struggling with my imaginary self

Postby not me » Fri Jun 04, 2021 4:49 am

good day to you everyone and hope all of you are doing fine,

I'm a loner who has great imagination and also I do have keen interest in creative and intellectual matters like music, religion and politics.

I'm in my late 20s and for half of my age I have been imagining myself as the greatest composer who has ever lived. I imagine my self composing and conducting classical music, and playing violin and piano in a breathtaking god like way.

my imaginary self is getting me away from reality, bit by bit this imaginary self is detaching me away from my family and my friends and every day I feel that I don't belong to the reality I belong in.

I got two question for you:

1- how do you refer to my condition? I mean do you a name or a term that describe what I'm through?

2- what are the first steps I need to do to start "getting real"?


luv u
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Jun 04, 2021 1:46 pm

not me wrote: 1- how do you refer to my condition? I mean do you a name or a term that describe what I'm through?


I typically advise people to avoid treating themselves as if they have "a condition". Generally speaking I have found it not very helpful. Having "a condition" is often used as a reason (excuse) to continue unhealthy behaviors.

not me wrote:
2- what are the first steps I need to do to start "getting real"?


You already know the answer. Stop isolating yourself. Spend significantly more time out in the real world. Set some goals that require interaction with other people. Those are the first steps.

Understandably, taking those steps is easier said than done. To accomplish this, I would look into CBT or exposure therapy. Basically, this means setting small goals that take you out of isolation and into the real world for longer periods of time and more sophisticated interactions.
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Jun 04, 2021 3:10 pm

One clarification…only seek CBT or exposure therapy if you are unable to take the steps without outside help.

In other words, you could set small goals and stop isolating yourself on your own. It’s like a person that wants to get healthy can begin a fitness routine without help. But, if after a few weeks or a month they see no progress, then they need seek out a personal trainer.

The one thing you want to avoid is not taking action. That just allows the situation to stay the same or get worse.
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#3

Postby not me » Fri Jun 04, 2021 7:12 pm

Thank you for the help
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#4

Postby davidbanner99@ » Fri Jun 04, 2021 9:44 pm

not me wrote:good day to you everyone and hope all of you are doing fine,

I'm a loner who has great imagination and also I do have keen interest in creative and intellectual matters like music, religion and politics.

I'm in my late 20s and for half of my age I have been imagining myself as the greatest composer who has ever lived. I imagine my self composing and conducting classical music, and playing violin and piano in a breathtaking god like way.

my imaginary self is getting me away from reality, bit by bit this imaginary self is detaching me away from my family and my friends and every day I feel that I don't belong to the reality I belong in.

I got two question for you:

1- how do you refer to my condition? I mean do you a name or a term that describe what I'm through?

2- what are the first steps I need to do to start "getting real"?


luv u

What do you class as "reality"?
You can get some binoculars and look at the Vega constellation one clear night. You may "imagine" you are seeing the star but, in fact, you are not. The light your retina interprets as real is roughly 27 years old. The idea of "reality" can't be boxed into physical perspectives.
If you want to be a great classical pianist, go ahead and get a piano. So long as the talent is latent.

"The primary cause of disorder in ourselves is the seeking of reality promised by another. - Jiddu Krishnamurti"
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Jun 04, 2021 9:54 pm

davidbanner99@ wrote: The idea of "reality" can't be boxed into physical perspectives.
If you want to be a great classical pianist, go ahead and get a piano.

"The primary cause of disorder in ourselves is the seeking of reality promised by another. - Jiddu Krishnamurti"


@not me…

In your specific case the social aspects are part of your reality. As David eludes to, “reality promised by another”.

Who determines if a composer, musician, artist, etc. is “great”? It isn’t a physical reality, it is a social contract. And you can’t enter a social contract in isolation.

Therefore, getting a piano is not enough. You could try and teach yourself music and focus all of your time and energy learning to play, but it will not achieve the social component.
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#6

Postby davidbanner99@ » Sat Jun 05, 2021 10:02 pm

This is a big problem with music. To be successful has a definite cultural link. In my view about the best time to thrive as a pop or rock musician was the late 1960s. Music then was a major cultural phenomenon. There were record labels and a vinyl market, which pushed bands to be competitive. Yet, even then, the bottom line was many musicians were social misfits, prone to instability and often chaotic. They burned bright and brief. They often made huge money but such fame often is brief. A few managed to lead a balanced life and enjoy longer success. I always admired people with talent like Barry Manilow who was self taught on piano and one day just took off to tour small clubs and perform.
The snag today is this: I still play keyboards by myself but I don't find hardly any interest in music around me. There are few people who would be able to comment on an arpeggio or even a basic riff. Music isn't discussed as it once was when fans would chat over the latest Rolling Stones album. So, what do you do? Music is a two way street. There needs to be people who can relate to the music and demand excellence. In my mind that isn't happening. Most of what I hear every day is a drum beat blasting out of a car and some vulgar, accented lyrics about drugs and sex or whatever. I wouldn't mind if it was creative or inventive. Do I want to produce this material in the hope of making money? Not really. For me pop and rock music is about creativity and expression but both the industry and the cultural environment is now very different. In fact, the solid groups and singers of past years no longer exist. I grew up with Bowie, Abba, Queen, The Police and other big groups but that era has passed. For sure, you can still get great as a musician if you are talented but will you be understood?
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#7

Postby davidbanner99@ » Sat Jun 05, 2021 10:10 pm

Back in the 1980s I used to watch this group perform a fair few times. The lead guitarist and vocalist was very talented. A few people I knew were lead guitar "aces".
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JtE_3E1rdlY
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