Fear of people

Postby Lady_Hyacinth » Sun Jun 13, 2021 2:16 pm

Hello, this is my first time posting here. Reading through different subjects here made me curious on what should I do to improve myself.

I was told that I was intelligent as I grew up. I was always in the front of people leading and showing my achievements. I read books and study hard because praises satisfy my ego.

I don't know when it started but I became way too full of myself and judge everyone around me. Then after reading a romance book I got hooked to it and now I prioritize Reading more than anything. I continued on disappointing my parents and before I knew it, I was afraid of everyone's eyes.

Whenever I go out of the house I feel like everyone's eyes are judging my every movement and thus my book addiction got worse and now I'm neglecting ng studies without my parents knowledge as I feel afraid even showing my presence to my classmates.

All my friends feels like they are only seasonal and they are only your friends when you can see them. I wanted to tell my parents but I don't want to hurt their feelings as I came from a very 'ordinary' family.

My questions are:

What do you think I should do about the 'judgemental' eyes that I feel like people were looking at me with?

What should I do so that I wouldn't be too hooked on using books to escape reality?

Also I am now afraid with socializing with people my age, what do you think should I do to get rid of my fear even slowly?
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Jun 13, 2021 3:27 pm

Lady_Hyacinth wrote: I wanted to tell my parents but I don't want to hurt their feelings as I came from a very 'ordinary' family.

My questions are:

What do you think I should do about the 'judgemental' eyes that I feel like people were looking at me with?

What should I do so that I wouldn't be too hooked on using books to escape reality?

Also I am now afraid with socializing with people my age, what do you think should I do to get rid of my fear even slowly?


You did not mention your age, but since you have classmates it sounds like you are a teenager or young adult in university.

-1- The absolute, 100% best solution is to ask someone in your life, an older adult or parent for help. The fear of telling someone close to you is understandable, but also is very temporary. It lasts for 2-minutes as you ask for help. From that point on, you will be able to gain comfort opening up and talking about how you are struggling.

-2- The absolute, 100% WORST solution is to try and solve this by yourself, using anonymous people in help forums. The forums will be a crutch, allowing you to continue to avoid people while at the same time temporarily feeling better and giving you a false sense that you are addressing your issues.

If I was in your situation, I would ask one of my parents by saying, "I feel like I am beginning to struggle in school, I need your help."

When they ask how they can help you say, "Honestly, I feel anxious and uncomfortable around the other students. I feel like they are going to judge me. It is hard for me to interact socially, so I've been spending more and more time by myself, reading books and avoiding school work. What can I do?"

The above two paragraphs will take less than 2-minutes to communicate to a parent or older adult. It's like pulling off a bandage. You build up the courage, take a deep breath, and rip it off quick!
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