Weed PAWS Extreme fatigue

Postby normie » Thu Jul 01, 2021 5:06 am

Hello everyone
Thank you for posting your stories and encouragement. It helps a lot.

My story:
I've been smoking on and off since I was 19. I was never a heavy smoker until recently. I'm 38 now. It started out as a fun experiment. Then got to a point where I was using it heavily for the past 4 years to self medicate CPTSD and IBS symptoms.

I was raised in a neglectful and unsafe situation. I was never taught about feelings and how to manage them. So turning to media and food, then alcohol and drugs was the only self-soothing strategy I knew. As a kid I would binge eat junk food to make myself pass out or escape into films and novels. alcohol was short lived as it made me feel sick. But marijuana I absolutely loved since the moment I tried it.

Weed helped numb myself out. It turned off the self hatred and negative intrusive thought loops I'd been suffering from for so long. For the first time in my life I felt what I thought was happiness. The chatter in my mind quited and I could think straight.

I could, for a time, be around people without feeling so awkward and in my head. It stopped me from thinking the new people I'd just met hated me. It helped me enjoy things and be creative. It numbed my chronic pain. Until it didnt.

I smoked so much that it stopped working. I didnt feel high any longer. I was paranoid, anxious, reactionary, depressed and deeply lonely. All the bs and unprocessed emotions spanning from childhood were still there bubbling at the surface. Weed just put everything on hold.

Something inside me, like a glimmer of hope wanted something different for my life so I quit last year for six months. then I relapsed. I started up smoking heavy flower and hash mostly. I was ashamed at the shell of a person i had become. At my negative attitude. At my lack of focus and direction. At pushing away healthy people and bringing in harmful types.

I'm now 81 days clean. And on healthy IBS diet. Ive gone through the majority of symptoms stated by others. My main symptom today is depression and extreme fatigue. I get so tired and can sleep 16h a day easily. Is this normal? Does the fatigue subside?

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I really want to stay sober and in my journey help others. I'm finding it very difficult right now.
normie
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Postby MMJnomo » Thu Jul 01, 2021 7:17 pm

Hi normie- I really relate to your comments about your childhood and about thinking that the people you’ve just met hate you already. Very unsafe and unloving childhood here, too, and I still don’t cope with it well. As to your question about the fatigue subsiding, yes it does seem to subside from my experience and from reading other people’s comments. 81 days is very early in withdrawal and it is not surprising at all that you are so fatigued. Maybe if you can sleep for 16 hours then your body really needs that. Be patient and allow yourself to rest when you need it. I was very fatigued in the beginning but I couldn’t sleep. So, I say if you can sleep, then sleep! The fatigued feeling passes. Also, the depression was absolutely BRUTAL in the beginning, too. That, too has lifted for me, and I have seen others say that it lifted for them. Your brain is readjusting to normal functioning and it takes a while. But, your body and brain will fight to heal and come back to balance and homeostasis as long as you don’t use substances. For reference I am now about 5 1/2 months into marijuana withdrawal and 18 months alcohol-free and it has been a brutal time of waves of withdrawal alternating with windows of clarity. Hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. One thing that really helped me was reading other people’s experiences here, so I am so grateful to everyone who has shared here. I hope their stories will help you, too. All the best to you.
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