Learning to control my anger

Postby Michael09876 » Tue Jul 13, 2021 12:37 am

over the past few months, I have been working on my anger by meditating and calming myself down internally by asking myself " is it worth it?" I used to get soo upset when I'm at work when I'm put under pressure. If anybody has any advice, I would love to hear it.
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Postby Leo Volont » Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:05 pm

Michael09876 wrote:over the past few months, I have been working on my anger by meditating and calming myself down internally by asking myself " is it worth it?" I used to get soo upset when I'm at work when I'm put under pressure. If anybody has any advice, I would love to hear it.


Hi Michael, This is Leo Volont. Yeah, I got a lot of advice. Look below and you will see that I have two general essays on Anger Management. The Primary one is "Anger Management Long Term and Short Term", and then the shorter "Make A New Personality for Yourself"... or something close to that. When writing a response you lose sight of the Main Menu Page. But, I have been the primary responder on this page for a while. My advice is based on the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy School of Psychology (founder Aaron Beck) or the Rational Emotive Behavior School (Founder Albert Ellis). Those schools have been around for decades now and so all the Self Help Books that are any good at advising about Anger Management are some kind of Cognitive or Emotive Behavioral Therapy. The best popular author I found is Ronald Potter-Efron who in addition to his popular books has a few College Text Books out there and so he is taken seriously in the Community.

Yeah, Meditation could help but on in the context where your cortisol levels are super high because you have been under constant stress. You see, the amygdala gland secretes cortisol under stress and then it takes about 24 hours for the cortisol to metabolize away but until then you are a bit jumpy and so it is easy to trigger another crisis episode the secretes more cortisol and it it sets up a catenation of repeated anger episodes and you stay wired all the time, and if the amygdala is kept THAT active then it just starts constantly seeping cortisol. What can you really do for such a person that STRESSED OUT. Yeah, people like that write in and they have jobs and nagging wives and brat kids, and so you CAN'T tell that the ONLY THING that might work is to just GET AWAY and be alone until their BRAIN can get back to baseline and their amygdala stops literally seeping tension. But, yeah, that is where Meditation might help.

But, you really need to look at Cognitive Behavioral Control. You need to disarm the Triggers. I am still touch to insults. Everybody that is used to taking responsibility gets territorial, and territoriality is a huge trigger. The best way to avoid anger, really, is to go somewhere where you know nothing, or you know everybody knows more than you do, where you have no responsibility, you are in charge of nothing. If you get insulted you know you deserve it. You have no territory and so nobody can step on your toes. If you have no Status then nobody can threaten what you don't have.

Relationships, well, those are almost guaranteed to be Trigger Points. SO MANY EXPECTATIONS. Frustration also causes Anger. People Idealize their Relationship Partners and every disillusionment is a Trigger.

I found One Trick all by myself... suggested half way by Ronald Potter-Efron. You see, when the amygdala is releasing Cortisol the first muscle group to tighten up is the Jaw Muscles. If you can RELAX them before your MIND knows it's angry they you can STOP the Cortisol. Apparently we evolved the ability to TURN OFF accidental PANIC attacks, you know when we at first think the stick in our path is a SNAKE but then notice really quick it is a Snake, well, we can say OH with a Wide Open Mouth... your jaw can't clamp and so there is the Relaxation of the jaw muscle. BUT it only takes less than TWO SECONDS before the Cortisol HITS your Brain and so you have to catch the first tightness NOW and relax. You can practice feeling what the first Cortisol feels like. Pay attention here. You Take A Pin and you prepare to stab the top of your hand with it. As soon as you are really serious about stabbing your hand... THERE you feel your jaw tighten... RELAX. Don't screw with the exercise because that is CORTISOL our enemy.

But, yeah, Michael, I wrote enough to let you know that I'm not blowing you off with a few references. BUT now I am telling you to read those two essays I wrote. Then, I check this page every day. Let me know what you think. Take care man.
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