Internet forums are terrible to ask for psychological help

Postby birdseyeview3688 » Tue Aug 31, 2021 6:31 pm

:cry:
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#1

Postby quietvoice » Tue Aug 31, 2021 6:46 pm

makama wrote::cry:

Tell me you are saying this because no one has yet to answer your other post within the last 90 minutes.
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#2

Postby Alpha90 » Wed Sep 01, 2021 5:48 am

Not really. There are a lot of good resources here.
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#3

Postby davidbanner99@ » Wed Sep 01, 2021 9:28 pm

quietvoice wrote:
makama wrote::cry:

Tell me you are saying this because no one has yet to answer your other post within the last 90 minutes.

I think on three occasions I responded to questions asked by new arrivals and each time received no further comment. Such as one thread lower down asking for clarification of two symptoms. I can only assume such a post was written on a whim and forgotten the next day. I may no longer bother to spend time referencing such material for obvious reasons. Not sure how often that happens.
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#4

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Sep 02, 2021 3:21 am

davidbanner99@ wrote:I think on three occasions I responded to questions asked by new arrivals and each time received no further comment…..I may no longer bother to spend time referencing such material for obvious reasons.


Why do you need to receive further comment?

1. If you think you have useful advice, give it.

2. Just because there is no further comment doesn’t mean your response is without value. As a public forum, everyone can read it, including people in the future that may have a similar question.

I get why you might say, “for obvious reasons”, but I disagree with the implication. You should not base your participation on the idea that your effort in responding deserves or merits “further comment”, even if that comment was merely a “thank you” or a “f@#$ off”.

Respond, solely because you believe that you have something of value to offer.
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#5

Postby tokeless » Thu Sep 02, 2021 5:43 am

I can see both sides on this and have been a bit puzzled at times that an OP hasn't responded when their question was 'so important'. However, I come down more with Richard really. I have been attacked for the advice or opinions I have 'offered' and it's important to remember that I only offered it. People can take what they can or not... it is never important that they agree or not. Just offer and leave it there.
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#6

Postby davidbanner99@ » Thu Sep 02, 2021 1:27 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
davidbanner99@ wrote:I think on three occasions I responded to questions asked by new arrivals and each time received no further comment…..I may no longer bother to spend time referencing such material for obvious reasons.


Why do you need to receive further comment?

1. If you think you have useful advice, give it.

2. Just because there is no further comment doesn’t mean your response is without value. As a public forum, everyone can read it, including people in the future that may have a similar question.

I get why you might say, “for obvious reasons”, but I disagree with the implication. You should not base your participation on the idea that your effort in responding deserves or merits “further comment”, even if that comment was merely a “thank you” or a “f@#$ off”.

Respond, solely because you believe that you have something of value to offer.

Don't you think that the asking of detailed information requires at least some acknowledgement? By that I mean, otherwise it suggests lack of interest in the first place. Years ago I was on ancient classical history and often posted questions. And I got good answers. Always, I would finish with some feedback. I sometimes get an impression of very casual, "on a whim" posts made and then forgotten the next day. So you ask yourself why bother?
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#7

Postby davidbanner99@ » Thu Sep 02, 2021 1:33 pm

Years ago I recall a biology lecturer asking someone to leave his class as he'd been asleep during the class.
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#8

Postby quietvoice » Thu Sep 02, 2021 2:03 pm

davidbanner99@ wrote:
Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:Why do you need to receive further comment?

1. If you think you have useful advice, give it.

2. Just because there is no further comment doesn’t mean your response is without value. As a public forum, everyone can read it, including people in the future that may have a similar question.


Don't you think that the asking of detailed information requires at least some acknowledgement?

davidbanner99@ wrote:Years ago I recall a biology lecturer asking someone to leave his class as he'd been asleep during the class.

You fell asleep. Please leave the classroom.
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#9

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Sep 02, 2021 2:59 pm

davidbanner99@ wrote:Don't you think that the asking of detailed information requires at least some acknowledgement?


Absolutely not.

When I read a post and decide to respond, I have ZERO requirements or expectations of other people. ZERO.

This includes the person that originally asked the question, other forum members, or people that might just be passing by the forum. I don’t write responses to receive acknowledgment. I respond because I find the question or topic worth taking a minute or two out of my day to write something. But the “worth” of my time is for me, no one else.

An analogy might be helping people cross a busy street. I would do it because I feel it worth my time. Do you stop helping, because no one says “thanks”? Is it a waste of time, because you are not acknowledged? I don’t think so.

If instead of people it was helping turtles, I doubt you would have such a requirement. You would say, “But, turtles can’t thank or acknowledge me for getting them across the street.” You would help other species without expectation of acknowledgment, but when it comes to your fellow man, you expect something in return. I don’t.
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#10

Postby tokeless » Thu Sep 02, 2021 3:43 pm

Absolutely not.

When I read a post and decide to respond, I have ZERO requirements or expectations of other people. ZERO.

This includes the person that originally asked the question, other forum members, or people that might just be passing by the forum. I don’t write responses to receive acknowledgment. I respond because I find the question or topic worth taking a minute or two out of my day to write something. But the “worth” of my time is for me, no one else.

An analogy might be helping people cross a busy street. I would do it because I feel it worth my time. Do you stop helping, because no one says “thanks”? Is it a waste of time, because you are not acknowledged? I don’t think so.

If instead of people it was helping turtles, I doubt you would have such a requirement. You would say, “But, turtles can’t thank or acknowledge me for getting them across the street.” You would help other species without expectation of acknowledgment, but when it comes to your fellow man, you expect something in return. I don’t.[/quote]


I wonder what acknowledgement is most important to you? You seem to know a great deal about psychology and ancient civilisation et al. Your posts are usually long and well detailed and referenced, so I think this is more about your understanding or knowledge not being acknowledged than a post per se. Obviously you will explain how I wrong and the reasons why, an assumption on my behalf maybe, but as for the original point, I don't mean to offend but it's my opinion. I don't expect anything for it either.
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#11

Postby davidbanner99@ » Thu Sep 02, 2021 9:40 pm

I once met a stranger online from Chicago. He had a family document in Slavonic and asked if anyone could translate it. I offered to do free of charge. It was a small document and I sent the translation by e-mail. Turned out the distant relative had passed all her church exams in a Chicago Orthodox School. And then.......Nothing. Not a word of thanks. Only many weeks later I found out the guy had started a new family history search, prompted by that text. I just figure when we answer questions some indication of interest is just the done thing. Otherwise you feel the person asking a question isn't interested in the first place. Still, point taken. Maybe I'm getting to be a touch narcissistic as the years pass.
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