PAWS ?

Postby Elpino91 » Tue Sep 28, 2021 5:55 pm

Hi All,

I believe i have PAWS but wanted to share my story with you to get your thoughts on it.

I have been smoking cannabis for around 12 years - (18 to 30 years old) with the last few years smoking daily but very small doses ( for example 80% tabacco / 20% weed).

In July I decided to try and stop smoking - i didn't really experience any symptoms until week 2 when one night i couldn't sleep, felt very weak and thought I was about to faint - ended up having diarrhoea. Never really felt like my true self and feel dizzy regularly since then. Sleep wasn't great but nothing too bad. I also would like to point that I ended up having a couple of tokes after i got ill (maybe 2/3 times) All this time i thought it was related to my stomach but got everything checked out and all good.

Near the end of august i went on holiday to see family where I ended up smoking small amounts again until I had one joint with my brother and i ended up having a bad trip - the outer body kind of experience. His weed is homegrown so not strong at all. But nevertheless this was the final straw for me . This was on the 29th of August - so i guess this is my first proper month sober. Since my bad trip i've had loads of different symptoms

Waking up with the fear like something is wrong
OCD symptoms - scared I would hurt someone or loose control
Anxiety - about everything and nothing - as soon as I get over one anxiety it's like my brain is looking for something new. I could be in the car and i start overthinking everything ( am i crazy etc etc)
Mood swings - like today i was really positive and then other of nowhere i end up being annoyed / any for not particular reason - thankfully it passed
Headaches mild
depersonalisation
Sleeping difficulties - wake up constantly and not able to sleep again - vivid dreams as well
Wake up with the fear
Intrusive thoughts - hurting people / loosing control ' what if'
Heart Palpitation.

All the above were really intense for the first 3 weeks since my bad trip in august. I have been seeing a hypnotherapist and as well as meditating which have helped massively. Things are much more bearable now but I just wanted to know if this was potentially PAWS ? I don't seem to have waves of bad days but it's more like i could wake up feeling good and then suddenly it's like i remember all the above and I start having anxiety again.

Thanks in advance everyone
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#1

Postby PowerOfMyMind » Wed Sep 29, 2021 3:05 pm

It sounds like paws to me. You may still be in acute withdrawal though too. Unfortunately time will tell here how things pan out. Try to remember it will pass and you will heal in time
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#2

Postby Elpino91 » Wed Sep 29, 2021 3:28 pm

Thank you for reply @powerofmymind !
I meant to say ‘if this is PAWS ‘as I’m still experiencing all this symptoms but much more bearable at the moment.

I just find it amazing that long term PAWS is not a known medical condition !!! But it’s been great to read various stories and support from this forum !

I’ll keep you posted on my recovery- stay strong everyone !
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#3

Postby Elpino91 » Tue Oct 26, 2021 8:10 am

As I get closer to my second month sober I want to share my experience with everyone as I kind find it therapeutic but also hoping other people can share there experience regardless at what stage they are at in their recovery.

Second month has been similar to the first but do feel things are less intense most of the time.

Intrusive thoughts / OCD : I’ve had all kinds of intrusive thoughts but the main ones have been around harming people I’m closest to and it’s been horrible. It’s also been around thinking I might be mentally ill and the occasional HOCD. However I have been dealing it with much better by keeping busy and not letting it overwhelm me.

Sleep : I have been able to fall asleep quite easily but I always wake up around 3/4am and then I can’t fall back to sleep. It’s like my brain is in full throttle and I can’t control the thoughts. Vivid dreams are still in full flow but not as intense as the first month.

Confusion : this happen rarely but there has been few instances where I feel confused for no particular reason and then that brings anxiety. Last week I couldn’t remenber what days it was for about 5 seconds and I started thinking that I’m mentally ill etc etc - does this happen to anyone ? I also think I’ve had brain fog for a while.

Memory : my memory has been getting better but it’s more the timelines I struggle with. Sometimes I feel like the weeks just fly by and it’s scary.

Anxiety : of course it’s always there but again I’m able to cope with it much better by staying busy , exercising and meditating.

Seeing all the different success stories in this forum has been really helpful. So please share your stories whether you are past PAWS or right in it like me. Any tips are welcomed
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#4

Postby WeWillHeal » Tue Nov 16, 2021 8:20 pm

Hey Elpino! We are similar ages and smoked for a similar period of time. I had a terrible trip on August 22nd, quit cold turkey, and have had similar symptoms that you report in this thread. My OCD is different but I have been rather obsessive about things. Confidence is not where it used to be. Health anxiety is extremely high. I am noticing improvements as I approach 3 months but I also am aware I have a long ways to go.

Honestly, I don't know if I ever would have quit for good if it wasn't for this experience. I quit multiple times over the last decade for a month here and a month there and I never had any of this happen and would always go back. Not this time..Too much to lose. This will end up being a blessing in disguise. I can never go back.

We got this! Keep us updated on your progress and what helps.
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#5

Postby Elpino91 » Tue Nov 16, 2021 9:59 pm

WeWillHeal wrote:Hey Elpino! We are similar ages and smoked for a similar period of time. I had a terrible trip on August 22nd, quit cold turkey, and have had similar symptoms that you report in this thread. My OCD is different but I have been rather obsessive about things. Confidence is not where it used to be. Health anxiety is extremely high. I am noticing improvements as I approach 3 months but I also am aware I have a long ways to go.

Honestly, I don't know if I ever would have quit for good if it wasn't for this experience. I quit multiple times over the last decade for a month here and a month there and I never had any of this happen and would always go back. Not this time..Too much to lose. This will end up being a blessing in disguise. I can never go back.

We got this! Keep us updated on your progress and what helps.


Hi mate

Like you - I stopped a few times but always smoked again. But as you say with what we are living right now I know I will never smoke again. I don’t want to live this twice.

I had a little episode on Sunday because of an intrusive thoughts that really scared me and anxiety was like the first weeks. But managed it and it only lasted a day (thank god). As you say we have a long way to go but I do feel we are improving.

One thing that helped me was a post called ‘baked brain from exstonerinhell. Really makes you understand why we are living this. There’s other post that talk about how the brain is just trying to find the right balance after years of smoking weed. Another thing that has helped is being open about it with my closest friends and family. They’ve been really supportive and encouraging.

But yeah we will get though this with time ! Keep believing and always try to find the positives in the negatives !
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#6

Postby quietvoice » Wed Nov 17, 2021 1:12 pm

Elpino91 wrote:One thing that helped me was a post called ‘baked brain from exstonerinhell.


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