11.5 months

Postby Longduckdong » Tue Jan 25, 2022 4:39 pm

Good morning everyone, I am officially 11 months sober and still working through sh**. I am starting to notice a pattern with my physical symptoms and mental. Typically I wake up when anxiety forces me and I feel icky for a lot of the day but I am now more able to function at my job. I feel super foggy in the morning and sometimes to an extent of still feeling as if I am high. I get head pressure and tension headaches. Some nausea and weak/tired legs. I can honestly say I do feel better then I do 5 months ago but I still just feel so far away from my old self. I get sweat and anxious when I have to speak on zoom. I get physical symptoms when my wife talks to me about how stressful her work day was. I am able to control my anxiety a lot more. I use to not be able to go in a store without feeling like I was going to pass out. I can now manage a trip to the store with little to no issues which is an improvement. I just want to feel better. I smoked 15 years day and night so I understand that 1 year probably is not enough to get my sh** back to normal. Any success storied to keep me motivated would be awesome. I have actually gotten to a stage where sometimes I feel like maybe I should just smoke so I can feel normal again. I am sure its just my stupid brain f***ing with me.
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#1

Postby tokeless » Tue Jan 25, 2022 8:33 pm

I can honestly say I do feel better then I do 5 months ago but I still just feel so far away from my old self.

I have actually gotten to a stage where sometimes I feel like maybe I should just smoke so I can feel normal again.

Can you explain this more because your 'normal self' was the stoned you? What were you like before you started smoking weed?
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#2

Postby Longduckdong » Tue Jan 25, 2022 8:37 pm

tokeless wrote:I can honestly say I do feel better then I do 5 months ago but I still just feel so far away from my old self.

I have actually gotten to a stage where sometimes I feel like maybe I should just smoke so I can feel normal again.

Can you explain this more because your 'normal self' was the stoned you? What were you like before you started smoking weed?


Honestly I do not remember my sober self at all. I was 14 the first time I smoked and picked it up pretty constantly when I was 17. Then I got to the point where I could get weed myself and started purchasing it a lot. Never went more then a few hours without being high. I now just feel off physically. I have weird head feelings constantly and wake up groggy all the time. I suffer from tension headaches which I have always had but they are a lot worse since I am not smoking. When I say normal I cannot really explain what normal is. I guess I just want to feel comfortable. I get hours where I feel perfect and even a day here and there. But majority of my life now I am feeling off or uncomfortable. The way I feel is completely manageable and I can live like this knowing it has become my new norm. I just hope that normal is better then what I am feeling now.
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#3

Postby Brokethehabit » Tue Jan 25, 2022 9:33 pm

Longduckdong wrote:I now just feel off physically. I have weird head feelings constantly and wake up groggy all the time.


Congrats man on having been sober for so long! I remember this phase around 11 months in. It was manageable but demanding. I had annoying waves with physical symptoms, hardly any anxiety though. It was long months before all this lifted and I could live my life free of PAW sickness. After month 13 things took a favourable turn and now 28 months in PAW seems to be a distant memory. Stay strong man, 11.5 months means that relapsing is not an option any more!
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#4

Postby Luna824 » Sat Jan 29, 2022 8:53 am

Hey Longduck! It’s been awhile. I’m 2 weeks away from 1 year sober. And things have finally started feeling better/back to normal for me. I took a big break from the site and I do think it’s helped a bit. Not having to think about paws, symptoms, anxiety for awhile helped. I do believe a lot of things/symptoms do get triggered by something. Like if I’m stressing about work then I start having SOB, headaches, dizziness etc. like the physical symptoms trigger the mental frenzy and vise versa the anxiety triggers physical symptoms. But the conclusion I’ve come up with is at the end of the day it’s all in my head. Smoking weed for an extended period of time really just f***ed up my brain and my brain is just slowly healing itself. My biggest advice is to slowly take time away from the site/reading stories/posting your story and symptoms. For me when I post about my symptoms part of me goes back to those feelings even a little bit. So by not posting about it, reading about it I’m giving myself time to forget about it. I hope that makes sense! Anyways, don’t smoke again! That will make you feel worst. Try to keep pushing through
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