Time to Quit Marijuana

#465

Postby ToneDef » Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:30 am

Hey everyone,

Its pretty cool that i found this site. I may as well give you my background. I'm 27, up until 13 days ago I was a HEAVY marijuana user, and prior to that i use to be highly addicted to cocaine, ecstasy and weed. And to put some icing on the cake, i have severe depression/anxiety problems for which i am medicated (150mg Effexor Xr and 10mg of Valium daily)......oh and did i mention that I'm also a gay guy who is really not comfortable in his own skin so to speak.

I've been smoking weed since i was about 16 out of boredom and because it just wast the thing to do. I come from a very small island in Canada known as Prince Edward Island, its very secluded in a lot of ways and the majority of the population my age are addicted to something. Weed became my scapegoat for dealing with my sexuality and the fact that i don't really flow with the whole "gay scene" not here anyway. I'm you average everyday normal guy and don't really carry any of the mannerisms that most people consider gay people to have which almost makes it worse for me in a lot of ways because no one knows i am unless i tell them and it makes finding a relationship hopeless. weed became my daily routine, as soon as i got home from work or had any free time, i was probably high. the past couple years weed has given me uncontrollable anxiety and has been the downfall of my social life. its also contributed to many "breakdowns" I've had at work. i started to seek therapy years ago when i was trying to "come out" per say and deal with my hard drug problems. after quitting hard drugs, my doctors questioned me quite frequently about weed usage. I'm a very honest person, but this was one thing that i blatantly lied about to my doctors, thinking it was not contributing to my severe depression/anxiety. I've known for a long time now that it is indeed effing with my head. so with the help of a good friend I've been sober for 13 days. I'm going through some pretty crazy stuff, violent mood swings, headaches, nightmares/dreaming, complete breakdowns to the point where I'm in tears, and severe depression/anxiety. i don't really know what I'm looking for here. i feel soo messed up and have been sleeping an unreal amount. the breakdowns have been happening a lot over the last couple years and are affecting my work in very negative way. I'm a computer technician for a large manufacturer and have a lot of responsibilities. I'm not really even into computers, music is my true passion but weed has ruined most of my inhibitions to do anything with that part of my life, plus its stretched my financially thin to the point where i barely can make ends meet. the whole addiction aspect has seemed to subside for the most part, but i just feel really messed in the head. its kinda scary, and my meds seem to only work a bit lately due to the fact that i'm experiencing such bad withdrawls from the pot. i have no desire to really do anything, for the most part i sit at home and think myself into a bad head state.

Weed has done nothing for me bottom line, its been a huge crutch for me in life and has left me feeling very alone and scared. a lot of my problems stem from my sexuality, but weed makes those problems seem far worse than they are.
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#466

Postby Struggling » Tue Sep 09, 2008 11:20 pm

Hi everyone,
Ill start by saying that nothing in my life has been harder to give up than weed!
I have been trying to quit smoking for like 4-5 years.
I cant get over the hump and be done with it. I fall back into my old habits.

I fear ive lost all confidence in my ability to quit. I am going to try again and hopefully this forum can act as inspiration. im on day one and so far i feel ok.

My situation is this: I started when I was in highshool, smoking recreationally.
went off to university for 4 years, where i smoked probably everyday.
I met my girlfriend in highschool, she knew i smoked weed then. at somepoint in one of my many attempts to quit, I promised her that I would be done with it. I have failed over and over again trying quit, feeling ashamed, and fearing that she would leave me, I lied. I lied again and again.

I am at the point now where my anxiety is overwhelming. Anxiety that im wasting my life, anxiety that im am liar and she will never forgive me.
I dont smoke nearly what i use to, but over the last 4-6 months ive been getting worse, wanting to get high more and more oftern. Today I am deciding.. yet again.. that it is time to quit.

wish me luck... I do plan to tell her, but not until I am confident that I am clean and that I wont fall back into the GREEN TRAP.

I dont need pot.
niether do you
no excuses
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#467

Postby AntonTheOne » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:44 pm

Hello everyone i have just read some of the posts here because i went on google and typed in help quiting weed i have been smoking since i was 12/13 i cant remember am 21 in december it needs to stop but the thing is my brother and alot of my family smoke it and am around it alot more than normal people if you know what i mean so it makes it even harder for me i smoke a 20 bag aday and i just tired and fed up as soon as i wake up in the morning its wakey bakey time i just need some help i like what should i do when feeling bored and need a smoke its just things seem alot better when am high am high right now writing this i just wanna stop am gonna try and sort od cold turkey myself really gonna restrane myself from smokin when i do i wanna do "THE BIG QUIT"
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#468

Postby itsbeenalongtimecomming » Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:49 pm

Hi all, my name is chris and i have smoked daily for about 7 years. I'm 22, and have decided, after months of a worstenning mental state to quit cold turkey. Last winter a very good friend of mine discoverd he had a brain tumor. Long story short he passed away a couple of months ago. My solution ofcours to not deal with it was to get smashed on weed. I didn't go and see him once in the last 3 months of his life. I am going to have to deal not only with that shame but also knowing that it was because of the weed I was scrared. The only way I can now think of apologising to him (RIP) is to give up for him. The problem is I am having bad withdrawls. It's been 48 houres without sleep, cold sweat, depression ect.. I don't want to resort to antidepressants ore any other form of medcation to help. Could someone please let me know how long this will last. I've read dosens of medical reports written by condescending doctors who have never smoked. I'm hoping I will find here a first hand account of a recoverd user. I have gone from about 6 fat joints a day to none. Hopefully tomorrow will be easyer, thats all I can tell myself, but sh** it's hard. The light at the end of the tunnel is so bright but I cant seem to get any closer. Can someone help take a few more steps towards it.
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#469

Postby EscapeArtist620 » Sat Dec 27, 2008 2:42 am

Hi,

This is my first post here and like many of you I too have been considering quitting Marijuana. I started smoking at a relatively mature age (23 years old) my girlfriend at the time was cheating on me so I needed an outlet to calm my boiling rage at the time. When I tried it for the first time I immediately felt paranoid, however that paranoia immediately stopped the nagging anger I was feeling. My anger towards her and how society has treated me made me dependent on this illegal herb. Now 12 years later I haven't done really much with my life. Im 35, I live with my poor widowed mother and I have no job, girlfriend, family or anything. Im just a 35 year old loser. This Christmas was the worse ever. I broke down on my staircase realizing where my life has gone, the people I spent my childhood with have now grown up and are giving Xmas to their families, me all I have is just a 4 year old cat. I wanted to kill myself but stopped realizing that suicide is pointless, and a cowards way out of dealing with life. Plus I would only be mourned for a short period of time, and only a few years would pass for people to simply forget about me.

But there is so much anger in my life right now, I absolutely hate the people I see in the world especially those I had to smoke weed with and buy from. There was a time I wished Marijuana was legalized for the sole purpose of not having to buy it from assholes. but i realize that there is much more then that. I can't articulate, Ive developed an increasing phobia from social related matters, and heaven forbid finding a girlfriend who isn't screwed up in the mind. I really miss gaining the favor of a nice girl, now all I seem to attract are malcontents.

The last time I smoked was the little roach I had leftover from Christmas day. I waited for my dealer to arrive and he showed up with his wife, me alone in the backseat. I really thought about giving up smoking because every little bit of money I get I give it to him or anybody else who has weed. Maybe it's just me but I think in his mind he is lauhing at my horrible situation.


Well, I'm a 35 year old loser, but I haven't given up yet. I aced my finals at school, but when I realize it, I have an untold number of years to spend in school and no way of paying for it. I exercise regularly and have given up cigs for 2 years now. I just hope my life will turn around now that Ive finally decided to give up pot.
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#470

Postby Baked_In_Boulder » Sat Dec 27, 2008 7:57 am

To EscapeArtist620,

Welcome to the forum and congrats on your decision to quit!

Please don't beat yourself up too bad. The good news is that you have quit. You could have simply kept smoking and never dealt with your addiction. You actually had the courage to end the destructive cycle of weed.

So what to do next? Well, really there is nothing to do or nothing to wait for. You are now a fee man and are no longer a slave to weed. All you have to do now is celebrate your success daily. Anytime you think about weed, just think how great it is that beat it. YOU DID IT! You made a conscious decision to better yourself and you should be proud of this achievement. Don't look back and don't envy other smokers because they are still in the trap that you just escaped from.

Each day will get better

-Baked In Boulder
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#471

Postby EscapeArtist620 » Sat Dec 27, 2008 8:18 am

I did! I beat it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8)
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#472

Postby Baked_In_Boulder » Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:05 am

EscapeArtist620 wrote:I did! I beat it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8)



EscapeArtist,

How are you doing? You have the right attitude.

B-I-B
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#473

Postby dopehope » Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:32 pm

Hi there, this site is amazing, like free therapy, just what I need. I am a 31 yr old female, have smoked weed on and off since I was 16. Pretty much every day for the last 10 years apart from long holidays and the odd few days of trying to give up. My partner and I get thru roughly £20 of weed every 2 days.
I do get depressed and moody, I get very anxious and stressed easily if I havent got a joint. My world seems empty when I havent got it.....like there is nothing that will fulfil me like weed can!!!! Its such a huge part of my life and who I am....people I have met, experiences I've had, they are all linked to the weed...... I have lived in denial for a long time pushing the thoughts from my mind that I should stop coz its so hard to actually have to deal with life......weed nums everything, u can just live in that hazy cloud of escapism ignoring the world around u and just e stoned!!!
I have wanted to stop smoking for a long time and have tried many times, I don't like the person it makes me, I hate looking stoned....I feel like I am still a student that hasn't grown up ( no offence anyone) red eyes and grey skin is not good when u r trying to fight off ageing anyway!!!! My memory is not good, my pronounciation of words is not what it was, my energy levels are always low and I feel very unmotivated all the time. I got married this year and we really would like to start a family and I desperatly want to turn my life around...am not getting any younger...
Anyway today is the 2nd day I havent smoked. I want this time to e different.......its een inspiring reading all the stories....not many recently, hope people r still looking and sharing on here. I feel positive today ut tomoro is another day and I am scared I can't do this, I refuse to elieve my destiny is to e a stoner...... am fearful that I don't know how to cope without it.....have een drinking alot for the laft few years too as do all my friends.....that I am working on too........anyway am just venting, it feels good.......thanks for listening
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#474

Postby prjct » Sun Jan 04, 2009 5:58 pm

Wow! I am SOOOO glad I found this site today as tomorrow is "d-day" for me as I start the quest to remove myself from daily smoking for many many years.......how refreshing to read others fears, doubts, challenges, etc., etc......and to see so much support from others......

Thanks!!!
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#475

Postby Baked_In_Boulder » Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:08 am

dopehope:

Welcome to the forum and congrats on quitting! The first couple of weeks will be the hardest, but things will improve greatly after that. I think the key to a successful quit is to keep a positive attitude and to celebrate your success daily.

Remember this: What you are doing is AMAZING! You gave up a daily 10-year habit. Most people would keep on smoking and keep on abusing themselves. But YOU decided to make a positive difference in your life. YOU decided that you had enough and YOU took action. YOU should be very proud of yourself

Keep up the great work!

-Baked In Boulder
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#476

Postby strengthtochange » Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:34 am

dh - if you are ready, you can do it. you can beat it. believe in yourself. it is a tough road, and you will have to get to know yourself again. you will have to get the toxins out of your system and this takes time. use the forum - there are a lot of supportive people here who understand this.
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#477

Postby prjct » Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:34 pm

Hey DH - lets do this thing together! - Along with everyone here as well.......I'm half way through day one myself and like you I have lots of fears, doubts, more fears and more doubts as it's as easy a phone call or a quick ride somewhere to score some more.......and like you I am determined that that phone call or ride just simply will not happen....someone here suggested some great insight - don't focus on "quitting".....just stop!

Lets STOP together...

Peace to ya
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#478

Postby doped » Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:56 pm

I have been reading this thread for the last little bit and I have to commend everyone for offering such support for a very difficult challenge.

I have been smoking daily since I was about 15 and am now turning 30. The fact that I have now officially smoked HALF my life really hits home. It started as something to help me sleep at night because I suffered with insomnia at an early age. I think I became quite pathalogical with that excuse as I fell back on it to defend my addiction time and time again.

I am happy and sad to hear that I am not the only person that had a lot more going for them, but smoked it away. The last 5 years has had me go from a profitable job, and complete independance to recently laid off and completely dependant on my spouse.

I have made several attempts to quit, but failed between 1 day and 2 weeks of being clean. The worst part is about a 2 years ago I made friends with someone who has a good amount of access to free pot. Not all the time, but about 75% of the year now I can get almost as much as I need for free.

This killed my fuel for quiting. I already was foolish enough to believe I had control of the whole issue. Taking away a major portion of the cost of the drug made it that much harder to justify quitting. I took a lower paying position that offered me a little more free time and then filled my newly found free time with being stoned in front of the computer or tv. Doing exaclty what everyone has been saying "shutting off the world".

I just need to know how to find the strength to be consistent on staying clean and correcting my life when dope is so readily available to me and free majority of the time.
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#479

Postby dopehope » Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:14 pm

Baked_In_Boulder wrote:dopehope: Thank You.......so have made it to day 7..... am suffering today. I feel so emotional, want to cry alot. Am stopping the fags and drinking aswell and it eing friday.....its really hard, feel like something is missing. Have een to the gym, that helps. Sleep has een a nightmare. Have felt very tired and lethargic, stomach has felt wrong. I know what am doing is the right thing ut why does it all feel so wrong....y the way the letter on my keyoard etween the N and the V is not working!!!!!!! My husand seems to e finding it alot easier than me and he was even more heavier a smoker. This is annoying me, if he was weakening though then we would end up going to get some and would e ack to square one. I am enjoying feeling fresher and clearer in my mind ut at the same time it scares me. I just want a glass of wine and a spliff!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx

Welcome to the forum and congrats on quitting! The first couple of weeks will be the hardest, but things will improve greatly after that. I think the key to a successful quit is to keep a positive attitude and to celebrate your success daily.

Remember this: What you are doing is AMAZING! You gave up a daily 10-year habit. Most people would keep on smoking and keep on abusing themselves. But YOU decided to make a positive difference in your life. YOU decided that you had enough and YOU took action. YOU should be very proud of yourself

Keep up the great work!

-Baked In Boulder
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