wakinglife wrote:Shedding my shell (like a lobster)
A guest presenter at school the other day described how a lobster will shed its shell several times per year (fact check: turns out that adult lobsters shed every year or two). Regardless, the message behind the metaphor was that whenever the discomfort of the current shell gets to be unbearable, the lobster then grows a new one, busting free of the old, constraining one. If we stay constantly comfortable in our shell (even if it’s one that no longer “fits” us) we never have the impetus to transform and transcend our current limitations. It’s the discomfort that motivates us. If we numb ourselves with cannabis (in my personal case) we never truly feel the discomfort required to make a change. We feel numbly content to make the best of what we have. We feel a cloudy, slightly-disconnected, blissful haze, that takes us from the here and now— that actually blocks us from being fully present.
Recently, I was fighting a feeling of inner discomfort, particularly as it manifested as restless sleep and anxiety around work stress. I was tempted to go back to the canna-cure— get high and watch my stress and anxiety evaporate. I’ll admit, it was very tempting. Things came to a boiling point over the last 48 hours (precipitated by dinner party conversation around career and midlife crises, bubbling over into a BIG TALK I had with my wife about how frustrated and unfulfilled I feel about my current work situation). But, because of my ability to feel into myself, to drill deep and see what was actually going on inside me, I was able to clearly articulate how I am feeling.
I’ve reached a major decision to do a career path change, and get my masters in counseling. Had I been numbed or confused by weed, I doubt I could have reached this place of self-awareness. This plan feels like a bold step, but the right decision for me and my family. It will be a multi-year process, but I’m up for the challenge.
Benefit I’ve realized: Being present, cannabis-free, helps me truly check in and decide if I’m going down a life path that’s right for me. I am grateful for the clarity of mind that allows me to make tough decisions and adjust the course of my life accordingly. I am moving from a place of inner integrity, shedding my shell, living with purpose and passion.
There you go walkinglife. Finding the root cause and taking the difficult, thus more rewarding route out of your stress problem! And you brought inn your wife too, so now you have her full support as well (If I have understood the oposite sex correctly, hehehe, its a difficult thing!). My brother inlaw just started work at his new career. He is 51...
Benefits for me? Not so important, but my friends keep biking in the forrest with those 10 000 dollar mountain bikes. I wanted to join inn, but 10 000? Wich are dropping in price every time you go out, until you have lost a fortune? No way..
So I got stoned instead. For a long time, while they where biking and having fun in the forrest, laughing of cheap, broke me. After I sobered up, I had another look at it. Well offcourse, my stoned head had never thought about picking up the used ones when the bikers were buying their new bikes... So I checked the marked and got one for 2000 dollars. Still WAY too much. But this one I could sell at the end of the season for 2000 dollars.. Actually 2200 dollars. I got a good deal on it.. So now I knew if i serviced them myself and bought them used, I could actually earn some dimes on the bikes that I could not figure out for the last 7 years of my stoner life.. So this summer started with an awesome Specialized bike, until I sold it for 100 dollars more than I bought it for, and spent on it. Then a Transition bike I got a good deal on. Now I am slaying the trails on my Rocky Mountain Slayer, bought used for a very good price. Much better bike. I still haven`t sold my Transition bike as it compliments the Slayer.. Apart from that, I got a job as a bike messanger a few nights a week in the city... Paid excersise, bike training, and an awesome crew of lunatics as my coworkers on the gig. And my savings are still intact. Its actually growing a little because of the very expensive bikes...
This is my second season out on the trails biking, and now this season the guys I never got to bike with because of the expensive bikes they where riding, comes to me for advice about repair, good deals on bikes and so on. And I am in better shape for biking than they are.. So why stop with bikes? Now I want an excpencive car!
I am addicted to that kind of thinking now. Problem solving.
I am in no way a car guy. My friend has a Lamborghini. I would pay money to not drive in that embarrassing, noisy, uncomfortable, piece of midlife crisis. That`s how little cars interests me. Or Lambos are really fun on the tracks for racing, or the snowtracks for drifting, but its a lot better cheaper cars for track racing, and snow drifting...
I really want a Tesla Model X for trips, but no waaaaay i am using 150 000 dollars for one. That is the most common car in this city! And once you have driven a Tesla, its hard to get something else, even though your not a car guy. And this area has them all. I have driven them all, so, if you reading this disagree, go away with your arguements on what car is best. You have probably never driven the luxury cars you drule over, and watch on youtube. I drive them every day. End of story. Its just where I live. The Tesla town full of oil money.
In 2015 I was watching Elon on youtube, while smoking, and accepting that I was not going to have a Model X. Just the rest of the city, but not me. I had weed, I did not need a Model X!! hehe.
I think next year my sober brain has brought a Model x to my garage, and I have not paid 150k dollars for it.. Or I might have paid a lot for it, but I will know how to get the money for it back again, without losing on it. Sober brain is working hard on it and cant let the problem go...
That is one of the benefits I have. Its just not dreams anymore. My sober brain, while day-dreaming a lot, now starts to make plans on how to get to those dreams and goals, not just smoke another one and be content with not biking and not having a Tesla in my garage!
Well, this ended up a long post, and now I have to start packing. My sober brain is taking me to Hounduras tomorrow, with a surf board my stoner brain had left untouched for 10 years. My stoned brain always wanted to speak Spanish and surf again. It never happened. My stoned brain told me that I missed my shot when I chose Spanish away in highschool. My stoned brain told me that surfing was not for people over 40. I had missed my chance...
My sober brain thought it was a great idea and not a challange at all to learn Spanish, and told me Honduras has both Surf and Spanish! Así que ahora aprendo un poco más de Español cada día. So now I learn a little more Spanish every day.
I am proud of you, Walkinglife. You handled this like a champ.