Dying of anorexia

Postby Cooler » Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:11 pm


There is a girl in our neighbourhood who is dying of anorexia. She is such a kind and sensitive person and I have always liked her. She has been hospitalised a few times and comes out looking healthier, but when she is out for a while she goes downhill again.

Recently, she split from her boyfriend. Today, I saw her in the town and she looked absolutely terrible, so thin that it was hard even to look at her. She is about 30 years old but looks 50 - 60. It's heartbreaking, especially as I like her so much.

I wonder if there is anything to be done? Any ideas?

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Postby imheretohelp » Sat Jun 06, 2009 12:46 am

The trouble with Anorexia is that it is an OCD and anxiey disorder rolled in to one and in my view should be treated as a personality disorder not necessarily as a mental illness. If you refer to the link below you will realise that it is practically verging on a phobia. So it should really be called an environmentally induced personality disorder or E.I.P.D?

The second problem, if you accept my opinion above, is how do you help the sufferers?
Well the first thing that you should do is learn as much about the condition as you can,know more about it than she does. So lets start there.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anorexi ... atment.htm
Take a look at this site, one of the better ones out of the library that i have, and see where you can fit in. The second step is to get her to realise that she has a problem and what will happen if she doesn't see the damage that she is doing, she does but it maybe hidden so far in her sub-conscious it may take a while for you to get her to see it.

The bottom line is that she will be in serious denial, but if you can read any signs that she may offer that she does want to be helped then you will need to be ready to act. The fact that you are a bloke actually gives you an advantage. We are designed as pattern watching machines; she will say the same type of things and have similar behaviours that are repeated that will tell you what she is really feeling. The one thing that she needs now is a friend. And if you can try and get close to the family then you will have access to real time info, and if that can lead to you becoming more involved with her getting help from a GP then that will bode well, and if you need any further advice then you know where i am.

Kind regards
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Postby Cooler » Sat Jun 06, 2009 9:30 am


Thanks for that. Let's call this girl J.

Your point about me being a bloke and a friend is most perceptive. Obviously J's close family and a whole battery of doctors have failed to break the phobia.

When J. was hospitalised (against her wishes) she was in a ward of anorexics and they were working together against the medical staff, telling each other how to hide food and stuff like that. Her then boyfriend told me about this.

I've been thnking of looking J. up and just being a non judgmental friend, but something that bothers me is how bad she looks. J. was really kind to me a few years ago, when I was feeling down, and I would like to return the favour, but she looks so bad! I'm worried about cracking up in front of her, it's so dreadful - I'm talking Belsen here - it's like that. Heartbreaking.

I'll start by phoning a mutual friend and try to find out how things are.


PS - That was really good about the 'pattern watching machines' thing.
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Postby Unknown girl » Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:21 am

Hi, I have a post on anorexia too. I don't have much advice to give you sorry but you might find something useful there.
Here's the link- http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic. ... highlight=
Good luck x
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Postby Cooler » Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:37 am


I read the link.

Yes, J. does that exercise thing as well. She walks everywhere quickly and takes very long walks around the town. Someone told me that she is trying to burn off the calories, but what calories? She isn't eating.

C. :cry:
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Postby sgreen007 » Sat Jun 06, 2009 1:47 pm

Here's and idea...

Step 1 - Find out if she values her life and enjoys living. Without
knowing the answer to this question you cannot proceed.

Suggestion... Get a friend to dress in an undertaker's outfit and measure
her up for a coffin while you distract her by pointing a fake gun at her
telling here that she has "Less than a minute to live."

If she reacts in a really frighetened way and starts sobbing and pleading
for her life, you know that she actually does value her life and living.

From there it is just a question of:
1). Does she want help?
2). Does she want YOUR help?
3). What truly effective help there is for her?

If she show little or no reaction to your intervention, she has decided her
own course.
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Postby Joobles » Fri Jan 22, 2010 11:13 am

Can't help but think you may get arrested if you threaten her with a gun (fake or otherwise)- I wouldn't recommend that one
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