Personality disorder and eating habits

Postby lollipops_and_crisps » Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:20 am

Firstly, Hello everyone,
I have not really visited this site for quite some time, however I am back now and not necessarily with the same problems as before.
Having suffered anxiety depression and OCD (for which I was diagnosed, councelled and medicated) I now appear to have developed some kind of Obsession with my food intake.

I won't go into why I became depressed... It's a very long story, but I will begin by saying that at some of my stages of anxiety depression I became very obsessional with spending money, which in turn caused more worry, hence more depression. I recieved CBT for this and I managed quite well.
Other issues included; paranoia, obsessive thinking, reclusive, a turbulent relationship etc
I haven't self harmed in the way of cutting for at least 2 years, however, I believe restricting food intake is a form of it.
I am no longer taking Citalopram (which is how I found this site 4 years ago) or recieving councelling and I am fortunate to be in a job that I enjoy, yet has it's stresses!
It just seems as though the old traits are kreeping back in and they are manifesting in food obsession.

I weigh myself 6-10 times a day, if I am 8st or below I'm okay and can eat 1 decent meal. Anything above that and I panic and need to starve until it's gone down. The fear of becoming overweight is immense. I feel so massive and bulky if I'm not the correct weight. I feel unattractive, yet there are ladies I work with who are not "slim" but I think they look beautiful and well.

My boyfriend says every conversation we have includes me discussing food or weight and he is tired of it.
He is convinced I don't eat enough, but it's not like I feel massivley hungry.

I will starve when my weight is up and sometimes I will binge when it's down. When I binge I can't stop and that is what I fear, so most of the time limit my intake.
I have made myself vomit after meals with him (meals I have to keep him happy)! But again, not for at least 3 months.
I have personality disorder, for those who believe in it! There are ongoing debates as to it's existence!
Is this just another manifestation of my former issues like I think it is and does anyone have advice?

Thank you for your time and for letting me vent!
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Postby jurplesman » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:45 am

HI lollipops_and_crisps,

It is obvious to me that you have not been properly treated for your mood disorders. Your obsession about food and obesity can be explained because both the fear of becoming obese and having anxiety attacks share a common underlying physiological disorder; namely Insulin Resistance. Fortunately this can be treated nutritionally and without recourse to drugs, but it requires you to study the underlying mechanism of mood disorder. You can do so by reading:

Eating Disorders
Depression is a Nutritional Disorder
Depression is a Disease of Energy Production
Silent Diseases and Mood Disorders
Conquering Anxiety, Depression and Fatigue without drugs - The Role of Hypoglycemia by Prof Joel H Levitt

The most common silent disease resulting in depression is hypoglycemia. Most people feel better if they adopt the Hypoglycemic Diet. This diet should show its beneficial results in about three months, but if you have been using drugs - legal or illegal - it may take up to a year for a high protein diet to repair the damage to receptors for neurotransmitters. However, if problems persist I suggest you ask your doctor to be referred to a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or a Nutritional Psychologist, for further tests and diagnosis and treatment.
Also use our " Search Our Web Site" for more articles and information on topics that you may be interested in.
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Postby lollipops_and_crisps » Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:13 pm

Thank you for your reply, the links are very useful and I will continue to read through them.
I am aware that a lack of nutrition with no doubt have a negative effect.  Where I believe that restricting my food intake will only exascerbate my current issues, Im not convinced this is the initial problem.
I have developed a food obession over the past 12-18 months, prior to that my diet was healthy, there was no concern or guilt or need to lie about what I have or have not eaten.
Maybe I should think about taking citalopram again?  
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