body obsession misery

Postby obsessed49 » Wed May 05, 2010 7:45 pm

Hi - i'm not sure if anyone can help or understand but i wanted to just express how i am feeling and how i have been suffering for the past 3 years. i wouldnt say i had an 'eating disorder' or body dismorphia but something is not right and makes my life miserable.
I have never been massively overweight, i recognise that. about 3 years ago i was much larger, i'm 5ft 8, and weighed 13st at 23 yrs old. I had moaned about being a bit podgy but my weight had never overly been a concern. however, the doctor told me i should watch my weight as it was creeping up. I decided to try and shed some weight, and went to weight watchers and dropped two stone and felt great. however, i gained abouot half a stone again and went back to ww. i then dropped down to 10st. I began to be told by friends and family that they prefered me at 11st as i looked curvier and healthier but i became obsessed by maintaining a slim body. The more i lost, the more i wanted to lose. i began the atkins diet and went down to 9st 7. unfortunately, i put some weight back on and have been fluctuating since xmas between 10st and 11st. im currently 10st 4. i am not exagerating when i say that food DOMINATES my life. i love food and eating. but in my effort to try to loose weight (i would like to be 9st) i am always either dieting or binging then feeling guilty - to the level that i purge or take laxatives. i'm currently on a south beach diet, and am feeling ok - but i'm conscious that i upset people that are close to me by CONSTANTLY talking about my weight and worrying about what i eat and drink. i speak about it to strangers. i text people if i eat a biscuit cos i feel guilty. im told 100 times a day i have nothing to worry about, but when one person doesnt say anything when i say im dieting i presume they think i need to be on a diet. i look at my stomach and legs and thighs in the mirror everytime i pass. i grab the skin on my stomach when im feeling down or fat. i dont know what to do. i dont know how to stay slim but not obsess about food andthe way i look.
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Postby jurplesman » Thu May 06, 2010 4:25 am

This seems to be an obsessive concern about your weight, although you seem to have a normal weight for your height.

You need to understand that trying to control your weight by the amount your eat, is not an effective way of controlling weight. When you are hypoglycemic, you tend to put on weight, because with hypoglycemia - caused by Insulin Resistance - the calories are not absorbed by your digestive system and they then accumulate in your body as fat cells.

For an explanation see:

Eating Disorders
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Postby Nigel » Thu May 06, 2010 11:42 am

Hi Obsessed49,
Welcome to the forum :)

From what you said, I would agree - I don't think you have an 'eating disorder' as such. But what you describe does show patterns of 'disordered eating' and this can easily turn into something more serious.

You mention various weight targets, and they seem to be edging lower - from 13st to a now ideal weight of 9. It's this type of innocent dieting that can slowly get out of control without a person noticing it's happening.

It happened like that to a good friend of mine. A diet for all the right reasons, then on reaching her target she felt good. But things were still not right and perhaps a new target would help. Years later and she found herself being admitted to hospital in the grips of anorexia, and that never left her.

It might be an idea to check out one of the online BMI calculators to reassure yourself what your ideal (medically healthy) weight should be. I'd guess that 13st could be slightly overweight for your height, with 9st being around the normal. So as it stands I think you're ok, but please don't end up like my friend.

I see a lot of 'yo-yo' dieting going on here ;)
It often happens because a person is deprived of vital nutrients that the body then craves. So swings of restricting followed by overeating often occur. Another thing about diets is they keep the focus on food and weight, and that's precisely not where we want the mind to dwell. It keeps a person feeling 'hungry' so naturally they're gonna spend a lot of think thinking about eating.

One trick is to eat what you want when you want, but NO MORE! Eat consciously and STOP EATING as soon as you feel yourself feeling full. Even if that means leaving part of a meal, that's ok. Just as long as you feel full. And when your body 'knows' that food is always available when it needs it, it no longer needs to provide the urge eat excessively just in case it's later restricted again.

One last thing to consider...
When a person of a fairly normal weight starts feeling unhappy about weight and body shape, it's sometimes an indication that they're unhappy about another part of their life. That part feels beyond their control, and they find themselves turning to the one thing in life they do have ultimate control over.

Good luck,
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