Anxiety and Love

#2250

Postby Vany311 » Mon Oct 30, 2017 12:57 am

Soph123 did you finish the e-course? I just went over and I started reading books. I have only been dating my guy for only 4 months do you think is recomendable. Today I found a note I wrote two years ago talking about the person I was dating two years ago and said. “Whenever he treats me good I start feeling anxious and scared to fall out of love or get bored” and kinda gave me some sort of relief which means it’s not my boyfriend it’s me!
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#2251

Postby Vany311 » Mon Oct 30, 2017 1:06 am

Leah 09
I am considering very seriously on medication to deal with this anxiety that doesn’t let me sleep at night and it feels like want me to get out of my own body. I know with medication is trial and error until you find the medication that works for you. I hope you’re feeling better maybe you just need to give the medication some go to work. Also consider therapy? I am conidering to do the same thing.
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#2252

Postby Rnsm » Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:04 pm

Hey Vany311 from your post you said that basically you had anxiety before and now it's coming up again. So that would confirm that the anxiety has nothing to do with your partner, and unless you address it, it will unfortunately keep coming up with any romantic relationship? Does that make sense? I'm just asking as I'm struggling myself.
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#2253

Postby Vany311 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:28 am

Yes Rnsm! The first time it ever happened to me was 6 years ago. I was dating this guy for 1 year. A guy that treated me like a princess! I was in complete heaven after been in such horrible relationships before him. I used to date guys that would just treat me bad and never take me seriously. So when I met that guy I dated for 1 year I was extremely happy to the point where I thought wow this really is. One night while he was driving were starting talking about how much we cared about each other and that we couldn’t believe we’ve been together for a year. He dropped me off home that night and tried to go to sleep and immediately I started having a panick attack.... and all I had in my mind was him proposing and me denying him and running away. Next day I was so confused and depressed a two weeks later I broke up with him. I went into a deep depression that lasted 6 months because I couldn’t understand what it was. So at that point I thought it was that I had fallen out of love and left it as that... 3 years ago I started seeing this guy who I was extremely attracted to he started being very nice to me, being a gentlemen, two weeks later I webt into another panic attack and it felt exactly like the on I’ve had with my ex boyfriend years ago. A month after the guy stopped talking to me and my anxiety went away. The reason why my anxiety went away was because since he stoppped talking to me I had the excuse that it wasn’t my fault that it was him who stopped talking to me....
I kept seeing and dating other guys who honestly weren’t worth my time that’s why I probably didn’t develop anxiety. But now three years later after my last relationship anxiety incident I’m in the same dark spot. I’ve been dating my now boyfriend for 4 months everything was going well. Things here and there but nobody is perfect as i try to understand. But 3 weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night with the worst anxiety attack ever! And the first thing the cane to my mind was “I don’t like him, I’m going to hurt him, I’m not in love, I’m going to get bored” and after that it’s been a roller coaster but just until I found this forum I have discovered what really is my problem. I had not idea that my problem. Was called relationship anxiety.
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#2254

Postby Vany311 » Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:35 am

Everyone who has overcome this relationship anxiety please share how you did it! I’ve been reading more about Sheryl Paul blog do you think is worth buying the course?
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#2255

Postby BriKH » Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:36 pm

I haven't overcome it - at all- but I've done a little bit of the course and I think that it has been worth buying for me. Without it I feel like I would feel more lost and hopeless than I did before. It already has given me pretty good insight. So, for me, I am glad that I got it.
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#2256

Postby Vany311 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:05 am

Hello BriKH
Have you taking any medicine?
And I’ve hard for than one people that have bought the course and had worked for them and if you say that it helped you then I’ll take the Risk. I’ve been trying to incorporate exercise and more mindfulness in my life to keep my mind off focus. Like for example today while I was at work I was looking at the trees and counting the branches and then trying to feel my feet against the floor and stuff like that. Hopefully it helps
I’ve been trying to contact therapists but they all seem to be super busy so I’ll try a couple more tomorrow. Please keep posting here to know each other progress we really need support because we know what is it to be in this situation
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#2257

Postby Leah09 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 1:05 pm

Hey guys,
I thought I was doing well the past few days but I seem to be slipping back.
Hoping it’s the medication as Iv read it can make things worse before it gets better.
I hope you are all doing well
Will defo keep you guys updated
Much love x
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#2258

Postby Vany311 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:33 pm

I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this website on here but I was actually reading more into things that can help me and videos that would get me through the day and I found this girl who also has specialized on ROCD and Relationship anxiety. Her user name on YouTube is AWAKEN INTO LOVE. you guys should check it out and visit her website. The more you know how to treat this and read the better understanding we get and the easier it’ll be to overcome it. I have faith it’l will be like that.
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#2259

Postby BriKH » Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:29 pm

Vany311, no I haven’t taken any meds for this. To be fair, I resist taking medicine for other issues if I can. That’s just me. I have had the thought of “if this doesn’t get better I’m going to the doctor”, which surprised myself, but I never did it. It’s still a little present but not as bad and I’m doing other things about it. I don’t know what’s normal for you, so don’t compare yourself to me by any means.
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#2260

Postby Vany311 » Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:47 pm

Leah09! No worries keep fighting! You’re going to get through. I found that the more I read and investigagw about this condition the better we’ll be able to fight it. Remember you’re not your thoughts! Check out awaken into love on your tube or any video that can help you.
BrKH:
I understand about you not wanting to take medication. Sometimes is not for everyone and if you feel like you’ have been able to get better little by little without it then that’s great. Keep updating us about how you feel and share what has been helping for you. We all can benefit a little.
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#2261

Postby cric0624 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:42 am

Hi all, I've posted on this forum last February and it helped immensely. Quick backstory: I've been with my boyfriend for five years and he is the perfect human - our relationship is amazing and I couldn't ask for more. Last Feb I woke up in the middle of the night with this overwhelming anxiety that I didn't love him anymore, I had to leave him.. all the usual relationship anxiety things. I went to see a therapist, told my bf everything, and went on medication. It was a long, long road, but by the summer I was feeling more like my normal self, with some bumps in the road.

The past few weeks, I've been feeling very empty again. We go to the same college, and I dealt with a little relationship anxiety when we moved back to school, but realized it was general anxiety about being back at school that I pinned on my relationship. Now, though, this feels different. I truly feel empty. The other night I honestly truly told him I was afraid that this was it for our relationship and that I had to leave. We ended up talking things over and I didn't leave.

I just don't know what to do. Something about this time feels different, but I don't know why. Life in general is pretty stressful right now: school, his sister is in premature labor so we're all worried, I'm taking exams next week. My mind keeps telling me that this isn't relationship anxiety this time and that it's real, I just don't love him anymore. I don't want that to be true. I guess I'm just here for some support, and to share my story.
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#2262

Postby Vany311 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:47 am

Hi Cric0624
I’m sad to hear that youre feeling empty again. I was actually hoping you’ll say medication and therapy helped you because I’m about to get on medication and also therapy. I’m afraid it won’t work for me and might end up in the same hole I’m in.
Have you tried to talk to your doctor and it might be the medication and you need a new one. Do you feel empty or numb?
I think that if you felt like your normal self again after working on your anxiety then that means it’s not your relationship! Trust me I expericed that 6 years ago with my boyfriend of a year and left him to only find myself again in the same situation with someone else, and then someone else and then someone else and now I experiencing the same thing with my current boyfriend. Think and repeat this to your self. “It’s fear thats making you want to leave, not love”
You should look into doing a E-coursework Sheryl Paul. Google her and you’ll find her. She talk about relationship anxiety and is great. Also have you try mindfulness meditation? Exercising? Reading more books about this?
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#2263

Postby Rnsm » Thu Nov 16, 2017 12:07 pm

Hi guys :( I feel like for me I get better and then something happens and the doubts start again. It can trigger me from even a little argument. I'm not sure how long this will be, but I truly just wanna be happy with him
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#2264

Postby cric0624 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:07 pm

Vany311,
honestly medication helped a lot to calm me down in the beginning and bring me back to reality. therapy helped also, don’t let it discourage you! i stopped going since my therapist is at home and i am an hour and a half away at school. i think i need to go back to talk to her regularly. i do feel empty, and i’m trying to figure if it’s about life in general or just my relationship. either way i do know that my medication can do that. however, i am on escitalapram which has been working well - minimum side effects and i still feel emotions.

i am trying to think that because this has happened before that it isn’t my relationship, but it’s so hard when my mind tells me that this time is different. i read sheryl pauls blogs all the time! i don’t have the money for her ecourse right now but her blogs always help pull me back to reality, even if for a little while.

i have been trying to exercise lately but with a school schedule it is hard! i do need to try harder at that though. meditation is difficult because i’m rarely alone, and i also find that when i’m in my head i’m overwhelmed by my thoughts.

we are going home this week for thanksgiving and i am looking forward to spending time with both of our families and being home - last summer being home was when i truly felt back to my normal self again. heres to hoping its a good reset!
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