Fear of public speaking ruling my life.

Have you defeated the fear of public speaking?

Total votes : 37


Postby LouAnn17 » Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:43 am

When you have public speaking fear, you find yourself at a complete loss of words. When you suffer from this phobia, you feel that if you speak, others will know that you are nervous and thus they will surely laugh at your stupidity.
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Postby sakoz » Wed May 28, 2014 3:54 pm

Conditioning is pre-believing. Stage fright; fear of public speaking is pre-believing; predicting with or without a crystal ball.
Fear of flying is really fear of crashing; the result of believing.
Were you afraid of the bogyman when you were a child? You subliminally believed your concept of 'bogyman' was real.
See how early in life we were conditioned to believe (some) of our images are real? Recognition is the key to stopping.
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Postby DreamOn » Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:20 am

Hi, I'm a 16 year old girl and I have the EXACT same problem.

I'm not a shy person at all, but when it comes to public speaking, id rather take a broken bone.

Every bit of what you have said is so relatable.

My life is so ruled by this awful anxiety. You must hate it when people say, "just breath" "make eye contact" or "therapy". I know I do.

I have found out about his pill called Beta Blockers that is supposed to help a great deal with public speaking. I have still yet to try them, considering my pediatrician is opposed to the idea of giving them to me, but will likely convince him.

If you would like to talk to me about this, please reply back. The Lord knows I could use someone to talk about it with also.

Best wishes,
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Postby NReeve » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:37 pm

Hey Jardine, Public speaking is really hard! I joined my local high school debate team a few years ago just to overcome that fear. It was not a very easy thing for me to do. I am not the worst when it comes to public speaking but I definitely struggled at first. I have a friend named Haley who had it even worse. She was actually asked to speak in our church meeting (we often speak in our church) and literally cried when she found out. She wrote out the things that helped her out, she wrote about it but this site won't let me post it but if you want to read what helped her let me know, I think this could be useful to you.
Personally as a pretty religious person I find a prayer before speaking to be helpful, even if your not religious it makes you feel like you have someone backing you up and helps you to center your thoughts. Good luck! If you do end up in Cambridge (USA) come say hi to me!
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Postby DreamOn » Wed Jul 23, 2014 6:06 pm

How did you do it? Just curious, because I would love to get over mine.
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Postby rat123 » Thu Aug 07, 2014 9:59 pm

I don't fear public speaking at all. I fear I lose my text, that's what makes me nervous.
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Postby professor » Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:38 pm

Guy just to let you know. That fear is not such hard to overcome. I have had problem with speaking in general since I was stammering since I was 5 years old. You can only imagine what it was like to grop up and go to school with that. I was affraid of speaking, not only public speaking. Now I have overcome that and I give public speeches with ease. You need to realize that is just a skill, and it can be controled. It's like driving a bike, once you learn that it is easy, but you were scared when you started. Key thing is to change your attitude toward public speaking to positive one and to decide in your mind that you want to overcome that fear. After you do that you will need to embarrass yourself few times in front of your friends and family, but that is ok, right. When you speak, try to say just 5 words, then pause, take a deep breath and say another 5 words. It will work, it worked for me. Now I enjoy public speaking and have fun with it.

If I was able to overcome that, with stammering...you can do that also :D
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Postby ECoaches » Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:25 pm

Yeah.. At 17 I don't think it's ruined your life. Relax!
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Postby kendell5 » Fri Oct 24, 2014 11:17 pm

Face your fears head on. All of your friends and family have the utmost faith in you. Use that faith as a catalyst and launch pad to building up your confidence. I can completely sympathize with your fear. Mainly because my little brother suffers from it as well. Public speaking is one of the number one fears, and must people suffer from it. However, don't let it rule your life. Overcoming the fear of public speaking can lead to people looking at you as an authority and they'll follow you as a result of it. I stumbled upon a site entitled '1orator.' Type in the name in the Google search engine. The creator offers scientifically proven tips that can help cure your apprehension of public speaking. I was baffled at first by the somewhat odd advice, but when I implemented the strategies, it helped me and my brother grow significantly.
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Postby kendell5 » Fri Oct 24, 2014 11:19 pm

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Postby Todd » Mon Mar 16, 2015 9:29 am

I believe a good way to overcome a fear of public speaking is to actually become proficient at it. There are many coaching groups, speaking clubs etc. that you can practice and receive quality coaching. Put the focus in sharpening the skill rather than focusing on the fear.
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Postby Matt_TacticalTalks » Tue Jan 26, 2016 5:57 pm

This is very common. I struggled with it mightily even though I have no problem communicating in a one on one situation. To top it off I hated making mistakes and my internal critic would murder me if I did make 'em.

The common advice of "Just do it" just DIDN'T work for me. With each experience I was actually getting more nervous than the time before. But finally I actually was able to break through. It literally changed my life and it inspired me to write a book about it. It just came out on Sunday and it's free on Amazon (eBook) for a couple more days. Pick it up if you have this fear that limits your potential.

The book is called:
The Perfectionist's Guide To Public Speaking: How To Crush Fear, Ignite Confidence And Silence Your Inner Critic
Author: Matt Kramer

Hope it helps!
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Postby PaulKlee » Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:46 pm

I was never a good public speaker because I was never a good speaker. I found doing a video diary has helped me, it teaches you to communicate effectivity and eliminate bad habits. I have been doing it for 12 months now and as I have got better at it, it has increased my confidence.

Some days I have done nothing, so it forces me to ad lib for 5 minutes (which again is good for confidence).

I use 'How was my day (video diary)' which is an app I installed on my phone. Its a much smaller community that youtube..
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Postby 1maori » Fri Feb 12, 2016 2:58 am

jardine199 wrote:I am a 17 year old boy in my 2nd last year of secondary school. I have had a fear of public speaking for about 3 years now and i am sick of how stupid it is, yet it is controlling so many aspects of my life! I am very confident within my group of friends and family but when it comes to reading something out or giving a presentation infront of 5+ people i dont know well my heart beats like crazy, my voice deepens so low it can barely be heard and i find myself almost gasping for a breath after every couple of words. I have been told by all of my teachers and friends that i should be aiming high for university options, places like Cambridge and London School of Economics, but i feel myself holding back due to this ludacris phoebia. I don't want to continue life under the fear of a presentation coming up in school o having to read out a simple article in class. It's completely embarressing to have your friends see you like that when they expect you to be so confident. I dont know who to talk to about this and dont expect any radicle solutions from this wall post. I dont want to talk to my family about sorting out the problem but dont know how else to fix it?!i have read through so many posts by other people in my situation, yet it doesn't make me feel happier that im not the only one going through this, it makes me so angry that we feel trapped in this anxiety for the rest of our lives. I just wanted to get my thoughts out there and maybe have someone to talk to. I hate that i feel this is beating me, i really want to do something about it but i am scared that me facing my fear will end in humiliation and i'll backstep. VERY LOST ATM.

This post is about 5 years old, now, how have you been progressing with your public speaking?
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