somthing bad is happening to me

Postby lastflower161 » Sun Nov 20, 2011 12:41 am

i sudden't feel ike this, i think there might be something wrong.. before i wasen't like this before, was different, i.

i get angry and i want to hurt others, i want to break something, i cut my arm with a pair of scissor not too harm just to bleed, and it was so peaceful, touching and looking at my blood, its so red, clamed me down. the same with knifes i pick one up and i feel so beautiful, the knife i stroke and it makes me feel at peace i put it down and all hell breaks in my head, and i need to pick it back up to make me feel safe, and good.

i want to do things, that i didn't want before, part of me wants to life and get back to what i was before, and the other part wants to die, its so shameful.. i feel so lost and confused, i just don't underdstand, why i feel this way, soon it will be too late for me.. there will be nothing i can do to stop myself.. i will destory myself, before i fall again before i go back into the dark, yet at the same time i want to live, someone get me out.. i can't get out.. i feel so trapped in myself.. what do i do??
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#1

Postby jurplesman » Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:15 am

lastflower161 wrote:i sudden't feel ike this, i think there might be something wrong.. before i wasen't like this before, was different, i.

i get angry and i want to hurt others, i want to break something, i cut my arm with a pair of scissor not too harm just to bleed, and it was so peaceful, touching and looking at my blood, its so red, clamed me down. the same with knifes i pick one up and i feel so beautiful, the knife i stroke and it makes me feel at peace i put it down and all hell breaks in my head, and i need to pick it back up to make me feel safe, and good.

i want to do things, that i didn't want before, part of me wants to life and get back to what i was before, and the other part wants to die, its so shameful.. i feel so lost and confused, i just don't underdstand, why i feel this way, soon it will be too late for me.. there will be nothing i can do to stop myself.. i will destory myself, before i fall again before i go back into the dark, yet at the same time i want to live, someone get me out.. i can't get out.. i feel so trapped in myself.. what do i do??


Most of your unhappiness may not be the product of your mind or "childhood experiences", but more likely to be the result of an unhealthy body not being able to produce feel good neurotransmitters.

Please read:
Depression is a Nutritional Disorder
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#2

Postby crisorlando » Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:30 pm

I am not a doctor

But, are you suffering from rage bursts ? Trying to to things that you fell as wrong ? Or even, things that your parents told were wrong in the past ?

If so, please consult a neurologist and make some exams to check if there is nothing wrong (physical) with your nervous system. Some times areas in the brain that are responsible for impulsive actions and even for moral standards, they can stop working the usual way.

If everything goes alright, try thinking about the bursts, and things you are doing and think why, sometimes oppressed stuff can come
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#3

Postby rolywhite1 » Tue Dec 06, 2011 6:00 pm

Hi

Freud and Eastern philosophy refer to a part of your mind called the ego. At the moment, your ego is taking over as it can get worse unless you change what you are putting into and doing to your body.

Look at your activity levels, are you doing enough? Look at your sleep patterns and get to bed by 10pm for 5 nights, you'll be amazed what a difference that makes to your hormones. Not tired? Try getting up at sunrise and you will be.

Look at whether you are getting enough vitamins and minerals from your food, this affects your thoughts.

Try to open up and talk to people and look right into the centre of the problem and you'll find it's not as bad as you think.

Best wishes,
if you need help with these lifestyle changes, I can help, contact me through twitter.
@ginger_guru
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#4

Postby lastflower161 » Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:18 am

you tend to find opeing up isen't always a good thing.. i was told off by my parents beacuse they wanted to know how i felt, so i told them and they tell me off.. said i would get into trouble.. but i can't help how i feel.. its inside of me..

i don't sleep that well, coz at night i dance with my demons as it were, one way of putting.. things go wrong at night. its like.. i can see myself change and the other side of my personality comes out with force of fire. and battle wagging in my mind..

i do eat well thow.
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#5

Postby lastflower161 » Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:49 am

Alot of anger burst i just wanna break something, but i can't i bottle, think really starting to loose it now, when im angry if people mess with me, there in trouble, something inside snaps and i want to tar there head off, im never been aggressive, never, but from all the sh** in my life, now, its just there, nothing is enough, theres alot of vexing, blood boiling, i threatened my mum the opther day, she woulden't leave me alone, i was so angry i told her, if you don't back off, im gonna smack oyu in the face, she followed me all over the house, i grabbed a spachler and smacked the table, right in her face and next time if she don't back off that will be her face, i pushed her, and shouted then slamed the door in her face, she was following me around for days, insanity. She stop now, i put her in her place, and if she dares ever do that again, i will show no mercy.

its only beacuse is was my mother, i held myself back.. but it was really hard, punched the wall instead, brused my knuckles.


to the looking after the body bit, no i don';t, i don't care anymore.. its meaningless, i am hollow.
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