Biggiesize, i wish i could talk to you right now....

Postby N1k0gr3En » Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:47 am

I say this because i find it really hard to relate to people on this website sometimes....it seems like people simply fight with the urge to blaze....where i hardly can even think of doing so. i simply fight every day just with my visual disturbances/ feeling permanently stoned. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. every day i just feel foggy and stoned, even though i'm over a month quit. I've never experienced something like this before. and as strong as i am....this feeling brings me to tears almost every day. doctors don't understand. it seems like nobody does. i realize that a month isnt very long but GOD why does it have to be like this. the visual disturbances and brain fog makes me feel suicidal.

-the guy who is nearing the end of his rope
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#1

Postby Perilous3D » Tue Aug 21, 2012 5:04 am

Some of us, like myself, are fighting the urge to smoke to take away symptoms that we're having, like the one you're going through. If you're feeling spaced out and f***ed up why not be high, right? That's the essence of the struggle.

But stick with it, man. Ride it out! It's worth it, or so I'm told.

From what I understand it can take weeks if not months to get over that foggy feeling. Your brain has to readjust to its new reality, new perspective. That takes time...

Don't give up! Noobs like me are looking up to you to tell us how it is on the other side. It can't be all bad. Haven't you noticed any positive changes?
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#2

Postby Typo808 » Tue Aug 21, 2012 8:21 am

Hey N1,
How ya doing?

I guess I know the answer but want to hear it from you. Its tough, isn't it? Yeah, I would be lying if I said I don't think about smoking. I would be lying if I said my life is clear and I don't live in a fog. My biggest lie would be to tell you I am free from weed and will never smoke again.

What?! Why???

Because I don't know the future. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I DO know that when I come to that decision of wanting to smoke, I have to decide at that time what I will do. It is a daily choice to not smoke, not something I can decide now and have that decision last forever. Unfortunately, I am an addict. I will never not be an addict. But knowing that, I know I can save myself from myself.

There are many blessings that we have. Sometimes it is so hard to see them because of the pain we are going through, the suffering before the reward. But there is a reward. It might be a minute from now, it might be a year. It will come. Make it worth the price you are/will pay. Take your life back. Don't wait for it. TAKE IT.

May I make an example for you? Take a pencil/pen and a piece of paper. Draw a line, I don't know, make it 3 feet, make it a foot long if you will. THAT is your life. Now make a dot where you think your life has expired to so far. A third of the way, in the middle. Whatever it may be, THAT is where you are right now. Are you going to judge your life based on that one little dot? There is so much more to come. So much more to experience. What you are going through is that little dot. Don't give because of that little dot. You have so much more to live and experience.

Maybe that dot will eventually become a tiny line. So be it. But that is all it will ever be. Just a little dot in the long timeline that is your life.

Stay the course, N1. You can do it. Your life is worth so much more than that little dot or that little line. Maybe you can't see the other side that you are trying to get to. It does not mean it is not there. It is. It will come. Stay the course.

We all believe in you and that you can and will become what you aspire to be. In the Bill of Rights that has formed this once great nation, it states we are given the unalienable right to pursue happiness (among other things). It does not say we have a right to be happy, but have the right to pursue happiness. That is what we are doing, pursuing the happiness. For each of us this means something different. You don't have the right to be clear, but you do have the right to pursue it.

Come on, man, Don't give in. Never surrender. Never say die. easy to say, hard to do. But we have to try.

When we fall, how many times do we have to get back up?

Just ONE MORE TIME. . .every time.

You got this. You know how. You now just have to go through the motions to get it.
I have faith in you. Don't let yourself down, my friend, EVER.

Typo808
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#3

Postby starflower » Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:05 pm

Your post made me so sad :-( Is there nowhere in your area that offers drug counselling, just so you could find someone to talk to who will have some understanding of what you're enduring and might be able to offer some support and help? I can so understand how tempted you must feel to go back to the weed just to get some peace. But I genuinely believe the relief will be only be temporary as it would be for me, and in a very short time will only make you feel worse. Hold on tight, I wish I could offer more empathy or help but we are all here for you.
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#4

Postby N1k0gr3En » Tue Aug 21, 2012 7:08 pm

Its just really hard. It feels like,it will never go away. Like its playing games with my head. And just to be clear, i have NO urge to smoke again because i know that it wouldnt fix things. Its more just the lingering haze and messed up vision that feels permanent. The anxiety and depression simply comes from the lack of clarity. And it scares me, making me,feel like it wasnt the marijuana that did this to be, but something more sinister. And i have no comfort in all this. There are no drug quitting facilities where i live. And surely not for weed in specific. I have nobody to talk to. My girlfriwnd quit 3 months ago, and she didnt seem to experience this like i did, which makes me feel even worse. Once again, tears have begun to roll down my face, as i cant understand how or why this has happened to me. It just hit me once day...i had a really bad headache aftwr smoking weed...and decided to quit, and then like 2 days later, BAM! f***ed up reality.

Some days it seems better, but other days its worse than ever. Going back isnt an option to me....i know that i must give it time, but i dont think ill be able to live like this forever. Just a month has been harder than anything in my life
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#5

Postby Typo808 » Wed Aug 22, 2012 12:14 am

Sorry to hear, n1. Can't do much from where I am to help but stand by your "bedside" and comfort. It must be really hard to deal with. I won't patronize you by saying all of us have our demons to deal with. Yours sounds unusually difficult. I am trying to get a perspective on it.

Would you be willing to open a conversation regarding this? It that might be able give us a perspective on exactly what it is that's causing this. There are many here that are concerned and would like to help you.

Are you willing?

Typo808
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#6

Postby N1k0gr3En » Wed Aug 22, 2012 12:42 am

how do i open a conversation about it?

It seems to be from 2 old 2 b buzzed quotes, that biggiesize went through roughly the same type of thing.....seeminlgy....and GOD it would be amazing to get into contact with him.
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#7

Postby Typo808 » Wed Aug 22, 2012 12:53 am

We just do.

Start talking about it and don't hold anything back.

Have you done a search and sent a PM to biggie?

Here ya go.
http://www.uncommonforum.com/profile.ph ... le&u=35484

email and pm links.

Good luck
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#8

Postby Perilous3D » Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:17 am

CORRECTION OF BRAIN FOG

Most cases of brain fog respond well to a nutritional balancing program. If one is fortunate, the brain fog improves in a few weeks on a nutritional balancing program. All that may be needed is to clean up one’s diet. Just eliminating sugar, wheat, fruit and a few other foods from the diet can do a lot in some cases, often in matter of days, in fact. Also, be sure to drink 3 quarts of spring water daily, rest more, breathe more deeply and make other simple lifestyle changes.

In most cases, however, one must deeply remove many toxins from the brain, liver and kidneys. This can easily take several weeks, and in bad cases to several years. I don’t know that it is possible to know in advance how long healing will take, but almost everyone who follows a nutritional balancing program eventually feels much better. I advise clients to just begin a complete program to rebalance and strengthen body chemistry. To do this, read Introduction To Nutritional Balancing and other articles on this website. You may also begin a program using instructions on this website. Time tends to pass rapidly as one usually begins to feel a little better each day.

[URLs still not working. Google "drlwilson brain fog". It's the first link.]

Stay positive! With a little effort, you'll get over it eventually. Hope that helps a bit.
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#9

Postby viarba123 » Wed Aug 22, 2012 12:33 pm

Just eliminating sugar, wheat, fruit and a few other foods from the diet can do a lot in some cases, often in matter of days, in fact

NO. Fruits and wheat (wholewheat) should be in your diet as you need vitamins and food rich in neurotransmitters promoting substances. This advice is bad, sorry.

- watermelon & cranberries clears your system.
- bananas will give you potassium to settle your heart beats and avoid arrhythmia
- apples, where should I start ? :)

You need energy as your body will waste a lot.

No sugar (sucrose).
No saturated fats.

There are some common sense rules without being a nutritionist, leaving fruits out is not one of them.

I still have distorted vision, actually it's not the vision (the eyes) is your perception. It will go away as I got way better.
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#10

Postby Boguy » Wed Aug 22, 2012 3:44 pm

Sorry to hear what ur going thru. I can say that all of us have our own experiance quiting maybe different some hard some easy. Try to ride it out, search around the forum it may help, eat well, exercise, see a doctor, dont be hard on urself. Not saying that its easy, but ur lucky that you didnt gotten into the harder stuff not knowing what it will do to you. As months goes by Ul feel better.

Dont overthink it, relax and chill, exercise ur brain with quiz, games etc
Goodluck, and hope thinks become clearer for yea all da best.

Boguy :)
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#11

Postby 2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily » Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:28 pm

N1k0gr3En wrote:I say this because i find it really hard to relate to people on this website sometimes....it seems like people simply fight with the urge to blaze....where i hardly can even think of doing so. i simply fight every day just with my visual disturbances/ feeling permanently stoned. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. every day i just feel foggy and stoned, even though i'm over a month quit. I've never experienced something like this before. and as strong as i am....this feeling brings me to tears almost every day. doctors don't understand. it seems like nobody does. i realize that a month isnt very long but GOD why does it have to be like this. the visual disturbances and brain fog makes me feel suicidal.

-the guy who is nearing the end of his rope


Re: I guess what i'm looking for is someone to talk to. someone who understands.

I posted this article on one of your other threads, if you need to talk with a professional look at the contact info. Call him he is offering a Complimentary Telephone Evaluation, I would if I felt like you do. What do you have to lose?.

It will we worth the cost of a phone call to put your mind at ease...

Ronnie Freedman, Ph.D.
Anxiety Busters, Inc.
Depersonalization Treatment.com
:arrow: Office Telephone: 215-635-4700
:arrow: Office Hours: 10:00 AM – 10:00 PM, EST
:arrow: Complimentary Telephone Evaluation :D


Anxiety and Depersonalization Recovery Blog

Accelerated Mind-Body Treatment of Anxiety and Depersonalization
The Marijuana Connection to Depersonalization

by Ronnie Freedman Ph.D. on October 17, 2011


:arrow: http://www.ronniefreedmanphd.com/blog/?p=344

It’s the same story over and over again. Someone smoked marijuana with a group of friends and within 24 hours, usually sooner, they begin feeling unreal, depersonalized, foggy and detached. They are convinced that the marijuana had to have been laced with something that created this uncomfortable and distressing sensation. They worry that some sort of “damage” has taken place inside their brain. When they contact the people they partied with, they are amazed to learn everyone else is feeling fine. Now they become very confused, worried and fearful.

This is not an unusual course of events. I hear this story time and again, in almost exactly the same detail. The individual is positive they have caused damage to themselves even though they are the only one experiencing these symptoms. They often resort to “doctor shopping” and taking medications which do little to resolve the problem. Frustration enters the picture as feelings of depersonalization/derealization often intensify.

There is a simple explanation for this chain of events. Once understood, recovery is not difficult. It requires a simple yet specific process.

Let’s rely on basic science and facts:

(1) Personality- Some individuals are basically more reactive than others. These are the people who are intelligent, creative, analytical and generally more reactive to outside stimuli. They often experience a greater reaction to stimuli where others may not. They may react in a stronger manner to:
- Medications
- Alcohol
- Caffeine
- Nicotine
- Excessive Sugar
- Temperature Changes
- Bright Light
- Lack of Sleep
- Recreational Drugs

(2) Habit of Fearful Worry- The mind quickly wraps around whatever it is dealing with, to create a sense of closure, whether the facts are true or not. Therefore, if one has recently smoked marijuana and is feeling “strange” or “odd” afterward, the mind, by process of elimination, deduces that some damage must have occurred. Every free moment is spent in self-blame and fearful worry that permanent damage has occurred when nothing could be further from the truth.

(3) Fatigued Mind- The mind quickly becomes exhausted, due to the continuous loop of worried thoughts. A tired mind is far less resilient and naturally the longer this loop continues, the foggier the mind becomes. The person may even lose their appetite, develop insomnia and find it difficult to concentrate or socialize with friends and family. They might even take time off from work, in order to recuperate, when this is completely unnecessary.

Once they understand what this is, what it is not and what to do, they are home free. It is important to note that one is not ill, nor have they ever been, which is why medication is not required. In a reactive individual, medication often may exacerbate the problem. This is merely the product of a tired mind and nothing more. The marijuana may have been the trigger but it is not the only trigger.

Triggers of Depersonalization

- Constant and Lingering Stress
- Certain Medications
- Alcohol
- Traumatic Event, Shock
- Unresolved Issues
- Unresolved Anger
- Recreational Drugs

Resolution of Depersonalization Due to Marijuana Use

Resolution of this sensation is not difficult. It is based upon a Two-Fold Approach:

(1) Retrain the Brain- Learning how to refresh the fatigued mind. Thinking more productively. Through behavioral modification one is able to tame a mind that is overactive and unproductive.

(2) Food Therapy- Learning to use the correct foods, one already has in their own kitchen, to work for you rather than against you. Boosting Serotonin levels in the brain naturally and maintaining balanced blood sugar levels in the body to create a far less reactive mind and body. The correct foods will accelerate recovery when used in tandem with the proper behavioral modification techniques.

This two-fold approach is all that is required to overcome feelings of depersonalization, created by marijuana use, or any other trigger. It does not require a long or drawn out process at all. It does require that one follow the specific process, leading to rapid relief and permanent recovery.

Ronnie Freedman, Ph.D.
Anxiety Busters, Inc.
Depersonalization Treatment.com

http://www.anxietybusters.com

http://www.depersonalizationtreatment.com

:arrow: Office Telephone: 215-635-4700
:arrow: Office Hours: 10:00 AM – 10:00 PM, EST
:arrow: Complimentary Telephone Evaluation :D
2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily
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#12

Postby N1k0gr3En » Sat Aug 25, 2012 2:29 am

Viarba, your right. Its my perecption, andits miserable. Literally the worst feeling in the world. Im a month and a week now. Such a miserable process. I wish i could just be put into a coma for a year and wake up when its over. My every day life has become hell. And it was all in an effort to better my life. I wouldnt wish this on anyone. Not even my worst enemy. I dont feel like myself anymore. Not even a little bit. I hope that time will fix it, as i dont thinkthat i will be able to live like thi forever. This forum does help with coping a little bit, but i find myself so depressed all the time simply because i am not myself anymore. My perception is sh**, my cognitive thoughts are sh**. Thia equals out to my life being sh**. ugh. Nowhere to run. Nothing to feel better with.
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#13

Postby justin92 » Sat Aug 25, 2012 11:30 am

im 9 months clean and my distorted vision no longer exists. it just takes time to balance out, its a process you have to go through. it took about 6 months to see a good improvement in my perception. stick with it because it does get a lot better, it just sucks as to how long it takes to see. i recommend exercising because it will help your body recover. also eat a lot of fruit and drink a lot of water to cleanse yourself. good luck and ill be looking to hear more from you.
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#14

Postby N1k0gr3En » Sat Aug 25, 2012 9:57 pm

thanks for the looking out justin. this is all so weird. it seems like it happened so much faster than it was supposed to. my brain feels damaged. i feel stoned all of the time....i have stoner vision almost 24/7....and my brain feels really slow, which isnt normal for me. i have times where i completely zone out....like it just goes to sleep. i pray that it is just part of the recovery process. i feel dull, foggy, anxious,depressed, and very much stuck inside my own head. even at 5 weeks...i feel like sh**. worst feeling i have had in my entire life i want to thank everybody on this site for the kind words, as you are the only people who put up with it. even my own mother just tells me to go on medication or something, which i know IS NOT the right answer for this, and would only make everything worse.
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