How stop this addiction?

Postby overexposed » Fri Jan 11, 2013 2:04 pm

I have an addiction to starving if it makes any sense, it's pretty much the same as people who care compulsive eaters except I'm a compulsive starver seriously, there is nothing in the world that makes it better, I have tried everything, whenever I get stressed I stop eating, when I fail I stop eating, when I'm sad I stop eating, when I'm too hurt I can't cry instead I stop eating and the worst part is that it really helps, it numbs my emotional pain and it numbs the stressed.... but soon enough my body get exhausted and collapses...

I would say that starving to me is almost like smoking for others, I don't like smoking though, but it's it works almost the same way.

How can I stop this addiction because it's really killing me, I have been this way since I was a child and it feels almost impossible to stop it...

Thanks in advance.
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Postby thepixiechick » Sun Jan 13, 2013 10:49 am

You need to get some help, see a therapist. Anorexia is a serious mental illness and you really need to get some help to try to find your way out. Good luck.
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Postby somedutchguy » Mon Jan 14, 2013 5:39 pm

It's indeed a good idea to see a therapist, someone who can help you to see why you’re doing it and how to replace it with a good habit.

I I’m not expert on this topic (I think), but I’ll give it a try, maybe it gives you some new insights, a new way of thinking about things. :)

I think, it’s because you want to punish yourself. You think:”it’s my fault I failed”, “I feel bad because it’s my fault the situation turned out like this” etc. And on the other hand, it distracts you from the real pain (stress, sadness, feeling of failing etc) because you think you can’t control the situation you’re in.
So, when you feel bad, you stop eating. With that, you punish yourself and you distract yourself. Maybe it’s only one of the two, or both, that’s a thing you have to find out for yourself.

Some people cut their wrists (distraction because it hurts a lot and the body releases pain relieving chemicals), other people eat a lot (eating distracts and releases a chemical which makes you feel good, and it’s also a sort of punishment, making yourself gaining weight)

Starving yourself is an easy way to forget about your current problem (stress, pain of whatever) but you must realize first that it’s not the answer. But I’ll think you already know that ;). So, you have to find another, less destructive way, to deal with your emotions. You need to get a new habit. You get into an negative emotional issue and you get a new habit do deal with it which solves the issue and brings you to the next level, right?

Step 1: notice when you get in that state of not-eating.
Step 2: you’re right at the beginning of that state, how do you feel, what do you think, why do you think that?
Step 3: What is your Goal? I guess feeling happy?
Step 4: Write down all the alternatives how achieve your goal.
Step 5: Look at your list. Which one is, when you logically look at it, the most effective?
Step 6: Look at step 3, what was your goal again and when you look at step 5, what is the most effective way to achieve your goal?
Step 7: use all your willpower en motivation to achieve your goal.

Because your body en mind got used to the situation (emotional pain  not-eat-mode) it will take you for at least 30 uninterrupted days to replace your old habit for a new one.
Yes your mind will tell you thing like:”no, I can’t I’m too weak for that” or “I can’t, it’s just impossible” or, “I can’t handle all this pain, need instant relieve, NOW!”. It’s hard to ignore all those demotivating thoughts, but in 30 day’s… they’re all gone :)

Why wouldn’t you invest 30 day in something that could be the solution of happiness?
If you don’t know how to solve problems, ask family, friends, teachers, a psychologist, google etc. they will come with some logical alternatives.

For example:
Step 1: you had a big fight with your best friend
Step 2: You feel bad, you hate yourself, you feel unloved, you feel lost etc etc You think: I’m so stupid, why did I did this of this that makes her mad? What is wrong with me? I don’t deserve a friendship like that? Why you think that: because you think you’re not good enough, you’re dumb or whatever. You feel unhappy and you want to feel happy again
Step 3: Your goal is feeling happy. You’ll become happy when you are friends again.
Step 4: Go to your friend and talk about the situation, talk about how you feel, how she feels and why. Write her an e-mail how you feel and how you want things to be. Ask your mother what she thinks about the situation etc.
Step 5: Ask your mother what she thinks about the situation and go to your friend’s house to talk about the situation and what you want (being friends again)
Step 6: You want to feel happy… if you talk with your mother about it and after this you’ll talk about it with your best friend, I will gives you happiness.
Step 7: use all your willpower en motivation to achieve your goal. Look at your goal, and stay on your path, even if it’s almost an impossible task to do.

If you learn to solve your emotional issues in a different, less destructive way, you'll be much happier and your eating disorder, it's gone! :)

I hope it will help you, even if it’s just a tiny bit, I’ll be happy for you :)
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Postby Old Timer » Tue Jan 15, 2013 1:43 pm

I agree that you may want to find a good therapist who has experience working with eating disorders. Anorexia, true anorexia, is not something that is easy to fight. The longer you toy with it the worse it is to conquer.

There is no simple formula to follow and no simple answer as to what is causing your pain. Everyone is different and needs individual help. The one common theme is that it is not about the food and not eating, it is about the emotions and your self image.

There are a lot of good books that are helpful. One really good one is Eating in the Light of the Moon. I can't think of the name of the author off hand. Many of the books about changing your thinking patterns have helped me too, but I am no where near recovered.

Therapy helps but in the end the true answer has to come from inside. I have no idea how to connect with that answer, some people are able to do that more easily than I have. It is possible to recover but the longer you wait to get help the lower your chances become.

I hope you have better luck than I have.
Take care,
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Postby leonamccauley » Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:35 am

It seems like you are having a serious mental illness, you need to see a therapist soon. You need to convince your mind that starving is not something that can help in reliving from stress.
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