What are you listening to right now?

#5745

Postby Candid » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:16 pm

desperate788 wrote:... telling stranger women that they are beautiful is risky. The reaction may be severe.


So I believe. But if a woman you compliment gets mad at you or says nasty things, it's about her, not about you. Trouble is, if that's what you anticipate it's more likely to be what you get.

Let's start with imagining it, and imagining it going well. It doesn't have to be compliments, just imagine talking to women, feeling confident about it, losing your shyness and fear because the conversation is good. That's why I recommend special-interest groups. When there's a focus that's neither you nor the person you're talking to, you can forget yourself in the conversation.

People are always beautiful when they talk about the things that matter to them, have you noticed that? So you're going to have to get interested in something then find other people who have the same interest. Anything. The bonus of finding an interest or a quirky hobby is that it actually gives you pleasure even when it doesn't involve being with other people.
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#5746

Postby desperate788 » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:19 pm

Women seem more beautiful to me lately. There is beauty in most of them. It was always a struggle for me to talk to women a struggle that makes the process unenjoyable
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#5747

Postby Candid » Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:17 pm

desperate788 wrote:Women seem more beautiful to me lately. There is beauty in most of them.


This is a great start.

It was always a struggle for me to talk to women a struggle that makes the process unenjoyable


And yet your favourite person -- your mother -- is a woman. So you do know how to talk to women.

It's no good thinking "oh my god, this is a woman I'm talking to!!!" You have to generate the feeling of "this is an old and trusted friend I'm talking to".

The big mistake is having some expectation that talking should lead to dating should lead to sex should lead to marriage... it's a good way to crush your chances. There's no Success or Failure in talking to people, being kind, treating them as you like to be treated. Then if a spark ignites, you lose all your inhibition.

It may help you to know it's women who do the choosing. When we like (as in like-like) a man, we'll make sure he gets the message.

So all you have to do is see and be seen, talk and listen, be the sweet sensitive person I know you to be, and... wait.
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#5748

Postby desperate788 » Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:24 pm

Yes patience. .things may get better. I was in a much worse condition few years earlier. The days at urfa my god was terrible an adventure that lasted at mental hospital. Issues about shyness may get better too by time who knows?
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#5749

Postby Candid » Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:33 pm

The trick is to imagine things are better right now, and getting better all the time. Imagination doesn't do patience. Enough with patience. We want the experiences and the things we want, and we want them right now. With a good enough imagination you can enjoy whatever you want, at any time.

Yes, I know all about terrible adventures in mental hospitals. Obviously things are better than they used to be 100 years ago, when patients spent their days in straitjackets and had buckets of cold water thrown over them, but I still consider modern psychiatry primitive and brutal. I almost think a bucket of icy water preferable to some of the head drugs inflicted on vulnerable people.

Issues about shyness may get better too by time who knows?


Being locked up and labelled crazy doesn't do much for self-image, does it? But you can put that behind you now. You can set fire to all the bad memories you have, the times when you've felt rejected or a failure.

Imagine things better, my friend. Imagine having it all, everything you want, have worked for, and most certainly deserve. Shyness can't mess you up a minute longer, not after you get
I'm confident and happy
firmly fixed in your mind.
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#5750

Postby desperate788 » Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:38 pm

Allright..
I'm confident and happy..
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#5751

Postby Candid » Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:41 pm

Yay!
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#5752

Postby desperate788 » Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:44 pm

:)
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#5753

Postby desperate788 » Mon Nov 12, 2018 8:52 am

https://youtu.be/K9Qs8-BkiLw
good song but gay singer..
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#5754

Postby Candid » Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:24 am

Does that matter?
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#5755

Postby desperate788 » Tue Nov 13, 2018 6:22 am

No
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#5756

Postby desperate788 » Sat Nov 17, 2018 3:32 pm

Avenir/Louane
love french stuff lately
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#5757

Postby desperate788 » Sat Nov 17, 2018 8:30 pm

desperate788 wrote:Avenir/Louane
love french stuff lately

:roll: :roll: :roll:
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#5758

Postby desperate788 » Mon Nov 19, 2018 12:11 pm

youngstown
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#5759

Postby desperate788 » Mon Nov 19, 2018 12:26 pm

what about a party?
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