Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)

#60

Postby reckoning » Tue Apr 17, 2018 9:02 am

Yep for sure. I think it's so good to do this as it takes one away from the ego crap, it can move you right out of 'poor me'. You have a big heart Bagobones. I'm inspired by your actions. Keep going, keep posting. cheers Liz
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#61

Postby reckoning » Tue Apr 17, 2018 9:05 am

Bagobones wrote:My theory is that if you give your brain bigger issues to work with than the paws, it will go away..


The quote didn't go in with my previous post but that is what I was referring to.
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#62

Postby Bagobones » Tue Apr 17, 2018 3:34 pm

Thank you Liz, and you too.. Your inspiring too! :)
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#63

Postby olskoolru » Wed Apr 18, 2018 6:53 pm

netty28661 wrote:Hi olskoolru

It's ages since I've been on here, but had an EM notification that this amazing thread is still active & helping people!

How are you doing? It's a good few years since we were going through the worst of withdrawal.

It'll be 6 years this month since I quit & it still feels good!!!!

Jannette
x


Hi Netty!

Yes, it’s been quite a while and congrats on the 6 years! I just decided to go back and read some of my old posts for inspiration, because although things have been 100% better than they were when I was in withdrawal, we’ll always be addicts. Gotta stay on my toes.

Thanks for the note!

Ru
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#64

Postby olskoolru » Wed Apr 18, 2018 7:00 pm

HDog455 wrote:I especially agree with the following from the article posted above - I've been pushing these two points for years:-

"Go with the flow. Withdrawal symptoms are uncomfortable. But the more you resent them the worse they'll seem. You'll have lots of good days over the next two years. Enjoy them. You'll also have lots of bad days. On those days, don't try to do too much. Take care of yourself, focus on your recovery, and you'll get through this."

"Remember, every relapse, no matter how small undoes the gains your brain has made during recovery. Without abstinence, everything will fall apart. With abstinence everything is possible. "


Reading this again gave me chills. Although I am light years away from where I was in 2013, I’ll never, ever forget that year. It was life altering. So much pain, so much uncertainty, fear, and feeling like I’d rather die than go through it.

I’m on the other side now and can’t believe how much my life has changed for the better. In hindsight I can clearly see that I was a totally different person when I was in the perpetual influence of weed. sh** is crazy.

Uncommon Forum literally may have saved my life. Stay strong HDog!

Ru
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#65

Postby TonyTheCat » Wed Apr 18, 2018 7:26 pm

Hey, Ru, sounds very inspiring!

I love to read such kinds of posts, they are like a fuel for my determination to keep going (gone not so far, just 7 weeks). Thanks for coming back and writing this!

For all who's suffering at the moment - it will become easier! Even me on the early stage started to notice the progress.
And for all who has gone their way through hell - please, keep posting occasionally. Really appreciate it.
Strength and patience to all!
Tony
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#66

Postby HDog455 » Wed Apr 18, 2018 9:35 pm

olskoolru wrote: in 2013, I’ll never, ever forget that year. It was life altering. So much pain, so much uncertainty, fear, and feeling like I’d rather die than go through it.

I’m on the other side now and can’t believe how much my life has changed for the better. In hindsight I can clearly see that I was a totally different person when I was in the perpetual influence of weed. sh** is crazy.

Uncommon Forum literally may have saved my life. Stay strong HDog!

Ru


Hey Ru,

It's really awesome to see that you are still a regular contributor to this forum. Unfortunately, I didn't discover it until a couple of months after I quit cold turkey and reckon that this place would have helped me quit a lot earlier had I known about it. I drop in occasionally to see who's saying what and sometimes also add my two cents worth.

I'm still a strong believer in the power of positive thinking as the best way forward for addicts who are genuinely ready to quit for good and embrace all of the many great aspects of life without drugs.
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#67

Postby dhae2604 » Thu Apr 19, 2018 4:03 pm

olskoolru wrote:
HDog455 wrote:"

Reading this again gave me chills. Although I am light years away from where I was in 2013, I’ll never, ever forget that year. It was life altering. So much pain, so much uncertainty, fear, and feeling like I’d rather die than go through it.


Ru


Reading this gives me hope. I can relate to the uncertainty, pain, fear, & the suicidal thoughts. 10+ mos. still having symptoms. hope youre doing okay & good.
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#68

Postby olskoolru » Sun Apr 22, 2018 4:31 am

Hi Dhae,

If I had known, while in my 10th month, that i would be feeling the way I do now, it would have made it ten times easier. But I didn’t and that was the blessing. It may sound a bit strange, but the only way I was ever going to make it out without relapsing was to endure pain and agony beyond what I thought I could endure. If it was easy, I’d probably be brain dead and smoking right now.

As hard as what you are going through is, to make it to month 10 is absolutely not easy. At 10 months I was miserable. It felt like it was never going to end since 10 months is such a long time. But relatively speaking, 10 months is just a drop in the bucket. And it’s worth it.

Stay strong!

Ru
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#69

Postby helenadoc » Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:04 pm

olskoolru wrote:Hi Dhae,

If I had known, while in my 10th month, that i would be feeling the way I do now, it would have made it ten times easier. But I didn’t and that was the blessing. It may sound a bit strange, but the only way I was ever going to make it out without relapsing was to endure pain and agony beyond what I thought I could endure. If it was easy, I’d probably be brain dead and smoking right now.

Stay strong!

Ru


Hi OSR! I wanted to say that your posts are so inspirational and it gives me hope to carry on with this nightmare. Your words are like a balm to my soul :)

I am at 9 months and a half and i feel like sh**, like i'm stagnating in this state of mind, but when i read your posts and answers to peoples questions is like a breath of fresh air.

You are a true example of victory in this battle with addiction and i thank you for coming back every now and then and keep our spirit up.

All the best,
DD!
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#70

Postby dhae2604 » Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:20 pm

Hi Helena, How are you? Im at 10.5mos. ahmm just 1month ahead of you. whats your most concern so far? were lucky we have longterm quitter like osr that guide us.

hope you are all doing great people
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#71

Postby helenadoc » Sun Apr 22, 2018 2:52 pm

dhae2604 wrote:Hi Helena, How are you? Im at 10.5mos. ahmm just 1month ahead of you. whats your most concern so far? were lucky we have longterm quitter like osr that guide us.

hope you are all doing great people


Hello. I'm not "normal" yet, but i'm kinda fine. I sleep well, although i dream a lot and i remember everything, it's annoying and sometimes exhausting. My cognitive state has improved massively: since i've quit i remember lots of things, even things from when i was high, which i couldn't before. I study more easily now, and i think faster.

I still have anxiety everyday. Not all day, but it is there. I must admit i am not as tense as 2 months ago when i felt all my muscle contracted all the time. But i get scared very very easily by the smallest thing possible.

My mood is sh**. I am angry all the time, i don't enjoy anything, i don't feel anything positive. Last night i had 5 minutes of almost bliss. The last time i felt that was at the begining of february :))
This is what i hate most, this depression, anhedonia, flatness of feelings...i don't know how to call it.
But, i am not crying that much anymore which i think is good.

I am like this since 2 months ago. In february i started to feel my mood rising up day by day, but i had 2 panick attacks that ruined everything.

So, thats that. I'm moving forward. This forum is very helpful :) it is hard because you always have that question in mind: what if i'm different and i'll never recover? There are a lot of what ifs and buts, and i think everyone around here has them.
I don't know about you, but i feel this crazy need of reassuring, of someone telling me that it will be fine in the end, that i have not lied to myself all this time about my feelings and pleasures.

The harder thing is seeing that the time passes and you feel like you had done nothing. I look back and i feel like i lost 9 months of my life feeling like sh**, not living it, crying, questioning everything about me and my life, and all for what: for the stupid thing i've done, smoking my brains out for almost 3 years.
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#72

Postby dhae2604 » Mon Apr 23, 2018 3:16 pm

yes Helena can relate. I think its the anxiety is the reason for this negative emotions. All I can say is im purely f*cked. But i notice im having some "good" days where symptoms is not so intense. Then there are days symptoms is intense. Awhile ago I get anxiety attacks again. I get nauseated when my symptom is attacking. I get this nausea from the start i experienced this withdrawal. But nausea is bearable compare to the mental symptoms. I remember the things I endure while typing this. Its painful u know, that I really dont want to remember it. Mostly the anxiety I get that Is really hard to explain. I get depressive thoughts that is hard to explain which I think is caused by anxiety. Anyway we can do this. Hope you all okay people
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#73

Postby helenadoc » Mon Apr 23, 2018 3:58 pm

I must say that is a good thing we remember. I think is vital. My psychiatrist wanted me to follow a treatment with an antidepressant for a month,to help me ease the transition. I refused any kind of medicated help. I only took one diazepam every now and then the first 3 4 months when the insomnia was so bad that i got very very tired and i just wanted to sleep just for one night from begining to end, without waking up several times or having nightmares.

If we would forget what we are going through, then what's the point? We would say ok, it was easy, i forgot all the pain and suffering, I CAN DO IT AGAIN. And that is not the goal. We HAVE TO REMEMBER in order to keep in mind that smoking took us there, in the land of seemingly endless suffering. I don't want to go through this ever again and that is what is keeping me from smoking, or abusing other drugs for that matter. If i'd forget this i'll probably start smoking again.

I must admit that in my mind is a dark thought: if i'm not getting better i'll start using again. This is the first time i stopped and i don't know the reverse of the medal: if i smoke again, will i feel better? This question haunts me in the darkest days.

So, it's a good thing to remember. Otherwise all this is for nothing :)

Keep going and hope to see a light at the end of the tunnel, for everyone :D
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#74

Postby dhae2604 » Mon Apr 23, 2018 4:49 pm

thanks helena for the reply. sorry for my english im from asia. Yes I wont forget the thing I endure. & I cannot forgive myself If I done this again (smoking). Dont wanna start with this again. Yes we should avoid medication. the withdrawal from those benzos & ADs are brutal also. & I know there are people get adverse reaction from those. using only 1-3 weeks & they get withdrawal. ( all these narcotics & psycho active meds can f*cked up even in short use) but I have small amount prescribed xanax & ADs which I will use only in case of intense symptoms. Which I resist to use awhile ago while im having I think is not full blown panic attack. I think its anxiety attack. where im in a public bus I get cold, muscle shaky, nausea, fear and the feeling that I need to exit ASAP the vehicle. Kind of hard to control the fear while at the moment of anxiety how hard I try breathing exercise etc. yes Insomnia is brutal also. But somedays i get long quality sleep. But mostly there are days where symptoms is intense, I get these light interrupted short sleep.
actually I really get kinda mad if I read hear other people say. I smoke for __ years then I quit cold turkey. I dont get withdrawals,
its all in your head,
weed withdrawal is walk in the park etc. HA! I feel I kind of inferior haha. Sorry For my ranting here I get kinda depressed I get anxiety Again ahile ago. but Ill keep remember its a part of healing. always keep updated people ;)
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