1st day of my new life

#315

Postby Dalie » Sat May 28, 2016 5:59 pm

I should say that such thing as economy doesn't influence me at all. Of course giving up smoking has a great economical effect, but it can't help me at all. I hope your example will make me to do it and I will try to get rid of this addiction
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#316

Postby Anewchapter » Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:21 pm

Vape Addict wrote:Things have been really awful to this year so I haven't posted for a while . . . My wonderful, amazing, incredibly brave husband died just over 2 weeks ago after a 14 year battle against an evil incurable cancer. He died at home with me and our children holding him and telling him how much we loved him.

I was offered weed the day after he died and I didn't even think, I just said no, I know that I never ever want to go back to that addiction. Being stoned all the time solves nothing, it just makes life even more sh** than it is - life is hard, for lots of people, but getting wasted all the time does not make it easier - it just makes it even harder to deal with when you are in denial about just living and existing.

I've never know pain this intense - I feel totally broken and lost - but I'm trying to stay strong for our teenagers and trying to stay true to his love for me and not go off the rails - so lucky to have a love like we had and 24 happy years together with a man who meant - and still means - the world to me.

If you're trying to quit right now stop mucking around and just do it - hard, but gets easier - after 2 and a bit years it is not something I would ever do again - start living instead of existing in a haze.

So sorry for your loss, va, my thoughts are with you x
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#317

Postby Vape Addict » Sun Jul 31, 2016 12:52 pm

Thank you - oh God losing my wonderful husband hurts so bad . . . But I'm not remotely tempted to go back to being the complete stoner that I was.
Don't miss being addicted at all, even with this pain, so glad that I actually stopped - for good - can't go back to that person that I was. Want to numb this pain but know that it doesn't work and that life basically sucks and is hard work but if you are lucky enough to have life then you need to take the best care of yourself that you possibly can.
Dope makes everything worse because you think that you are beating reality but you're not and you never will . . . Better to just deal with it and not get trapped into that downward spiral of waiting for your dealer to deliver, honestly, don't miss that aspect of my addiction in any way, shape or form - so very glad to be free from that, at least.
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#318

Postby Vape Addict » Tue Oct 04, 2016 4:10 pm

I haven't been on here for a while - Furtive, I'm so sad to see that you're getting back to your old ways, especially with a baby on the way. Don't do it!!! Quit now, enjoy your baby, your family, you never know what's round the corner and you don't want to miss a minute.

My 15 year old daughter was rushed to hospital in an ambulance yesterday after having a fit and fainting at school, watched her have 2 more fits in the hospital, loads of tests, everything clear and she is at home now - they think it was stress and grief related. Doesn't that make you think about life? It is so short and you don't ever know what is coming at you so don't waste it being off your head - nearly 3 years quit now and totally the best thing I have ever done (also one of the very, very hardest).

To anyone trying to quit - you can do it! - it will be super hard but so worth it. I wish I hadn't wasted and lost some of those moments when my girls were small because I was just chasing my next hit . . . I regret it now . . . Giving up was honestly and truly one of the best things I ever did and I don't miss it :D
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#319

Postby hsal » Wed Oct 05, 2016 11:48 am

My heart and prayers go out to you. I am sorry for your loss . Your blog has been an inspirational one . Keep us updated from time to time .
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#320

Postby netty28661 » Fri Oct 07, 2016 10:27 am

Hi vape, I know you will still mourning & my thoughts are with you! I can't believe it's 3 years since you quit, that's amazing. Can you imagine how much worse it would be if you were still addicted, you would never have been able to cope, at least you are in the present for your daughters sakes & of course your own.

Much love
Jannette
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#321

Postby Vape Addict » Sat Dec 31, 2016 4:17 pm

Well amazingly it's been 3 years now since I quit - the best thing I ever did for myself - no regrets about quitting whatsoever, just wish that I had quit sooner.

Even though this has been a truly horrendous year I haven't wanted to get stoned again. I've now not had any alcohol for 2 months either and it makes my feelings and thoughts a hell of a lot easier to deal with. Definitely helps with the agonising grief for my wonderful husband too.

It seemed so hard at the start of my quit and it was a couple of years before I started to notice all of the benefits but now I know that I NEVER want to go back to my addiction. One of the best benefits is the sense of being free from the constant craving to get high, free from dodgy dealers, wasted money, wasted time . . .

To everyone looking at quitting for the New Year just remember that you CAN do it, don't except it to be easy but just stay true to yourself and remember all of the reasons that you want to quit. Be kind to yourself and accept that some days will be truly awful and others will seem okay. Keep busy and gradually you'll find that the desire starts to go, that each time you say no it gets easier to form the habit of not being a stoner, the PAWS will settle and you will be properly glad that you have taken the decision to free yourself. Good luck!
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#322

Postby JoeBloggs » Sat Dec 31, 2016 10:58 pm

Vape Addict wrote:One of the best benefits is the sense of being free from the constant craving to get high, free from dodgy dealers, wasted money, wasted time . . .


hear hear

i have not been drinking alcohol too which really helps though i do eat a little alcohol (!) say in a dinner or a bit of christmas cake.
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#323

Postby Hubcap » Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:53 am

You are not alone. Today is day 1 for me. I have been using pot as a crutch for longer than I can remember. Fear is all I can feel right now. ang in there, you ARE NOT ALONE.
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#324

Postby awmm301116 » Sun Jan 01, 2017 2:03 pm

Hubcap wrote:You are not alone. Today is day 1 for me. I have been using pot as a crutch for longer than I can remember. Fear is all I can feel right now. ang in there, you ARE NOT ALONE.


Change is scary.
Life stoned is more frightentng.
You've made a brave choice, Hubcap.


Happy New Year.
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#325

Postby netty28661 » Mon Jan 02, 2017 5:04 pm

Hi vape, its always lovely to hear from you. I feel like I helped you? I know what you've been through & the incredible battle your wonderful husband had with the evil thing that is cancer, I cannot begin to imagine the feelings & grief you have been through this year. I've seen the same with a very close friend aswell.

You are an incredible woman & I wish you & your daughters a happy new year, it will be strange but you will carry on healing.

All the best
Jannette xxx
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#326

Postby Vape Addict » Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:25 pm

Hi Jannette - yes, you helped me a lot. Your kind words of encouragement got me through the dark days at the start of my quit and your words of wisdom always help. So very much appreciated - thank you xx
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#327

Postby Vape Addict » Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:26 pm

And wishing you and your family a very happy new year.

Also, happy new year to everyone trying to quit - persevere and you can do it - you won't regret it!
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#328

Postby Hopefulforchange » Wed Jan 04, 2017 5:02 am

Thank you for this blog, and my condolences go out to you and your family. Your perseverance and strength to get through this hard time is inspiring.

As an 8 year daily heavy smoker, reading this is very comforting in times of distress. I'm on day 3, I can't sleep but I am determined to beat this.
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#329

Postby Vape Addict » Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:49 am

Hopefulforchange - it is sooo hard at the beginning but know that you CAN do it and it WILL get easier. I sometimes go back to read the start of my blog and I can feel the desperation and downright terror when I started my quit.

3 years down the line and I know I'll never start again - life is so much easier to cope with when you're not on a totally different page to most of the world.

The first 3-6 months are definitely the worse - dope takes 3 months to get out of your system because it's stored in your fat cells - you'll be so proud of yourself when you get to that 3 month point and it will help you to continue.

Lots of luck!!!!
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