Am I a mind control victim or being ridiculous?

Postby Fuzzywinter » Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:42 am

I was born in Russia, my family was broke. I began begging on the streets at the age of 4. My mom was a heavy drinker, my sister was never around and I only saw my brother for one week throughout my whole life. He was always in jail. When he got out, he seemed happy but then he tried to shank a woman with a baby in her hands for her purse and ended up in prison again. My dad was paralyzed from military but he was sober and was able to take care of me somewhat. He died when I was about 5 years old. I was really happy when my sister told me that I will never see me him and won’t have to listen to him. Couple of hours later I realized that I will NEVER EVER see him, and I cried for days. Time went by…
So as I was begging for years, the government saw this poor little blonde girl walking on the streets day after day, they finally took action. I was 7 years old and second week in first grade. I got to class around 6:30am when my teacher told me that I was “sick” and she needs to take me to the hospital. I didn’t know any better and went with her. I was in the hospital for about a month I am not sure really. It’s a blur, but they fed me vitamin C most of the time, not sure what other stuff was. One day my mom came into the hospital with all of my belonging and she gave them to me saying that I am going to leave her for a bit, but we will see each other again soon. We said our good byes.
Next morning around 6am a police officer came into the room and took me by my hand, I grabbed my stuff and we headed towards the bus station. I walked by my house and I knew something was very wrong, and I wanted to ask officer if I could say good bye or just see my family for the last time. But I just kept going. We were greeted by my teacher and another girl at the bus station. Officer left us and we were headed away from my town for the next 6 hours. We arrived in a different city and my teacher led us to this facility. Brick walls everywhere, barb wire on the top, security cameras everywhere, women and men dressed in sharp police outfits. My teacher left with the other girl. I was led by 2 nurses looking ladies into a shower room. They told me to put my bag safely somewhere, with all the other bags from other kids. I did as I was told.
I had long beautiful hair all the way down to my donkey, and they shaved it all off within 3 minutes. I was crying, I didn’t know what was happening to me. They told me to get into the shower. There was no knob to turn the water on but I didn’t need to because they hosed me down in the corner. I was pressed against it, whelping. After that I don’t remember much, I was left alone in a locked room that had one slit on top of it to look through, but I couldn’t reach it because I was too short. I don’t think I interacted with anyone for weeks or even months. They would slide the food in for me… but one day! They let me out muahaha! I came out like a shy rat, there were so many kids… There were actually kids! I couldn’t believe it, I was playing with them. It was so amazing for me. I started sucking up to the officers and tried to behave myself because I knew if we didn’t behave we would be humiliated and beaten in front of everyone as an example.
Facility I was in was a correction/separating facility for kids with no parents. There were mental kids, murder kids anyone you can imagine were all stuck in one place until they were put into correct ones. The places was heavily monitored, we were only allowed to be outside ONCE a week for 2 hours. It wasn’t even being outside. You saw the sky above you but bricks and razor wire around you. Anyways, I was out of that dark closet and I was happy. After 3 months, I was sent to a regular orphanage for kids with no parents. As I was getting ready I tried to look for my bag but it wasn’t where I put it, it was nowhere to be found… I was so shocked that I wasn’t getting sent home like I was promised.
SO much trauma and tears during the first month, I barely ate, I was crying nonstop everyone was actually being sweet to me and asked if I needed anything but all I wanted was to go home. I was a shitty student, always a trouble maker. American family came and adopted me and another girl with me. I never thought I would be adopted, the caretakers even said that they should reconsider because there are many students than I was. Adoption policy says that if the kids’ parents are alive and if I was not put for adoption then the parent who is adopting has to find the legal guarding to ask for permission. My mom was alive and I wasn't allowed to be adopted. My new mom was persistent going through with this, she didn't’t listen to anyone or anything and even looked for my mom all over my town but she couldn't find her to get permission. I was allowed to be adopted anyways somehow.
After I got to America I was put into homeschooling right away, from middle school through high school. Am I a victim of mind control? Deep down I feel like I am. I had many child traumas and abuse happen to me before the orphanage but not after or even here in America. No split personalities or anything haha. I had to go to a psychologist for 4 years to deal with built up anger and attachment disorders but now I am healthy and learned to love again. Seems like this whole life has been laid out for me and planned for something bigger, but I am not sure what yet!

Oh and also one last thing, when I was being adopted my mom said that I had my birth certificates and one of them said I was born September 1st and another one said October 1st. I was confused and told her that throughout my whole life I celebrated it on the October 1st, so we decided to go with that one. :?
Fuzzywinter
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#1

Postby laureat » Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:00 am

There can be no life without its own difficulties;

We need to make sure abour our priorities; so we focus on and take actions towards what is more important;

Mistakes are a human nature so we dont need to feel as a victim; because it is part of the life

Mistakes are a human nature so we dont bully ourselves or someone else; about mistakes

We focus on our priorities; so we remind ourselves what to do;

We remind ourselves relaxation, we remind ourselves success; and we surrender to the past because we need to focus on the future,
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