Qutting weed was the hardest experience of my life.

Postby biggiesize » Thu May 08, 2014 12:49 pm

Hello friends,
I just wanted to send out a reminder today to keep fighting.I remember how i felt my first time posting here in November 2008.I had been quit for 4 months and I thought to myself "Surely,i should be over the effects of weed by now'.I was feeling hopeless,helpless,scared and frustrated that I was messed up for life.
The most vivid thing I remember was the excruciating headaches and pressure behind my eyes.I really didnt see any improvements until around month 8.Then after that, my brain still felt foggy and numb even up to a little over a year.My vision was distorted until around the 1 year mark as well.YOUR RECOVERY WILL NOT BE EASY!In fact it is the hardest thing I have ever went through.But my determination to live a better life was stronger than the urge to just give up.6 years later,I can tell you that life is meant to be lived without the haze that weed keeps you in.Keep fighting.We are all pulling for you.
Also,I remember someone telling me in my second post on here to not spend every day regretting and saying "what if".Just live life to the fullest and your recovery will happen.At that moment,that was exactly what I needed to hear and i will be forever be grateful for finding this forum.
Last edited by biggiesize on Thu May 08, 2014 1:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Bevano84 » Thu May 08, 2014 1:03 pm

Hi my friend...

I am only at the beginning of my journey, but for the first time I think I will succeed because i want to feel the pain... No more short cuts in life!!!

“There are a thousand excuses for failure but never a good reason.”

I feel I have gained loads in a week, just so excited learning from you how much to come!!!

Cheers Pal
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Postby lynne66 » Thu May 08, 2014 1:34 pm

Thank you so much for this. I am at just over 60 days and sometimes I just feel...well, strange is the best way I can put it. I feel good in a lot of ways but much more strange in other ways... to a certain level of high existential anxiety at times.

I started thinking last night and this morning, "Why can't I just be like some of the folks here who just start feeling better and better the minute they quit? Are they just more well-adjusted in general or have better attitudes than I ever had?" But then I think of most others here, like yourself, where it took some time to adjust physically and mentally to the whole process. Of course, my addict mind wants everything perfectly fine and under control right now!

I had a thought this morning that it's not just the physical PAWS going on, it's a whole paradigm shift, and psychologically, that has a life of it's own that takes some getting used to. I am just trying to find a way to enjoy the process rather than fear it or resent it. Acceptance....

Congratulations on your long quit and a new life! I read somewhere that one of the best tools of recovery is to commit fully and deeply to the idea of just not using cannabis no matter what, ever again. Thank you for the encouragement and good advice!
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Postby thislifeismine » Thu May 08, 2014 5:03 pm

Today was suppose to be first day. Idk how im even suppose to have motovation to work
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Postby thislifeismine » Thu May 08, 2014 5:21 pm

Im feeling very scared right now. It was much harder than i anticipated and i couldnt do it. I couldnt eat i couldnt even hold a conversation. Idk how im ever going to do this. I had to miss work because i couldnt function. Bit i cant miss anymore work.
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Postby NoMoreWeedMR » Thu May 08, 2014 7:30 pm

thislifeismine, when I stopped for the first time, I was completely terrified, I was afraid to get out of bed, felt almost afraid of everything ... I felt anger, rage, anxiety, wanting to die, hopeless, unmotivated, a complete zombie ..
  I believe that this was the fear of the new, had a tremendous lack of motivation, was really the worst time of my life ... Now the second attempt, I'm more confident than before, I know what awaits me, the challenges of abstinence, because I've been there before ... stay strong in your journey, which gradually improved comes, do not despair, we know how difficult this first step ... but I'm pretty sure that when we win it all, we 'll be really strong and confident individuals against the problem of life ... Two years take too long to spend in our situation, but we are strong and all this will pass .. Keep strong bro!
Sory for the english!
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Postby breakfree1985 » Fri May 09, 2014 12:44 am

Thank you biggiesize for taking the time to come back on this site and share your experience and help motivate us and remind us that there is a brighter side once we get through this darkness.

Lynne I am on day 66 and am experiencing the same as you, It feels like a long abstinence from smoking but it really has been just over a short 2 months. it is daunting to think we have so long left to feel 100% but we can only take it day by day. I am experiencing even worse in terms of energy right now then i ever have on this journey. it's like my body can't function in unison. if i feel tired my mind feels better, if i feel energetic i have brain fog and cant hold a conversation. anxiety comes and goes. its like a luck dip waking up in the morning you just don't know how your going to feel that day. I can't wait for the days I feel 100% every single day!

thislifeismine- If we want to live a weed free life we have to go through the worse days of our lives to live the best days of our lives, the sooner you start the sooner your going to feel better. Like biggiesize says its the hardest thing he has ever experienced and that comment is spot on. Good luck wish you all the best in your quit
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Postby Salsa » Fri May 09, 2014 8:36 am

4,5 months in and sometimes feel like I live a bad dream. Like I'm in some other reality and like my previous life never existed. I feel mentally ill. Hard to describe it. Sometimes I just want to send a bullet through my head.

Thank you biggie. You are a great inspiration to all of us.
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Postby Ruak » Sat May 10, 2014 6:10 am

Almost 7 months and i thought i was finished. The symptoms smacked me hard again a few weeks ago.im pulling for thay yr mark.... I need to.
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Postby cheessebread » Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:48 am

I'm a year into my troubles and I am really great full I have found this fourm. I have previously though it was a wide variety of other illnesses and I think we need to get this topic more publicity so that others that feel this way know what is likely going on and more importantly so teenagers don't make this mistake!
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Postby Ruak » Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:47 am

A year?! How are you doing?!
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Postby Salsa » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:15 pm

How are you doing Ruak?
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Postby Ruak » Fri Jul 11, 2014 1:50 pm

Im improving. The thoughts are my battle now & insomnia.
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Postby george5030 » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:29 pm

Thank you very much for this inspiring post! Its very clear that this is SUPPOSED to be a tough and difficult experience for all of us, its not meant to be easy. If this process was easy and simple, we wouldn't change our mindset about weed and addictions and we would keep being the same addicts we once were before. I'm heading to my 13 month mark (ignoring the fact that I just smoked ONCE in december being drunk), suffering from the symptoms of PAWS and just a few weeks ago I began feeling much better than how I was. My anxiety is being less and less present every day and Ive been able to enjoy a few days without even thinking about all this sh*t. Im finally noticing how slowly my anxiety subsides and how my normal self is coming back. Of course, I still have some days that are bad but nothing to worry about. Ive been trying to abstain myself from alcohol as much as I can and Im still taking my vitamins every single day. Sometimes I meditate and last but not least, I ALWAYS TRY TO BE BUSY AND DISTRACTED. I know things are getting so much better and I cant imagine how I will feel in some months! Keep being strong and POSITIVE! Also, drink huge amounts of water!! Stay hydrated!!

Best of luck to everybody
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Postby olskoolru » Fri Jul 11, 2014 7:19 pm

I'm very close to my 1.5 year mark. I cannot put into words how much better I feel. I actualy feel incredible, with a few "eh" moments in between. Like I said, it is impossible to do justice to my experience in words. The pain, the confusion, the terror, the uncertainty, the stress that I experienced. It may sound funny, but think of it like the treatment that that one guy had to experience right before he became the incredibly superior Wolverine. The headaches and the pressure behind my eyes were so intense that I really thought I was having a brain aneurysm on a daily basis. I was afraid for my life. I must've read BiggieSize's posts a million times, disecting every word in hopes of finding an answer. The only answer was... time.

This all went on until about a year and 2 months. These days I appreciate every second that is weed free. I rarely even think about anymore. My social skills are stronger than ever. My creativity level has skyrocketed (I was always told that weed enhanced this, I beg to differ). My motivation still fluctuates, but I'll take that over the motivation I had when I was a stoner ANY DAY!

I believe that I am stronger as a person than I ever was before. I also recognize that I am an addict and I must always be careful with falling back into the marijuana addiction.

Quitting a weed addiction is not for the weak. If you have been a heavy long term user, then expect a long and painful recovery. The withdrawals affect everyone differently. We all focus on a certain symptom. For me, the toughest part was the headaches. For others it's the brain fog, social withdrawal, insomnia, fear of decreased intelligence, depression, anxiety, vision issues, fatigue, heart palpitations, DP/DR, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc. I had all of these, but worried most about the physical pain in my head. It was an osessive compulsive cycle that I was in for many mohts. That is pretty much gone now and get only the occasional light headache. A RELIEF!
No matter that what your worry is, treat the symptom. Being patient is also very difficult because this is a LLLOONNGGG process and as addicts we are accustomed to the immediate remedy which is drug use.

In the long run you will come out a better person and will love life weed free :)


PS. If weed made music better for you, then you were listening to the wrong music.
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