Girl and guys, please give me advice!

Postby BigBrotherGrimm » Thu Jun 26, 2014 5:34 pm

Hey,

As I have posted before I am finally trying to go out and mix with those beautfiul girls and try to find one I can make mine and forget how lonely I have been all this time.
Well, last week I walked into the supermarket and a incredibly pretty cashier was eyeing me. When I stopped by to pay another guy before me was trying to make smalltalk with her and her and me laughed at him a bit,
Then he was gone, and I didn't say much more, I only smiled back and showed my eyes (people tell me I have a beautiful face when I smile so I got to use it). She clearly enjoyed being pretty and enjoyed looking at me. I have no doubt in my mind.

And as usual after you notice someone you never saw before... then all of a sudden you can't not run into her.

So yeah each time I see her, she's looking at me with those beautiful longing eyes and it's clear that she wants me to flirt with her. And that's where it becomes scary for me...

I am trying to deepen my thoughts and feelings about flirting and the opposite sex but I can't stop hesitating about everything. I don't want this to be another missed chance because I had enough of them!

I wish I could just throw something James Cagney- like: "You're a swell dish! I think I am gonna go for you!!"
That's not me anymore. I am seriously afraid that depression has given me a form of brain damage. I don't have the qualities that I once had. This wouldn't have been a problem when I was 18.

Even worse, I became this depressed hole because of a failed relationship! So let's not even think about what's in store for me when things do work out with this girl. She is amazingly pretty. She is a few years younger (maybe 4 or 5 I don't know). I have known her brother who is my age and he is an arrogant preppy a**hole but I don't feel intimidated by those types... pity that I do feel intimidated by pretty girls. I know what they can do to me..

So what I want you people to tell me. I what would you do in this situation and what would you like to hear if you were her and you was waiting for me to take the first step.

She really has a beautiful smile, I just couldn't get myself to compliment her on it yet.
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#1

Postby WonderGurl » Thu Jun 26, 2014 6:05 pm

How about something along the lines of: "would you like to meet for a coffee someday this week?" and give her a gorgeous confident smile (I don't care you may not feel confident, you're going to have to fake it utill you make it). That way you're just offering to meet. You're not spilling your guts to her, so it's a safe option just in case. And leave it at that. She's either going to say "yes" or "no". And who knows, if ye do meet for a coffee, she might turn out to be not what you had expected to begin with. Put her in the proper perspective. She may be feeling similar to you. Who knows. I think it's important to say to yourself "I can do this" and just do it. Don't think about it anymore. Just suggest a coffee or something that week. It's going to be either or. The world is not going to end, you are not going to burst into flames, it's going to be grand either way. You can do it. I know you can.
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#2

Postby Up up and away » Thu Jun 26, 2014 6:27 pm

"Hey how you doing?"

Then let her respond. No need to go guns blazing if she works somewhere you will see her often. That's an advantage for you, you don't need to invite her out or get the number straight away if she's not going anywhere.

I'd start with "how you doing" she'll most likely say "I'm good thanks, you?" You say "yeah all good just getting some things then going to XYZ" XYZ could be home to cook/chill/friends/work I'd most likely go with friends or something social so you don't look like a loser. Just create an image of you being outgoing and sociable. She might wanna chat but you are at the check out so it will be brief. "Cya later" and smile at her.

Boom you're in, now she knows you exist and that your not afraid to speak to her.

Next time you will be more comfortable around each other, strike up some small talk again. Maybe the third time you see her ask for the number, ask if she wants to hang out or go for a coffee like wonderful suggests.

Just be relaxed and natural, one step at a time. In a club or party it's different, you might not see her again so you do need to be more forward and aggressive in your approach for the number or Facebook or whatever you want from her.

Small steps mate, you are making small talk, not coming across creepy or needy or desperate and it's perfectly innocent until you're confident enough to go for the kill.

Maybe you don't find the confidence to go for the kill, at least you're on speaking terms with this broad and would have boosted your confidence in the process.

Let us know how it goes.

Edit: this is just my advice for someone lacking in confidence, it's prob best to go for the kill the second time you see her after you've spoken to her. Or you will look a bit apprehensive and not the confident guy you are trying to portray.
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#3

Postby dav1307 » Fri Jun 27, 2014 4:10 am

Yea keep perspective. You don't even know her at all yet. Maybe talk to other girls you're less intimidated by, so then you will be more prepared for the girls you really like.

A big part of your problem here is lacking the skill of "talking to a girl." So maybe try to sharpen up your skills a little bit.
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#4

Postby JuliusFawcett » Fri Jun 27, 2014 4:45 pm

Be yourself, there is no need to plan, follow your heart, If she don't like you for who you are, best to move on anyhow, what's the best that can happen?
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