What makes successful persons?

Postby ali1369 » Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:06 pm

Hi everybody,
I want know what makes we trying for success and what makes we don't try?

All peoples love success and want have a good sense but I don't know what makes a difference? :?:
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#1

Postby stulearner » Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:26 pm

Hi,
As much as I understand, you want to ask why some people work hard and others don't, although everyone loves success? am I right?

if that's the question then I think you react when something motivates you. like you eat when hunger motivates you. similarly if you wish to be a doctor, engineer etc in future, this wish motivates you and make you work harder and harder to achieve your goal.
So, when you've no goal or motivation, you don't work hard, just like when your stomach is full you mostly don't eat.
I'm not a psychologist or even a psychology student. That's my own thought.
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#2

Postby ali1369 » Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:37 pm

Very thanks from your good post, yes my question was precisely that. In continue I ask you: If we haven't motivators in ours periphery what we can do for ours success? What do you think about pains for ours motivators?
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#3

Postby stulearner » Fri Aug 08, 2014 5:16 pm

I think we always have motivators either internal or external. your inner beliefs motivates you. if you're confident that you'll be successful, it motivates you and leads you to the success. similarly your outer environment motivates you too. if for example, a doctor is awarded more salary than an engineer then you'll be motivated to be a doctor not engineer.
I don't know psychology rule for that but in my opinion, if there are no motivators, there no wish for success and no work for it.
and sorry, I don't understand your second question.
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#4

Postby JuliusFawcett » Fri Aug 08, 2014 8:37 pm

Choose happiness every day and that's all the success one could ever enjoy, be grateful, be forgiving, be courageous, be loving and most of all be yourself
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#5

Postby ali1369 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 5:22 am

stulearner wrote:I think we always have motivators either internal or external. your inner beliefs motivates you. if you're confident that you'll be successful, it motivates you and leads you to the success. similarly your outer environment motivates you too. if for example, a doctor is awarded more salary than an engineer then you'll be motivated to be a doctor not engineer.
I don't know psychology rule for that but in my opinion, if there are no motivators, there no wish for success and no work for it.
and sorry, I don't understand your second question.

Very thanks I think your right, but sometimes, we have a different things and options to do, then we have a different ways to go. I n this situation what makes we go correct and long-term successful way. e.g. suppose I am a student and I want a money too. then I have a two ways in my life. first that I leave studying and go work and get a job with low income, second I can continue to studying....
I think we have a two kind of motivators. 1- joys 2- pains. I ask you about pains that can motivates we to be a successful. e,g gladiators in past uses pain to be a strong man.
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#6

Postby ali1369 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 5:24 am

JuliusFawcett wrote:Choose happiness every day and that's all the success one could ever enjoy, be grateful, be forgiving, be courageous, be loving and most of all be yourself

Yes your right I think we need managing these emotions to get a success. What do you think??
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#7

Postby stulearner » Sat Aug 09, 2014 6:37 am

Hi,
first of all a reminder again that these comments ate my own opinion. I don't know about psychology laws about them.

as you wrote about different choices to be made, I think you'll find a balance between the choices. like taking the example if you want to study and earn money at the same time, then you'll find a way to study at the morning and a part time job at the evening or something like that. but, if you cannot manage like that then you'll lean towards the choice you prefer most. like if you don't have money to submit your fee for studying, then you'll prefer the job first but still your motivation is study not money. but if your motivation is to earn money, you'll find ways to gain money, you'll never prefer study. was I able to explain the point?

and about the pain motivation, I think pain don't motivate you, it's the wish to get rid of the pain that motivates you. you consult the doctor because you want to get rid of the pain. if pain gave you pleasure, you didn't went to doctor.
if you take the example of boxers, they're not motivated by the pain the experience, but by the fame and the happiness of success. they want to be popular and successful in their field, this motivates them to tolerate the pain.

in short I think happiness is the basic motivator behind every motivation. what do you think?
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#8

Postby JuliusFawcett » Sat Aug 09, 2014 6:58 am

ali1369 wrote:
JuliusFawcett wrote:Choose happiness every day and that's all the success one could ever enjoy, be grateful, be forgiving, be courageous, be loving and most of all be yourself

Yes your right I think we need managing these emotions to get a success. What do you think??


We can learn to manage these emotions by changing our self talk, choose forgiving thoughts, choose courageous thoughts, choose happy thoughts, choose loving thoughts and let go of thought patterns to do with fear, anger, jealousy, blame, guilt, tension, stress, sorrow, irritation, frustration, sorrow, criticism, resentment.

This video can help you, headphones recommended

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGgnx4f ... YwdCN2DLoN
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#9

Postby ali1369 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 7:17 am

stulearner wrote:Hi,
first of all a reminder again that these comments ate my own opinion. I don't know about psychology laws about them.

as you wrote about different choices to be made, I think you'll find a balance between the choices. like taking the example if you want to study and earn money at the same time, then you'll find a way to study at the morning and a part time job at the evening or something like that. but, if you cannot manage like that then you'll lean towards the choice you prefer most. like if you don't have money to submit your fee for studying, then you'll prefer the job first but still your motivation is study not money. but if your motivation is to earn money, you'll find ways to gain money, you'll never prefer study. was I able to explain the point?

and about the pain motivation, I think pain don't motivate you, it's the wish to get rid of the pain that motivates you. you consult the doctor because you want to get rid of the pain. if pain gave you pleasure, you didn't went to doctor.
if you take the example of boxers, they're not motivated by the pain the experience, but by the fame and the happiness of success. they want to be popular and successful in their field, this motivates them to tolerate the pain.

in short I think happiness is the basic motivator behind every motivation. what do you think?

Very thanks you, my opinion from study and take a job was that, we have a many things to do and everything have a itself happiness. My essential idea was that, how we can delete pesky motivators that have a conflict with ours cardinal goal. In the case of pain my idea was that we can use pains for motivate we to a one enjoyment point. pains isn't itself goal rather get rid of pains motivate we to be a strong and get a success final. What is your idea now?
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#10

Postby ali1369 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 7:21 am

JuliusFawcett wrote:
ali1369 wrote:
JuliusFawcett wrote:Choose happiness every day and that's all the success one could ever enjoy, be grateful, be forgiving, be courageous, be loving and most of all be yourself

Yes your right I think we need managing these emotions to get a success. What do you think??


We can learn to manage these emotions by changing our self talk, choose forgiving thoughts, choose courageous thoughts, choose happy thoughts, choose loving thoughts and let go of thought patterns to do with fear, anger, jealousy, blame, guilt, tension, stress, sorrow, irritation, frustration, sorrow, criticism, resentment.

This video can help you, headphones recommended

list=PLwSeQbeEaQysHLH5rXAKenAYwdCN2DLoN

Very thanks you. I think managing our lives is very hard work to do, but if we want mange ourselves, we can do it. there is no doubt at all. :D
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#11

Postby stulearner » Sat Aug 09, 2014 12:33 pm

Choosing between two good or positive things is known as approach-approach conflict. for example if you've to choose between two shirts black and blue, choosing either one provide you happiness. so, in that case it depends on other things as well. like you'll not only consider their color but their price or type of fabric etc. now, it's your choice whether you want a cheaper one or the one with a good quality fabric.
similarly, taking the example of study and job, both provide you pleasure but you've to consider other things as well. if you're financially settled, you should prefer study though job though money seems attractive. so it depends on your decision. Take the right decision and ignore the wrong motivators.

here comes the other point of pain motivator. when you took a wrong decision, you get the wrong result. the pain of that result motivates you to avoid that mistake next time. for example, your exams are in the next month. you've two choices, study and pass the exam or don't care at all and fail. but as you don't consider the pass and fail point and think studying is tiresome so just relax. but the result is, you failed. you felt the pain, sadness and humiliation that then motivates you to sacrifice your enjoyment and study hard to avoid the pain.
is it explained now?
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#12

Postby ali1369 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 5:37 pm

Yes, I think your explanation was very good about pain and enjoyment that motivates we to get a success. But why some people fail in their life although they want to be a successful?
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#13

Postby JuliusFawcett » Sat Aug 09, 2014 5:41 pm

Nobody fails unless they believe that they have, they could be easier on themselves and remember that they are learning, they do not have to compare themselves with anyone else
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#14

Postby ali1369 » Sat Aug 09, 2014 5:47 pm

JuliusFawcett wrote:Nobody fails unless they believe that they have, they could be easier on themselves and remember that they are learning, they do not have to compare themselves with anyone else

That's true, but if we don't compare ourselves with another persons, how we can advance in ours life?if we don't be a jealous about anybody, don't you think we won't have any motivators for success?
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