Why anxiety makes you distant?

Postby walkingonglass » Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:02 pm

Hi guys hope y'all are good :)

I have a boyfriend who suffers from anxiety, and when his anxiety is at its worst or when he even gets it, he distances himself from me. I have no objection to this and I have understood that this is what anxiety does but I wanted to generally just know, why do people distance themselves from their partners when they get anxious and how do they FEEL?

Thanks guys xxx
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#1

Postby Phantasy » Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:13 pm

Hi there,

It could be for a number of reasons but I would imagine the most likely would be that your boyfriend doesn't want you to see him in an anxious state as this might affect your perception of him or he simply finds it easier to manage his anxiety on his own. Assuming you are open with each other, I would ask him (when he is not anxious and in a happier mood) why he does this and perhaps if there is anything you can do to help.

As far a the feeling goes, anxiety can feel extremely frightening and disturbing when one feels it is out of ones control. If I was around people whom I sensed would not understand my behaviour I too would take myself elsewhere. Perhaps your boyfriend feels that way without having given you a chance for you to help him yet. I would recommend an open chat about it with each other, assuming you would both comfortable discussing the subject. Communication is key.

Hope this helps. :)
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#2

Postby JuliusFawcett » Fri Aug 22, 2014 9:11 pm

We can never really know how someone else is feeling, we are all unique and we all have a individual experience of the world.

I made a video about anxiety that might help you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-OluLK ... GvQ3sqcMJB
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#3

Postby walkingonglass » Sat Aug 23, 2014 11:18 am

Thanks Phantasy and JuliusFawcett for your replies.
We have been together for 3,5 years almost and we are very open with eachother, however I think when it comes to his emotions and his anxiety he wants to deal with it himself...I just wish he could let me in, sometimes he just shuts me out and its hard for me. Hard for me to control my own insecurities sometimes as well, and my own anxious thoughts. Everytime he becomes distaant I just think "Oh no, now hes gonna doubt our relationship again, and he only doubts it cause theres something wrong with me". I try to stay brave and supportive though it can be very hard at times :(
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#4

Postby JuliusFawcett » Sat Aug 23, 2014 11:35 am

We are here for you dude, we can cope with anything on here, vent away
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