Hi guys, bad episodes coming back

Postby george5030 » Mon Sep 29, 2014 6:15 am

Hey guys, as some of you that had already read my previous posts, I've recently been away from this forum and haven't posted anything about my real process in a while. It's been because on the last months I was feeling much better and I guess those real bad episodes didn't happen at all. Of course lingering and mild anxiety have been always present but nothing more than interfering with my life.

Recently, on the last weeks, I started to notice how my anxiety levels began raising up and how my thoughts began to come very repetitive and present as before. I've been feeling a lot of stress due to my loss of job and a lot of trouble with approaching girls (my social life in general). I've also been drinking often every weekend. I know all of this summed up could have triggered back my anxiety so basically I know I'm going through a bad episode again. As many of you know, I'm a 20 year student new to a beautiful city like Montreal sorrounded by friendly people and beautiful girls all around. So coming from a new country knowing no one in this city has been very challenging for me because I've been forced to practice my social skills like I never did before. I like going to parties and having fun. But one of my big problems, which I've had from as long as I remember, has been approaching and feeling confident around girls. I'm not a bad looking guy and I recognize in how many areas I'm a good person. But lately, that has been causing me a lot of frustration because I always get very anxious and nervous around them and this stops me from meeting and interacting with them. I'm still a virgin and being all alone in a new city causes me frustation. We are human beings and we are social species, we need love. This has brought my anxiety and questioning existence thoughts back and I'm getting depressed because I see no progress on my self. Sorry for the long post but please, I need support and advice from you guys. Thanks.
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Postby Broken stoner » Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:24 am

Hey man, stop the drinking even on the weekends alcohol is poison you can't expect to gain results if you are putting poison in your body every weekend, I'm 4 months clean and it gets better man just keep doing what you do just stop drinking stay completely sober, as for the girls thing it's normal you just probably never noticed it, I'm 18 and I'm the same way, the only way to fix this is to talk to girls more, I smoked daily for 4 years and I'm not completely recovered I'm noticing improvements everyday and it just takes time. You can do it man keep ur head up! Best of luck
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Postby Salsa » Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:40 am

Try NOFAP and stick with it.
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Postby lynne66 » Mon Sep 29, 2014 5:29 pm

It is a big adjustment to move to a new place. I love my new city but the anxiety of all the changes it's put me through rears up now and again.

Do you think this has anything to do with fall coming? Lack of sunlight? I have SAD and it is greyer here than what I am used to and after two days I start to feel anxious.

You'll get there. Don't worry. All i good time! Get involved with the intelligent people at school - groups with special interests and all. That is what I am trying to do where I am though I already sussed out a sociopath in one of my meetup groups that deals with spirituality and psychology.
Found out he was major pyramid costa rican real estate marketing scammer who conned people out of 21 million dollars. I'm a good detective thanks to the Internet too.

Moving to a new place has taught me to be on my guard at times...and be careful that I make friends with people who are going to be good for me and not more narcissists.
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Postby johnrlivingston » Tue Sep 30, 2014 6:23 pm

George, I'm in the early stages of this myself. But one thing I'm sure of is that alcohol doesn't help. Anything.

As for being shy around girls, you're probably alot harder on yourself than they are. And you're probably not nearly as alone in this as you feel. There are countless girls out there who are likely posting the exact same thing on other message boards.

Don't go looking for girls. Just do what you enjoy, and stay true to yourself. Don't try to make yourself into something you're not. If you try to change to meet the expectations you percieve others to expect - even if you do hook up with them - you'll be dissatisfied with the result.

If you focus on yourself and engage in activities you enjoy - in the presence of women but not with a focus on them - you'll find what you're looking for.
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