Just making sure...

#15

Postby netty28661 » Sun Apr 19, 2015 10:47 am

Hi ihceik, I've just posted on a different thread for you, then I read this. Yes in the first year I had alsorts of random aches & pains, didn't think it could be linked to withdrawal as it was well over 6 months after quitting. At one point I was convinced I needed a new bed despite the one I had only being about a year old, I used to wake up feeling like I'd been literally folded in half, horrible.

With the lack of energy, honestly you need to really push yourself kicking & screaming to get out & about, its hard at first but make yourself do it, ultimately it gives you energy to do more. All you need to do at first is a short walk around where you live, gradually make it longer & brisker - it really helps. Try to notice things whilst walking, your surroundings, sounds, smells etc, or listen to exhilarating music, which is what I did.

You have to treat this as a battle that you aim to win!

Jannette
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#16

Postby Ihceik » Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:29 am

Thank you for your reply Janette. Tbh, I can get over most of the symptoms, but the one that gets to me the most is the OCD. I sometimes get the OCD and intrusive thoughts of me hurting or killing my partner? I realise it's only OCD, but it really freaks me out and makes me hate myself. I'm 100% confident in the fact that'll never happen, but the fact the thoughts occur in the first place is what I find most disturbing. Before weed though, I pretty much has anxiety and OCD and kinda' dealt with it, it was normal at the time. But it seems with withdrawals, my OCD has become a lot more noticeable and I've become a lot more receptive of it (whereas before I was easily able to deflect silly thoughts and put them to rest as soon as they entered my mind). I feel as if my mind is doing everything in it's power to make me smoke dope again (even though it's impossible where I am at the moment). I just wanted to get that off my chest, I'm normally quite open with my S/O about my PAWS but not so much this aspect, as I'm afraid she will not understand and perhaps scare her (which is the last thing I'd want, as she is very supportive in my quit). But I would truly appreciate if someone was able to identify with such symptoms, as it will put my mind at ease and ofc, make me feel as if I'm not going crazy (even though I know I won't!) Fking anxiety, huh!
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#17

Postby netty28661 » Mon Apr 20, 2015 10:10 am

I think OCD type tendancies are pretty normal, I think a lot of people become obsessed with the many symptoms of withdrawals, I know I did, particularly around the insomnia, I was completely obsessed which obviously made the problem worse! I went to the doc & was referred for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, this helps change your thought patterns which could well help you. Obviously depending where you are you may have to pay, if you can afford it, its worth it. Obviously there is a lot on line & many books about it but I found it better with a qualified practitioner.

Jannette
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#18

Postby Sourone » Mon Apr 20, 2015 5:30 pm

Yes this is all totally normal. Your brain is literally freaking out right now and is trying to recalibrate itself after your history of abuse. As far as the intrusive thoughts go I can totally relate to that symptom, it is very stressful but just know you will never act upon these thoughts. I believe it is all related to anxiety. Your brain is going to try everything in the book to get you to use again, so expect a wide range of symptoms to follow. I also experienced dp/dr to a very extreme degree, but just know this is a natural detachment mechanism your brain activates to protect you from trauma. I want to be honest with you and tell you that you may very well have a long road ahead of you but you will certainly come out stronger than ever. The fact that you are experiencing these symptoms means that your body and brain are trying to heal. Eat and rest well, exercise is also a life saver too. As for me I am at 11 months and I'm still experiencing symptoms but to a very minimal degree. I was a heavy user for 10 years. Take care.
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#19

Postby Ihceik » Fri May 15, 2015 11:32 am

Hi Sourone, thank you for your reply.

So it's been 3 months and a half since the tiny toke I had when I was back home. But if I do not include that, 8 months since Sept. But I'm going with the 3. Things have been up and down. You literally do get those odd days where your anxiety isn't that bad and things are bearable. You find you enjoy yourself with little effort. Then you get somedays where it's noticable and you feel the freak' come on. But I think I've been sabotaging myself with coffee. I seem to crave coffee to exercise the power to alter my brain chemistry in someway. Also been having dreams about smoking. 4 months off in 5 days without the dreaded nicotine. Don't miss it all. How is everyone else doing? Things are slowly getting better I feel.
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#20

Postby Ihceik » Mon Jun 08, 2015 11:47 am

So it'll be 4 months in 2 days. Recently, I've been feeling pretty shitty. My symptoms seem to be getting worse. Like I mentioned in my previous post, caffeine is wreaking havoc on my anxiety. With my abstinence from weed and nicotine, I find denying coffee futile. It's somewhat like a reward for abstaining from the other greater 2 evils. However, it is what it is and I'm confident that it'll be another addiction that'll meet it's futile end soon enough. I'm adamant that in order to be entirely successful, I need to be entirely sober. I have little interest in alcohol and so poses no threat to my sobriety. Another 20 months and hopefully this will all behind me. Until then, I'm going to continue eating healthy, exercise daily and make tweaks to my thought processes to purge all fruitless negativity from my mind. The key is to remain strong. Restlessness, DP/DR, anxiety, paranoia, intrusive thoughts and OCD all only temporary and in the end, it'll all only make me stronger.
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#21

Postby Wave » Mon Jun 08, 2015 6:39 pm

Ihceik wrote:It would be 7 months for me, but I had 1 drag (Literally 1 tiny drag!) off a joint 1.5 months ago and had a panic attack high. So I've restarted my quit counter to 1.5 months ago.


A lot I have read talks about looking at the ratio of using day to sober. I would phase it as 7 months with one minor relapse. I think this way of thinking will help a lot as before once I have caved I went back to regular using very quickly. I think you should stick with 7 month!! Well done by the way!

Ihceik wrote:I believe we will all be fine in due time. If anything, it would be fair to say we should abstain from weed every year we were on it! So for it to be 2 years for 2+ years of MJ abuse sounds like a good trade to me.


This is exactly my thoughts. At 2 months, I fully realise how this is going to take. Frustration and lack of motivation are my two biggest barrier at the moment. How have you felt last couple of weeks?
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#22

Postby Ihceik » Wed Jun 10, 2015 12:18 pm

Wave wrote:
Ihceik wrote:It would be 7 months for me, but I had 1 drag (Literally 1 tiny drag!) off a joint 1.5 months ago and had a panic attack high. So I've restarted my quit counter to 1.5 months ago.


A lot I have read talks about looking at the ratio of using day to sober. I would phase it as 7 months with one minor relapse. I think this way of thinking will help a lot as before once I have caved I went back to regular using very quickly. I think you should stick with 7 month!! Well done by the way!

Ihceik wrote:I believe we will all be fine in due time. If anything, it would be fair to say we should abstain from weed every year we were on it! So for it to be 2 years for 2+ years of MJ abuse sounds like a good trade to me.


This is exactly my thoughts. At 2 months, I fully realise how this is going to take. Frustration and lack of motivation are my two biggest barrier at the moment. How have you felt last couple of weeks?


Hi Wave, thank you for your reply.

Tbh, I'm up and down. Happy then depressed. Still quick to anger... especially over little things. I seem to have a problem with letting things go and playing with "what if..." scenarios, which is entirely pointless. Apart from that, I do have my spats of feeling normal. Normal in the sense I'm just not aware of my symptoms, such as the DP/DR. So I'm not sure if it is because the symptoms are temporarily gone, or I'm just completely focused on something else or that the symptoms are simply not being acknowledged. However, all is well and I am happy with my progress thus far. The only concern I have is that I am returning to my home country for a month for vacation. I'm somewhat afraid I'll "reward" myself with a spliff during my duration there and completely ruin my quit. It's easy NOT to smoke where I am currently, because it's highly illegal and not worth the risk finding. However, going back home for vacation, without the stresses of work and money in my back pocket is bit of a worry to be completely honest. I do not want to smoke, but that part of me is seeking the relaxation and the pure escapism. I would literally spend the entire duration stoned out of my head playing video games. But then last time I had a little smoke (please refer to previous posts in this thread) I had an epic panic attack. It was literally one pull of super tonky donk sh** and it sent me packing to the moon. The stress of a loved ones death and the desire to escape the pain with weed (with 0 fking tolerance as I've been away from it for 4 months at that point!) completely kicked my as s and was stuck with intense DP/DR the following day... and here I am now! So if you have any magical advice for me to abstain, i would kindly love to hear it! But, enough of me. How are you doing Wave?
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#23

Postby Furtive » Wed Jun 10, 2015 6:05 pm

Ihceik wrote:
Wave wrote:....completely kicked my as s and was stuck with intense DP/DR the following day... and here I am now! So if you have any magical advice for me to abstain, i would kindly love to hear it! .....


What part of intense DP/DR isn't convincing you that you don't want to get stoned again?

There's no magical advice there's just the truth.
You had "magically bad" symptoms last time you used weed, how's that?

If you can be mindful of the truth every time a craving arises, you're home free.
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#24

Postby lisasmemory » Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:16 pm

During the last 4 months I've made a conscious note of every situation I've dealt with well and considered how I would have managed it if I was still smoking. I'm less paranoid, more awake in the mornings, not desperate to finish work and spark up a joint, the door bell goes and I don't panic, no more midnight munchies.

My memory was shot to pieces during the first month, that worried me as it worked fine while I smoked pot, but it passed. I had half a joint at the 4 week mark and really couldn't see why I'd been doing that to myself for so long, haven't touched any since. Part of me still wants it, but I'm starting to enjoy being clear headed, and not too paranoid to go buy milk whenever I run out.
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#25

Postby Ihceik » Sun Aug 02, 2015 11:52 am

lisasmemory wrote:During the last 4 months I've made a conscious note of every situation I've dealt with well and considered how I would have managed it if I was still smoking. I'm less paranoid, more awake in the mornings, not desperate to finish work and spark up a joint, the door bell goes and I don't panic, no more midnight munchies.

My memory was shot to pieces during the first month, that worried me as it worked fine while I smoked pot, but it passed. I had half a joint at the 4 week mark and really couldn't see why I'd been doing that to myself for so long, haven't touched any since. Part of me still wants it, but I'm starting to enjoy being clear headed, and not too paranoid to go buy milk whenever I run out.


Thanks for the reply Lisa. How are you doing in your resolve? If not counting my 1 toke fk up in Feb, next month should make it 1 year! Life has certainly change. The clarity is definitely something worth quitting for, but seems to be neither here nor there. Withdrawals still takes it's toll and memory goes to sh**. But once all is said and done and things return to how they should (or to the degree we expect them to), I'm positive it'd be extremely hard to look back and return to old habits. What I find the most liberating is not being subject to the constant manipulations you put yourself through. 1 more bag... I need it for xxxxxx... I have to go do xxxxxxx later so I need some to do it properly.... yadda yadda yadda. It's great to be free from that cycle of deceit and not having living life a bag a day, only being content when the bag is full but as soon as you see the contents dwindle, you're already planning where and when the next bag will come. Also the feeling of being able to do anything without the need to be STONED to do it. When in reality (something we're far detached from amidst the fog) we perform much worse stoned!
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#26

Postby lisasmemory » Sun Aug 02, 2015 5:46 pm

Hi Ihceik, Well done on making it to the 11 month mark, not the sort of thing the rest of the population have any idea of the work that takes, glad we have this place to cheer each other on. I'm at 6.5 months and starting to see the differences in the amount of things I'm getting done. Nearly cracked when I found an easier way to buy in bulk, but after trying a bag I realised how much I preferred being without it. The biggest factor was that I'd started a writing project (as well as a couple of other hobbies) that I'd been working on in the evenings, I got stoned, had that old familiar head full of colourful ideas, ran back out of weed - and understood that I'd achieved nothing during those few days, and all those ideas were so 'ungrounded' that they weren't even worth having.

I have serious trouble listening to any smokers I know at the moment justifying their habits. I look and see what I must have been like, eyes to the ground, head full of fanciful thoughts, totally broke and talking complete rubbish. They look at me like I've become a born again Christian or something, when the reality is I haven't said a word, if they feel judged it's because they have concerns about it themselves. Pointless trying to persuade anyone to give up the weed, we all know being high feels great, it also makes regular smokers ignorant to the fact that it turns the majority of users into flakes.

I shouldn't knock the smokers I suppose, but it does feel sometimes like they got this whole monopoly on 'creativity'. It used to worry me that I'd be losing something by not smoking - sounds like you agree with what I've found though, that you don't lose anything, instead you actually come up with much more workable ideas that are much more likely to get done.

Well done again!
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#27

Postby Pixeltiger » Sun Aug 02, 2015 8:41 pm

lisasmemory wrote:I shouldn't knock the smokers I suppose, but it does feel sometimes like they got this whole monopoly on 'creativity'. It used to worry me that I'd be losing something by not smoking - sounds like you agree with what I've found though, that you don't lose anything, instead you actually come up with much more workable ideas that are much more likely to get done.

Well done again!


Amen to all of that. I make my living out of creativity and I am so much more creative now that I am drug free. I used to deceive myself that weed helped me to be creative, but once I got straight I saw just how ridiculous that self deception was.

I have gone from being average at what I do to being among the best since I got clean. Not only that but with a clear head I can also truly appreciate my success rather than having it obscured by a thick narcotic fog.
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#28

Postby Head in loud » Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:26 pm

Ihceik wrote:Hi guys,

I've recently just re-located to Japan for a job opportunity (and as you can guess, I had to quit MJ). It's been a month and a half now and I've noticed I've been getting what seems to be panic attacks. Can't focus, like I have no mental clarity and feel like I'm in a constant daze. I feel as if I am near going to faint and feeling tired. I thought I was dying, then I realised... is this part of the withdrawal process? Bare in mind I've been a Chronic smoker for the past 6 years, (With a few months off here and there) but never quite experienced the withdrawals as being as severe as this. After spending hours trying to figure out why I have been feeling this way, it only makes sense that it's withdrawals. The panic attack feeling sucks but the brain fog feeling really gets to me and I start to freak out. I guess I just need someone to re-affirm that the symptoms I am experiencing is the result of said chronic abuse and that it is normal to experience said symptoms. Hope all is well guys on your front. Thank you for your time.

I know it is old post but wonder what happen to you? When did your OCD go away?
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