after 7 days i can stop my cravings

[Ade,wales]

Been smoking since i was 13. just wanted to be one of the boys. can remember my first session (dont know how) and it was amazing. started smoking fags (cigarettes to you yanks) to be able to smoke the Js. now 38 and have had about a total of 12 months off in various half arsed attempts at quitting. have to do it now cos the wife is pregnant and i need to sort my sh*t out mentally and financially, and to be a normal husband. its unfair on her to be a dribbling wreck on the sofa.

there was nothing wrong with my life - normal upbringing (my dad was a policeman!) went to uni, got a degree, 8 months backpacking round the world. then came back to my hometown to, well, to get on with my life i suppose. because of being wrecked all the time got an easy, boring, dull job. didnt care tho, i was in my MJ bubble. normal day - wake and bake, go to work, maybe sneak one in lunchtime, home, spliff straight away, then at least another 5 thru the evening. along with a bottle of wine. most nights cant remember going to bed. wake up feeling rough. repeat the process. this went on for years.

also would be quite partial to many other drugs - mushrooms (welsh ones are crazy), coke, pills etc wotever was on offer. i can definitely say now that this abuse has mashed my brain and prevented me from going anywhere in life.

so with a baby on the way i need my brain back to sort my business out so it will work and provide for us.

this is wot i have been through, even if telling my story helps just one person it will be worth it. i have spent pretty much all week reading this forum and i dont think id be where i am now without it. i just wanted to give something back.

Mon 6 jan 2015 - day 1
bought a quarter on friday and spent all weekend caning it to finish it by sun night. bad idea, should have tapered off.no work monday so sat in my shed (cant smoke in the house anymore) smoking about a million fags an hour. felt absolutely crazy - depression, wobbly head, asking myself do i really need to stop?where can i score from?, f**k this sh** i cant do it, irritable, snappy just generaly a complete backside.could have easily stabbed someone in the face for no reason.dont know how i got thru that day! ate almost nothing

tue
no work again (this added to craziness as i really need to work, skint), almost no sleep mon night, unbelievable sweats in the night but always cold. all day the same craziness but sorted some work out for a bit so felt better.just need to sleep tonight for work 2moro. ate almost nothing. how crazy is this - just couldnt get warm so got in boiling hot shower completely covered in goosebumps and they didnt go for about 10 mins.wanted to know wots up with me so looked on net and found this forum - lifesaver

wed
almost no sleep again, sweats etc. work was fine (im an electrician, plumber, bathroom fitter, tiler). bit light headed at times and just feeling not right, like about to get the flu.ate almost nothing

thu, fri,sat
same sh** as last few days but feeling better about it as i know its my body and brain fixing itself. have had 2-3 hrs of sh** sleep a night and almost no food all week but somehow thats not effected me that much. in work now and again get weird flu type feelings. after work sat went to the pub and got fairly shitfaced hoping ill get loads of sleep. didnt work.

sun (today)
big hangover. first piss in the morning was only just in liquid form so dehydrated. the 'shall i go and score?' question thats been bouncing around in my head all week has stopped cos i dont want another week like this one again.ate a massive chinese meal, feel so much better for that. as im typing this i need to go to bed for work but feel wide awake. not fighting it anymore as i feel its not really effecting me anyway(yet?)

whenever ive had a ganj craving this is how ive stopped it - smoke a fag and listen to my most favourite songs, sitting in my shed on my own banging my head to the beat, anything to forget wot my brain is trying to make me do - score and smoke. if you want to/are trying to quit you must listen to these songs - Kid Cudi; Alive, Pursuit of Happiness and Day N Nite. these 3 songs i have listened to 100 times each this week. i have kept listening to them over and over till the cravings gone, sometimes 10 mins sometimes an hour, works a treat for me. go on youtube and watch the videos with the lyrics.

I know i have smoked my last spliff, moderation isnt my thing as ive spent the last 25 yrs proving, cant do it. i will miss MJ as she has saved my life in the past (wont go into that here) but it has also put my life on hold. you cant see it once your fully in her grip.

gonna have a go at a bit of kip now, need to be up in 5 hours

wanted to say so much more but this post is long enough already, sorry

Furtive, if your out there your post helped me the most. thank you so much

[Anewchapter]

Hi Ade, wales, hope you got some good sleep and having a good morning so far. I managed to get around 4 hours last night, which is better than the 2 hours a night I've been having. I'm feeling quite sleep deprived at the moment, I can see little floaters dotting around.

Anyways, It's good that you have found something to help with your cravings. I don't think I've heard of the songs you mentioned, I will have a listen to them on YouTube. I think ways of helping cravings are different for everyone, for me music does not help too much, reading a book is more beneficial for me, it is difficult at first to stay focused, but once I do it is a way for me to escape, it also helps with my racing thoughts a little too. Though sometimes I'll read something which triggers a memory and my thoughts are going wild again. But each time I try and get back into the story I believe is helping me control them thoughts.

I can relate with the weed putting life on hold. Weed has held me back in many areas, and yes I didn't see that in till just over a year ago, when I was well with-in its grip. It took me 23 years to see the damage it was doing to me. I can also relate where you say weed has helped you in the past as well. I believe it has me at some level also.

All the best, and stay strong

[Anewchapter]

I've just been asking myself, if weed has really helped me at all in the past?

After thinking about it I'm not so sure if it has. I used to always believe weed helped me to feel 'normal'. Like you, I started at a young age and have also had issues with other drugs in the past. I was age 11 when I started smoking weed and taking other drugs, but thinking about it now if I'd never started taking any kind of drug I may not of felt I needed the weed.

I have problems with excitability, which tends to lead to me being impulsive, which inturn can get me into trouble. I felt that weed helped keep me grounded. But maybe I wouldn't have the issue with excitability if I'd never started taking drugs in the first place, this I will never know.

What I do know, is that I need to deal with my under lying issues, because weed is most definitely not helping me now and will not allow me to reach my potential or ever know who I truly am, and what really interests me in life. I've got all that to look forward too, definitely a good incentive for me not to start back up again.

[Furtive]

...Furtive, if your out there your post helped me the most. thank you so much

Thank YOU Ade, and best wishes for the quit.
Which post?

It might take a lot of time and relapses to get where you want to be
but if the decision has been properly made
you should be protected from falling back in the pattern like before.

Waking up feeling rough is horrible.
Being irritable and unsatisfied …. all these symptoms of weed abuse will clear up if you stay clean.

And then if you relapse
you'll rediscover those symptoms and it will be less easy to ignore them again.

As long as you're honest with yourself you will leave behind what makes you unhappy.

[Ade,wales]

Furtive - i meant to say your thread not your post, i read all of it. I wont be relapsing as i have already done that several times and gone straight back to every day use. never again, i know i will do it so therefore i will not fool myself into thinking 'ill only have one or two, itll be alright'. are u in the UK? im interested how you have successfully grown outside(purely out of curiosirty of course). ive tried a few times and it was a complete waste of time, didnt think we had enough good weather for it.

Day 8 (its flying by)

had 4 hours of complete solid/out cold sleep last night. alarm woke me up (usually up b4 it) and really wanted to stay in bed. but had to work (got to earn so i can give most of it to David Cameron and his bunch of c**ts so they can keep lording it up and wasting it), sorry just had a wave of bitterness there. managed half a mcmuffin for breakfast ( eating woteva i fancy even if its not technicaly food) and went to work. it was like i had a line of speed, working at twice the speed, and got shitloads done. ate half a sandwich all day, 10pm now and still havent had anything else but i dont feel any bad effects of not eating so not letting it bother me.

went to see a good friend after work, someone i have foolishly ignored the last 2 years probably cos he doesnt toke. have arranged to go back to the gym and am going back to my jiu jitsu class, which i love, and again have ignored for 2 years. this i never would have done if i was still smoking.

in only 8 days i have seen huge improvements.much more go in me, confidence, clearer thinking, business ideas are flooding my brain, less irritable, more sociable, realising how much i love my wife and have not been showing it, cant wait for our baby to come even tho i never felt the desire to have kids till now, just generally enjoying being alive more, joking with people, quicker to respond when talking, being a bit more of a laugh rather than a miserable sh**, i think i could keep listing things all night.

of course there have been things that havent been great - crazy night sweats (gone now), cravings (overcome i think), occasional light head/wobbly feeling/like im floating (probably cos of not eating), still the thought of never smoking again sort of makes me sad. but these are nothing compared to the benefits.

right im gonna try eat some chips

[Ade,wales]

Furtive - how did you give up the fags? ive got to b4 June 20 (baby due date)

not even gonna consider it now, but getting mentall y prepared before hand might help.

[Ade,wales]

Starting to think I'm getting addicted to this site.
**** it, gonna try go bed now
Nighty night everyone

[Furtive]

Yes I'm in the UK.

I gave up the cigs by waiting until I had 'flu.
That meant I couldn't smoke for 3 days while I was so ill and I just stayed quit from there.
I'd been wanting to do it for a while, but there's something about coughing up deep lung butter
that helps re-enforce the decision.

I tried chewing nicotine gum and it was so strong it made me cough, so I just went cold turkey instead.
It's more intense than quitting weed (I had a couple of nights where I REALLY suffered) but it's all over quicker.
About 3 months for me.
Whereas weed has a more lasting attraction after the cravings stop.

This isn't the place to discuss methods of growing weed.
There are places online where you can learn which methods and strains work well.
Unfortunately, though, the more obvious sites show misinformation….
… because they are run by profiteers with sponsors and so the last thing they want to do
is help you supply yourself for free.
So they pretend that it's difficult, and guide you towards alternative, costly techniques.

As I tried to say in my thread, I believe that part of my solution/rehab from a chronic habit
was getting my supply sorted out and forcing myself to regulate my intake from an endless free source
instead of binge/bust cycles buying it from folks.

[Ade,wales]

Furtive you're right this isn't the place for that kind of discussion. Give me a bell ( only joking). Was just thinking there some serious money to be made there. But on reflection( wouldn't have thought to use that word a week ago) all I would be doing is creating all these problems for a load more other people,so actually I don't want to know. Have u done your mushroom experiment yet? I loved tripping but haven't for many years and never would again. U think weed mashes ur head,I think mushrooms pulverises it. Dangerous sh** if messed with. But weirdly feel glad I tried them(lots of times). Can make u think on a completely different level,impossible to explain to a straight person. Kids - don't do it.

Day 9

Didn't eat many chips last night, but don't really care. Had about 5 hours sleep, not bad. Got up before alarm(normal), got to work half hour early ,haven't done that for,well haven't done that before. Actually enjoy work now,haven't for years, but I think cos I am working for someone different now,not cos of the quit. Maybe 50/50.

Actually feel sleepy for the first time in a week so gonna go bed soon. Maybe

[Ade,wales]

Furtive - lung butter, f**king brilliant.

as for my grow attempts - i live in Wales, we havent seen the sun for about 35 years so thats why i probably failed.

[Ade,wales]

I have stopped for 9 days now. in that time , gonna be honest here, i would have drunk 10 bottles wine (1 a day plus bit more on weekend). have had 3, only to try to get a good nights sleep. and got to say i am struggling to get it down. i think because i am always on the verge of dehydration ( i am drinking lots water, just cant get to the point of being hydrated).i think i am on the verge of a complete lifestyle change. i am becoming normal.

am really worried tho that i am just being too optomistic and in a week im gonna be rolling around on the floor sucking my big toe and whining.wot worries the most is other people posting that they only started feeling better after 3 months, and 1 year down the line they feel normal. f**k that, not gonna be able to do that.reassurance please

[HDog455]

I have stopped for 9 days now. in that time , gonna be honest here, i would have drunk 10 bottles wine (1 a day plus bit more on weekend). have had 3, only to try to get a good nights sleep. and got to say i am struggling to get it down. i think because i am always on the verge of dehydration ( i am drinking lots water, just cant get to the point of being hydrated).i think i am on the verge of a complete lifestyle change. i am becoming normal.

am really worried tho that i am just being too optomistic and in a week im gonna be rolling around on the floor sucking my big toe and whining.wot worries the most is other people posting that they only started feeling better after 3 months, and 1 year down the line they feel normal. f**k that, not gonna be able to do that.reassurance please

If you say that you're "not gonna be able to do that" then you have a fundamental problem of having the wrong mindset. Then you ask for reassurance. Well, everybody on here who are successful long term quitters, including myself, are going to be quick to offer reassurance. But you need a lot more than reassurance.

It's all about you and only you can do what's necessary in order to be able to quit weed. You should start be ignoring all of that utter rubbish about so-and-so being able to moderate usage and having an unlimited free supply etc. or "experimenting" with mushrooms. If you're think along those lines then you are only paying lip service to the notion of quitting for good.

It would be far better for you to actually follow through with your idea of a complete lifestyle change. That is essentially what I did and I was able to quit a 30 year chronic habit Cold Turkey. No dicking around with trying occasional use or using other addictive substances - just plain old willpower and focus. Just give it up - you don't need it, period.

[Furtive]

...wot worries the most is other people posting that they only started feeling better after 3 months, and 1 year down the line they feel normal. f**k that, not gonna be able to do that.reassurance please

Look again, it's not nearly as bad as you think.

You're on Day 9 or 10. You're surprised how much better you feel in some ways already, right?
Well what those other quit diaries are telling you is that no matter what comes,
you will probably feel better still ….around the 100 day clean point onwards.
Might have to go longer, some say that the real milestone is much later,
but the point is that those milestones are a celebration not a dread.
the benefits you feel already from quitting
will get stabilise and then get better still

for me & I'm sure many others too
the worst part of quitting was just before deciding to quit, facing up to it, in a state where large amounts
of it were simply not making us happy.
"Darkest just before Dawn"

And look again because there's also the common theme in those diaries
where people are saying "I can't believe I'm already at this milestone, I never thought I'd do it, "
that's telling you something hopeful as well - "it's not as bad as you think at first."

[johnrlivingston]

Thanks for sharing your story, Ade. Sounds like your'e doing great. Keep up the good work!

I have no doubt staying busy & active is helping you immensely.

You may find your initial optimism begin to fade. Not saying it will, but it may happen. While my first 2 weeks were certainly the worst part of my quit in terms of intensity, I'd have to say the long-term challenges in the months that followed have been the hardest to deal with.

Just keep reminding yourself why you're doing this - and that no matter how long it takes - it's a commitment you refuse to abandon.

I look forward to your updates! Keep on rockin'.

[Ade,wales]

Thanks for the replies.

HDog455,think u got the wrong end if the stick,I have no intention of relapsing. It's in my head now never to touch anything again. I am a very determined guy once I have set my mind on something,and actually want to do it. So I know it's not gonna happen. Thanks for the support and advice tho. (Ps wot does lip service mean?)

Furtive - that's put my mind at ease somewhat. Was shitting a brick cos am expecting a turn for the worse. How u doing?

Jonrlivingston - thanks man. Ye,if I hadn't kept busy and just sat at home with sh*** thoughts running thru my head I think I'd be smashed again by now. You keep posting too ok.

Just got back from my first jiu jitsu class in 11months and so glad I went. Learned so much and feel like I might remember it by next week too. But the most important part was seeing the guys I trained with b4 ( hey tony,know ur gonna read this). Told them wots going on with me and just them understanding and,I suppose, them congratulating me on doing it,made me feel real good. Defo gonna be a regular again.

Maybe 4 hours sleep last nite, very little food today. I've lost about an inch of my waist in 10 days. But still feel no bad effects. Should i be worried? Ah who cares. Got some spare inches anyway. Ha