Nobody understands me =\

Postby EquilibriumPoint123 » Mon Mar 02, 2015 9:51 pm

Hi guys I'm sorry..

I have a feeling that nobody understands me.. Not that they doesn't want to help, but simply they don't know how but aren't willing to confess it.. i don't know,. I like my therapist but I see no point.. it's been 3 years or more and honestly it went from bad to worse all these years.. I guess I'm not suited to life, I don't even know things I like.. I can't speak to my parents, i have few to zero friends.. For years i've been getting suicide thoughts but since 4 or 5 monhts they are getting worse, I feel like I can do it at any minute...

about me: male, 20~ years old, diagnosed with social phobia, depression, anorexia, obsessive compulsive, bipolar disorder.. A lot of diagnosis, probably half of them totally wrong, but anyway... I would just say depression..

pursuing PhD, I guess i'm a good student, but thats all, above average but not even close to top people, and only in this aspect. rest of my life is just useless, I'm not worth a penny..

sorry this messy, I took some pills and got a little light headed.
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#1

Postby BuildALife » Tue Mar 03, 2015 8:11 am

If what you say is true and not the result of taking the pills then I would suggest you start looking for a therapist that can help.
Therapists are not all the same, you need to find one you can relate to and who you trust to help.

The search might not be easy but if you are thinking about suicide and are depressed all the time then you will need some help to get there.

I would also suggest not leaving your current therapist until you have a new one, they may not be achieving a lot but I would hate for you to find out later that there was some value in them.

Whilst searching I would suggest you put some serious effort into ensuring you have a good healthy diet and are getting a moderate level of physical activity into your life. I don't know if you are or are not looking after yourself in these areas but a good diet and some exercise will ensure you give yourself every chance to get somewhere. Often with depression we let these areas in our lives drop and then not only are we mentally down we are physically down as well, making the fight even harder than it needs to be.

One thing to keep in mind is that maybe you are not living the life you should be. Maybe you need to review where you live, what you do each day and what makes you happy. If you haven't heard of the terms "Sea Change" or "Tree Change" then do some research. Many people are finding that they need to alter their lives completely to find happiness, people are moving from cities to the country or sea side to have better lives, whilst country people are moving from what they consider boring small towns to the city to find happiness. We are not all born in the location where we will find happiness.

I hope you find something in my answer or that someone else gives you some advice which helps.
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#2

Postby Candid » Tue Mar 03, 2015 2:51 pm

When you say you can't speak to your parents, do you mean it doesn't feel like they're on your side?

All of your symptoms, including the notion that you're "not worth a penny", may well stem from C-PTSD/attachment trauma, http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/cpts ... tment.html.
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#3

Postby rightmeow » Tue Mar 03, 2015 3:20 pm

Try talking to as more people as you can, it will help you.
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#4

Postby TheCloud » Wed Mar 04, 2015 2:03 am

Being above average in pursuing a PhD isn't nothing. If you can do that much when you're this miserable, then you can easily do more once you've recovered. Feeling misunderstood is pretty normal, and you probably really are misunderstood. If you can't talk to your parents and you don't have any friends, there's not even anyone around to understand you. Not that you'd find someone just by trying harder; people are generally well-intentioned, but are also generally ignorant as to what it takes to understand another person.

But none of that means that you're hopeless. You can't quit just because nobody else has the answer. If nobody else has it, find it for yourself. Make up for your own lack, and then maybe someday, someone like you are now will be able to get it from you.

Then there will be one less misunderstood person in the world, and you know exactly how important that is. Don't give up, because your success or failure means the success or failure of many others like you.
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#5

Postby Introspectah » Thu Mar 05, 2015 4:43 pm

EquilibriumPoint123 wrote:Hi guys I'm sorry..

I have a feeling that nobody understands me.. Not that they doesn't want to help, but simply they don't know how but aren't willing to confess it.. i don't know,. I like my therapist but I see no point.. it's been 3 years or more and honestly it went from bad to worse all these years.. I guess I'm not suited to life, I don't even know things I like.. I can't speak to my parents, i have few to zero friends.. For years i've been getting suicide thoughts but since 4 or 5 monhts they are getting worse, I feel like I can do it at any minute...

about me: male, 20~ years old, diagnosed with social phobia, depression, anorexia, obsessive compulsive, bipolar disorder.. A lot of diagnosis, probably half of them totally wrong, but anyway... I would just say depression..

pursuing PhD, I guess i'm a good student, but thats all, above average but not even close to top people, and only in this aspect. rest of my life is just useless, I'm not worth a penny..

sorry this messy, I took some pills and got a little light headed.


Pleased to meet you, friend in distress.

Hi guys I'm sorry..


There's nothing to be sorry for.

I will be bold and assume that the reason why you wrote that is because an (un)conscious belief of yours dictates that venting your emotions will inevitably be perceived as complaining---tainted by a dark, unfavourable connotation.

In your brief summary you have described the symptoms of your distress, which offer little substance to reflect upon.

I wish to combine forces and engage in some therapeutic reflection together so that at least you will not feel as if you're on your own, and nobody comprehends you.

In situations such as these i invariably feel impelled to shed a light onto my own background as to facilitate the process of acquainting with eachother, but in this case i will strip my invitation off any potentially unnecessary furnishing.
All i can say with potent conviction is that i will comprehend you.
And if i won't be able to deeply re-enact your emotional pains like a method actor, at least i will be empathizing deeply with you.

The bulk of your modern day therapeutic team lacks the personal experience to relate, the deep-rooted empathy to feel intimately and most pertinently of all, the genuine willingnenss to establish change and the conviction in the possibility thereof.
I prefer to present my self as humble as managable so instead of alluding to unorthodox, credible credentials, i may simply speak of my everlasting passion to practice my ripened talents in the psychological department.

To conclude, if you are genuinely determined to drastically alter your psychic condition and consequently your life, i will gently invite you to look deeper into your childhood and family matters as there is where the roots of prolonged anguish usually lie.

With compassion

Shane
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Oh, and please, for the sake of your sanity, lay off the pills.

Removing the pills out of your life will evidently revive your pain and thus you will most probably be compelled to sedate your pains again, but i cannot stress ardently enough that the solution lies not in sedation but in surrendering to the pain.

A large portion of your sorrow is due to your resistance to it.

Deeply moving emotion has never killed someone, only the fierce resistance to it creates the gap of imbalance which lays bare to be stretched out further.
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#6

Postby nbd » Fri Mar 06, 2015 11:26 am

Benjamin Button: For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
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#7

Postby TeeJee » Sat Mar 07, 2015 9:33 am

Try talking to your parents.. if you able to face your fears, things will get better.

Trust yourself that you'll overcome this.
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#8

Postby jek_Yll » Sat Mar 07, 2015 5:11 pm

Don't you have a Pervasive Developmental Disorder? So much diagnosis, that can't be, I think. Maybe an autistic Spectrum disorder, like asperger syndrome, all you symptoms can be found in it :)
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#9

Postby noonelikesaknowitall » Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:53 pm

I have had years in a row where the thought to kill myself enters my mind at least once a day, sometimes more, and sometimes with quite a conviction.

The good news is that it can get better. The bad news is that it is unlikely to happen with out the help of others!!

Have you tried a fellowship? I am a member of alcoholics anonymous (AA) and have been for twelve years now. When I sobered up I spent many years with mood swings and depression/ suicidal thoughts. Being able to share this with other people has been a huge relief and sometimes has lead to some good suggestions on what I could do differently to improve the situation almost always ideas that I would never have thought of on my own. Also often what I think is depressing me often is not what is really troubling me. So it has been important to learn to trust people sufficiently (in the right setting) to let down my guard and share what is really going on for me (with out my mind filtering what I think they want to hear)

My thought life has a very powerful effect on my mood. My thought life can be very defective sometimes with out me even realizing, because it is normal for it to be like that.

I never realized my mind lies to me. I always used to trust it. So if my mind told me that 'so and so does not like me' I would believe it and I would be defensive around that person (for no good reason) The only way I can find out if someone like me or not is go and ask them btw!!

The reason I mentioned fellowship is because that is a gathering of people who want to get better. It is a relief to be among people who are just as messy as me. You could try coda
(I was going to supply a link here but it wont let me, I will post the issues below) issues covered. All people are a little coda but for coda people these issues listed on this link can cause them to really struggle with life to the point of suicide.

They have meetings where a speaker shares his experience strength and hope and then people share back to him if they want to. You get to hear some life stories and get some identification.
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#10

Postby noonelikesaknowitall » Sat Mar 07, 2015 8:54 pm

Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence

The following checklist is offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. It may be particularly helpful to newcomers as they begin to understand codependency. It may aid those who have been in recovery a while to determine what traits still need attention and transformation.

Denial Patterns

Codependents often. . . :

• have difficulty identifying what they are feeling.
• minimize, alter, or deny how they truly feel.
• perceive themselves as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
• lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
• label others with their negative traits.
• think they can take care of themselves without any help from others.
• mask pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation.
• express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways.
• do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom they are attracted.


Low Self-esteem Patterns
Codependents often. . . :

• have difficulty making decisions.
• judge what they think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
• are embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.
• value others’ approval of their thinking, feelings, and behavior over their own.
• do not perceive themselves as lovable or worthwhile persons.
• seek recognition and praise to overcome feeling less than.
• have difficulty admitting a mistake.
• need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and may even lie to look good.
• are unable to identify or ask for what they need and want.
• perceive themselves as superior to others.
• look to others to provide their sense of safety.
• have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
• have trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries.


Compliance Patterns

Codependents often. . . :

• are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
• compromise their own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
• put aside their own interests in order to do what others want.
• are hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings.
• are afraid to express their beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others.
• accept sexual attention when they want love.
• make decisions without regard to the consequences.
• give up their truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.


Control Patterns
Codependents often. . . :

• believe people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
• attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.
• freely offer advice and direction without being asked.
• become resentful when others decline their help or reject their advice.
• lavish gifts and favors on those they want to influence.
• use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance.
• have to feel needed in order to have a relationship with others.
• demand that their needs be met by others.
• use charm and charisma to convince others of their capacity to be caring and compassionate.
• use blame and shame to exploit others emotionally.
• refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
• adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.
• use recovery jargon in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
• pretend to agree with others to get what they want.


Avoidance Patterns

Codependents often. . . :

• act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward them.
• judge harshly what others think, say, or do.
• avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a way to maintain distance.
• allow addictions to people, places, and things to distract them from achieving intimacy in relationships.
• use indirect or evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation.
• diminish their capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use the tools of recovery.
• suppress their feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable.
• pull people toward them, but when others get close, push them away.
• refuse to give up their self-will to avoid surrendering to a power greater than themselves.
• believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.
• withhold expressions of appreciation.
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#11

Postby LiveHere » Sun Mar 08, 2015 6:44 am

jek_Yll wrote:Don't you have a Pervasive Developmental Disorder? So much diagnosis, that can't be, I think. Maybe an autistic Spectrum disorder, like asperger syndrome, all you symptoms can be found in it :)


We are all just fine, we just somehow lost our own directions

We will all be just fine when we find out our own true self nature

The only way I know how to find our true nature within is by meditation
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#12

Postby LiveHere » Sun Mar 08, 2015 6:56 am

@EquilibriumPoint123 :

It should not matter if nobody understands you
It should not matter if everybody understands you

It is more Important that you understand yourself

We have a very limited amount of power in our hands,
Don't waste it for explaining your self to others, be yourself, don't worry about what others think of you

I remember when I used to have very similar thoughts about myself to, E.P.123

Let the universe take care of it, Do what you like the most
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#13

Postby jek_Yll » Sun Mar 08, 2015 10:01 am

LiveHere wrote:
jek_Yll wrote:Don't you have a Pervasive Developmental Disorder? So much diagnosis, that can't be, I think. Maybe an autistic Spectrum disorder, like asperger syndrome, all you symptoms can be found in it :)


We are all just fine, we just somehow lost our own directions

We will all be just fine when we find out our own true self nature

The only way I know how to find our true nature within is by meditation



I agree, meditation is a good way to feel better but asperger syndrome explain well the difficulties :) I'm wait for my diagnosis and I recognise me in the post of equilibrium ^^'
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