How U react when your husband kiss your butt cheek everyday?

Postby ishe » Sun Mar 08, 2015 2:09 pm

I recently got married in a quick and simple City Hall/Courthouse ceremony on February 6th with my then boyfriend, now husband.... Hubby work 2 jobs, everyday he working 12-14 hours shift, so he is tired.... We both didn't have the mind to plan a wedding, and we want to avoid the stress overall.

So we still newlywed; we only into our second month of marriage.... When we were dating, I know my husband is an affectionate guy, and after marriage he still as affectionate as before.... But umm, he kiss my 'butt cheek' everyday. Is this what guys usually do to their wife?
Sexually, I only been with one guy and that is my husband. So sometimes he do the things he do, it make me wonder if other guys out there do it too.

At first I thought hubby only kiss my butt cheek when it naked, but Nope! Even clothed on, like when I have underwear or jeans on, he still kiss my butt cheek. Everytime we in bed together, or he see me lying in bed, he kiss it.... I let him do it, it just kindda make me feel a bit awkward, it feels funny.

He does Not spank my butt, not even light spanking. He not do kinky/freaky stuff to my butt.... Our sex life is "Vanilla", just the traditional sex. None of us are into kinky stuff. He just simply put his lips on my butt cheek and give it a kiss.
I think it become a routine now, he been doing this everyday since we got married.... So the 'butt cheek' kiss is normal right? Good sign in a marriage?

In my childhood, I grew up in a family that rather COLD, there was no showing affection between parents and children. There was no saying ‘I love you’. There was no hugs, no goodnight kisses. No physical display of affection between children, parents, relatives family, etc...
So growing up my whole life not seeing affection. When my hubby kiss my buttock, it make me feel somewhat kindda awkward.... I guess all the affection he washing all over me at once, I’m overwhelmed. I’m just NOT used to it... yet

I was wondering, would you like it if your husband kiss your butt cheek everyday?.... Do you feel funny/awkward if your husband do this?
How would you react if you husband randomly just put his lips on your buttock and kiss it? What is the 'correct' way to response back to him?.... I mean if this is what he likes to do so he can feel love by his wife, then I guess keep let him do it until he get bored right?


Any inputs/advice, or help answer the questions in italic is appreciate. Thank you.

---------------------
Our marriage seem fine so far. He still the same guy that I know before, nothing about him change.
Oh, and every single day after he came home from work; doesn’t matter how late it is, he would give me a long kiss everytime he walk in the door.... I don’t know if he gonna get bored from doing this in the future, but so far I get this everyday since we got married... AND the butt cheek kiss is everyday too when we in bed.
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#1

Postby Herbie306 » Sun Mar 08, 2015 2:29 pm

ishe wrote:When my hubby kiss my buttock, it make me feel somewhat kindda awkward.... I guess all the affection he washing all over me at once, I’m overwhelmed. I’m just NOT used to it... yet

I was wondering, would you like it if your husband kiss your butt cheek everyday?.... Do you feel funny/awkward if your husband do this?
How would you react if you husband randomly just put his lips on your buttock and kiss it? What is the 'correct' way to response back to him?.... I mean if this is what he likes to do so he can feel love by his wife, then I guess keep let him do it until he get bored right?

What other people may or may not feel is not the issue here - it's about the two of you and your feelings (particularly of love for each other). There is no blanket 'correct' way to respond because everybody has the potential to react differently to these experiences.

Maybe you could gently approach him about it, perhaps just saying how you feel when he does it.

I wish you both well.
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#2

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Mar 08, 2015 2:34 pm

Every relationship is different. Some men like the breasts, others the butt, others the stomach or neck, etc. I think he is just trying to be affectionate.
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#3

Postby WonderGurl » Sun Mar 08, 2015 8:00 pm

ishe wrote:In my childhood, I grew up in a family that rather COLD, there was no showing affection between parents and children. There was no saying ‘I love you’. There was no hugs, no goodnight kisses. No physical display of affection between children, parents, relatives family, etc...
So growing up my whole life not seeing affection. When my hubby kiss my buttock, it make me feel somewhat kindda awkward.... I guess all the affection he washing all over me at once, I’m overwhelmed. I’m just NOT used to it... yet

I was wondering, would you like it if your husband kiss your butt cheek everyday?.... Do you feel funny/awkward if your husband do this?
How would you react if you husband randomly just put his lips on your buttock and kiss it? What is the 'correct' way to response back to him?.... I mean if this is what he likes to do so he can feel love by his wife, then I guess keep let him do it until he get bored right?


If you're not used to affection, it can be awkward at first. Try to relax, notice the sensations you experience when he touches your body, including kisses on your butt, and enjoy it.

Why would you want him to get bored?
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#4

Postby ishe » Tue Apr 14, 2015 6:43 pm

Hi, just revisiting this thead of mine. Time sure goes by fast, it already third month into my marriage. And my husband STILL kiss my butt cheek! Well I kindda get used to it now.

Usually when I lay in bed, he would simple put his lips on my butt cheek an kiss it. I always feel awkward about it, but for the first time now I giggles.. I giggles and I gave him a hug. He was so happy that I now 'enjoy' it and that I 'appreciate' his kiss.

So now my husband think I'm comfortable with him kiss my body. Last time he kiss my butt cheek, then he kiss my thigh, and down to my leg too. Uh.. he likes to kiss too much, is this normal?
And my body is not attractive. I'm just a 4'11 petite girl, I don't know why he likes to kiss all over my body.

I think I married an ass-man.
I know he attracted to my butt when we dating, because I caught him stare/look at my butt before. But I didn't know he went to the extreme of still kissing my butt cheek after we already married for 3 months. And he still do it everyday whenever we in bed together.

And we know each others total of 4 years, and our distance is ridiculously close too. We live in the same neighbhorhood that was how we met, dated and married.
When you live in the same neighborhood, you each others on the daily basic; so the sparks and flirting would died out fast. I'm surprise he still find me attractive after he married me.

I know it normal for a husband to kiss his wife butt cheek. But I feel awkward, and I think the reason that make me feel awkward is due to me being a virgin. I heard that virgin can take months and months in order to be fully comfortable in bed with their husband, right?
Sexually I only have one guy, that is my husband. So Uh.. I'm still trying to get used to all these affection stuff.
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#5

Postby Candid » Tue Apr 14, 2015 7:52 pm

Candid wrote:What more could you want from a potential husband? Because your username, IS HE?, suggests we're going to be working through a list of your worries about him. ~ viewtopic.php?t=91859&p=824064#p824064


I was right.

As far as I can see the only thing that's changed since January is that you've married him. Unless he's given up his criminal connections? Or your mother has met him and approves?

I think I married an ass-man.


I think you did, too. But really, if his fuckem and chuckem attitude to women, his preference for drug-dealing thugs and all the other worries you had about him didn't put you off, nothing anyone said here was going to get through to you.

I'm surprise he still find me attractive after he married me.


Back in January you were asking how you could get him to dump you, because for some reason it was your duty to take care of his mother, do all his housework and have sex you didn't enjoy until he'd had enough of you. (Same thread, post 39). Obviously marrying him didn't do the trick; he still likes having sex with you and all the other benefits, regardless of how you feel about it.

Congratulations on your marriage, by the way. It's always handy to have someone around who'll remind you which shoes to wear when it's raining.
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#6

Postby ishe » Tue Apr 14, 2015 10:43 pm

To Candid,

In my other thread, I think I explained very clearly that my husband is NOT a Drug-dealing thugs. It was his childhood friends that got involved in Trafficking/possession hardcore drugs. But that are his friends, him is him. It is fair to hold him liable for something that his friends do? Something that he have no control over with?
I remember in that thread, posters there reply and said it is NOT fair to held him liable for something this buddies do.

In that thread, I also explained clearly that my husband have NO criminal records.
He work as Truck driver. Being a Truck driver required No DUI, No DOT violations, passed all DOT physical and dress test. No positive Drugs or Alcohol test, passed all Criminal and background check.
And they also give truck drivers random Drugs test too.

Whether in USA, or UK, I'm sure all Truck driver have to passed all Drugs test before a job given to them. So again, my husband doesn't do drugs.
Why held him liable for the drugs that his childhood friends too?

My abusive Chinese mother didn't approve him. It have nothing to do with his job or who he is as a person. It solely because he is Black, that is why my mother dislike him. I mentioned this in my other thread.

We got married on February 6th, in a simple and quick City Hall/Courthouse ceremony. With two witness: his mother and my older brother.
I married him with nothing, without an engagement ring, without a wedding reception, without a honeymoon. In defense of my husband, it was me that choose not to have all that.
I did all these to protect him, IF one day he regret this marriage, at least there wasn’t much of any money spend on it.
I have No regrets though. He is an awesome awesome husband!!

There was no point of me having a wedding because nobody on my sides of the family going to show up. Hope that make sense.
Pretty much mom disown me, she have not talk to me since the day I got married. Now I only phone back home to talk to my old father. I do miss my father very much.

Eventhough we didn't have a wedding. Marriage is fine so far, we both are happy. Husband is working 12-14 hours everyday so we can have enough money for a house down-payment. We both working and if Financial go as plan, we can move out of this cheap rent area neighborhood in 2016

Thank you for your congratulations. And he never asked me to take of his mother. It was me that voluntary to help take care of her because in my Chinese culture, it is important to take care of your mother in-law. I think I said that clearly in that thread too.
He talk about marriage before, and I drag it until February, and I told him let get married at the Courthouse, to make it quick and easy due to the circumstances with my abusive mother. Beside the City Hall/Courthouse wedding, I don't think there much choice for me.
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#7

Postby ishe » Tue Apr 14, 2015 11:02 pm

And Uh.. it not sex that I don't enjoy. It that a virgin take a while to enjoy sex with their man. You were a virgin before, did you enjoy sex the first time?
I am 4'11 petite height girl, he is a 6'1 height tall guy. That is 14 inches difference between us. What you expect me to do, enjoy sex the first time?

Sure, I got worried during sex. I already explained that in my other thread. His childhood friends got arrested for hardcore drugs; I worried because he hang around with them, he might get arrested for being in the same place with them even when he doesn't do any drugs himself.
It normal to get worried over this because I care for him.

Anyways, all these have been talk throughly in my old thread. No need to bring it back up here. It derail this thread topic.
And so what if I want to help take care of his mother? I'm not a selfish person, I care for him so I care for his mother too.
All these stuff is derail this thread, I don't see any point of bring it back up. We are married now, I choose to married him so I will pay for all the consequences of my choice.
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#8

Postby ishe » Wed Apr 15, 2015 12:40 am

And why you so negative in everything? Regarding to my husband remind me to wear shoe instead of high heels when I go out in the pouring rain. That is controlling to you? Some others see that simply as caring.

Let me ask others this question:
It is pouring heavy rain outside. I am a 4'11 petite height girl. I always like to wear high heels because it helps make me look taller.. My husband know I'm used to wear high heels everywhere go. So when it heavy rain outside, he remind me to wear shoe intead, because he thinks I wear high heels I might slip in the rain.

Is this controlling or caring? Why have to look at this in a negative way, why not just look at it an positive way that he simply care for his wife well being.
How it is controlling when a husband simply mean: Baby, it raining heavy outside. Wear shoe instead, wear high heels you might slip in the rain.

So let me know your opinion, is this controlling or simply he just care for his petite height wife? I think he say it simply out of caring for me.
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#9

Postby Candid » Wed Apr 15, 2015 11:56 am

ishe wrote:In my other thread, I think I explained very clearly that my husband is NOT a Drug-dealing thugs. It was his childhood friends that got involved in Trafficking/possession hardcore drugs.


The point was that you were worried sick he would be caught in some crossfire with his drug-dealing, gun-toting friends from the ghetto. These were legitimate worries, you kept saying. You thought he might get shot. Or arrested.

It that a virgin take a while to enjoy sex with their man. You were a virgin before, did you enjoy sex the first time?


I didn't find it repellant, as you do. I didn't run a poll as to whether I should end my relationship. You've been with this guy more than a year now, right?

Sure, I got worried during sex.


You started to enjoy it one time then you realised you would be more hooked on a man you knew was bad for you. Have I got that right?

Regarding to my husband remind me to wear shoe instead of high heels when I go out in the pouring rain. That is controlling to you? Some others see that simply as caring.
... while others wonder why anyone over the age of six needs to be told it's raining.

Let me ask others this question:
It is pouring heavy rain outside. I am a 4'11 petite height girl. I always like to wear high heels because it helps make me look taller.. My husband know I'm used to wear high heels everywhere go. So when it heavy rain outside, he remind me to wear shoe intead, because he thinks I wear high heels I might slip in the rain.


This seems to be a big deal, this shoe thing, so I'm wondering: Do you not notice it's raining unless he tells you? Do you not make the connection between sensible shoes and weather conditions? Sure, it makes sense to wear non-slip in slippery conditions. That isn't the question. The question, I suppose, is how you managed not to break an ankle before he came along. And why this is such a big deal to you.

But the real issue and point of this thread is that you're still not comfortable with your sex life. You've got over wondering whether this is just "purely physical sex" to him, you're fine with him hanging out with the gun-totin' drug crowd, you don't care that your mother thinks he's a bad egg -- and it still isn't working. You've been with him more than a year now and you still haven't got a clue what to do with him.

I don't know what's going on there, ishe. All I know is what you write on the forum. It just seems to me that this relationship has been one long worry from the start: is he just using you for sex (as he boasted he had with previous girlfriends); is he going to get killed while hanging out in the ghetto; why doesn't your family like him; and now, why does he persist in kissing your butt? It's your marriage, three months in, and you've been asking strangers on line what you should do about it since before you were married.

A chosen relationship such as boyfriend or husband ought to lighten your load, add to your happiness. For some reason this one increases your responsibility and is a source of constant worry.

Seeing as you've asked about my early sexual experience, I'll tell you this for free: I never asked anyone what was okay and what wasn't, much less a bunch of people I didn't even know. If I hadn't liked it, I wouldn't have gone back for seconds. To me that's simple. I understood in your other threads that it wasn't so simple for you, but I still don't know why.

So why not ask HIM why he has to keep kissing your butt? And if you don't like it, why not tell him that? ... and what you do like?
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#10

Postby bert_ernie » Wed Apr 15, 2015 1:21 pm

it seems like he just wants to physically connect with you. eg we can be connected physically, emotionally, mentally & maybe other ways too.

different people may show their love in different ways. you should try embracing it. like when you hugged him that time it showed that you returned his physical affection so he would've felt more closely connected to you perhaps.

a 2-way street is probably more enjoyable than a 1-way street. but they're certainly no roundabouts. or highways. i think i need to turn off out of this metaphor/analogy thing.
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#11

Postby ishe » Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:19 am

Thank you bert_ernie, I just think I'm being a virgin and he is the only man in my life sexually, so I'm still trying to get used to all this.

We were friends prior to dating. We in a committed relationship for more than a year. But I did not give him sex until about one year in. So I make him wait about a year before we have sex.
It normal for sex to be awkward for someone who is a virgin.

I'm sure there are virgin out there who take many months in order to be fully comfortable in sex. There those in Christinity/Catholic Forum save themselves for their wedding night and they still awkward about sex. Not everyone is expert in sex you know.

Last time when he kiss my butt cheek, I giggles and hug him back. And uh.. this lead to sex. He probably just being a doting husband. Having an affeciotnate husband is a good thing I guess.
People told me I'm just over-thinking and over-analyze things, I should just relax and enjoy his kissing.

Sorry, too much TMI ahead...
When we have sex, he looks at my facial expressions. He also kisses alot during intercourse. He kiss my face, neck, shouders, lips, he do all that while thrusting down there.
I think he is a multi-tasked husband, lol
He always been like this, even when I gave him my V-card before we get married. Sex is good, it just I'm so new to all this.

I know he is a caring guy in bed. It clearly he is not selfish at all. I guess I should accept this is his 'style' of affections.
I did mentioned above that I have a cold childhood and an abusive mother, so I didn't get any affections at all in my childhood. And now getting alot of affections from my husband, I'm not used to it.

I do wondering if the things he do is normal, because sexually I only have one man, that is him. So sometimes I do wonder if other men out there do what he do. You know what I mean? It just a wondering thought that go through my head
Like his butt cheek kiss, I do wonder if this is a normal thing that all husband do to their wife. I wonder if other guys out there do it too.

I'm not Christian, but perhaps I should go join a Christian Forum, then my questions about sex would be normal there. Because there many virgins in Chistian/Catholic Forum who also inexperience when it come to sex. I know I'm not the only one, not everyone jump in sex and be an expert it in.
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#12

Postby bert_ernie » Thu Apr 16, 2015 1:10 pm

what is normal? who cares what is normal? your question is fine. it's fine to be awkward. it's fine to be nervous.

i'm just saying regardless of what is normal, regardless of if you feel awkward now. that if you gradually relax & release the tension & fears & embrace your partner then you will both probably enjoy each other even more than you do already. not trying to judge you, just reassure you you're doing fine. everything is fine.
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#13

Postby ishe » Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:29 pm

And stop with the my husband is a bad egg. Who give a s-h-i-t what my abusive Chinese mother think of him. She doesn't even know his name, let alone his job or him as a person.
My Chinese mother is a racist woman, who hate him because of his skin color. She never met him before, she refused to met him. As soon as she know his skin color, she reject him immediately.

Anyone here who is a good heart person would know this is not fair. We are in 2015 already, stop it with all the racist/discrimination againts someone solely based on their skin color.

And so what if my husband childhood friends do Drugs. They are his friends, what does that have to do with him? Stop wtih the Unfair/Bias holding him responsible for something that his childhood friends do. What his friends do, he have no control over.
His friends doesn't need to ask him for permission before they do something, they just childhood friends.
Can YOU control what others or what your friends do?

Again, my husband is a Truck driver. He passed all Drugs test, as well as passed all Criminal background check in order to get the job.
My husband doesn't smoke, doesn't drink. He doesn't even smoke a cigarette. He wouldn't be a Truck drive if he drink. As a Truck driver, he have to passed random drugs test by the company. He passed all his random Drugs test so he can keep his job.
So No, he is not a bad egg. Be fair in your judgement alright.

And he have no Criminal records. He doens't have any Baby-mama. He doesn't have any kids. This is his first marriage.
This is first marriage for both of us. I'm 30 and he is 29, we both way passed Adults age. Morally we can be together, we didn't commit any sin.

So what if he have few one night stand in his past. All these happened before he met me.
Those one night stand was just 'purely physical sex' to him. He said it himself that both party agree to have sex, and he left right after sex. There was no emotional feelings into it, and he always wear a condom on 'one night stand'
So what is wrong? Nothing is wrong with my husband, he just like any other men out there. Like millions and millions of other men out there who also have one night stand.
My husband is actually smarter than somen other men. He knows to wear a condom, there men out there doesn't even remember that.

So what if his childhood friends or others guys in the Ghetto that have alot of Baby-mama. Again, that is his friends, it have zero, zip, nothing to do with him. I don't care what his friends do, I only care what my husband do.

I would like this thread to stay on topic please. It will be my last reply regarding this. I think I explained it well enough.
What my husband's childhood friends do have nothing related to how he is as a "husband' to me.
I am a virgin, well not anymore since I'm married. But as a virgin who is sexually inexperience. It is normal for me to get uncomfortable in sex. And I am learning everyday about sex in my marriage life.
I know I will get fully comfortable one day, the awkwardness will get better. I'm only 3 months into marriage.

And this was my thread when I lost my V-card to my husband. Who was my boyfriend at the time.
viewtopic.php?t=91735
The replies in this thead I get is that my husband is caring guy in bed. And the issue is on my end, because I'm sexually inexperience. My husband clearly didn't do anything wrong in this thread neither. So what wrong? Because he Black? Arg!! Can we PLEASE not judge someone based on their skin color?

And those that doesn't judge my husband because he is Black. THANK YOU, you a have good heart. God bless you.
Thank you bert_ernie, you didn't judge my husband at all. THANK YOU, God bless you.
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#14

Postby Candid » Thu Apr 16, 2015 9:56 pm

ishe wrote:Anyone here who is a good heart person would know this is not fair. We are in 2015 already, stop it with all the racist/discrimination againts someone solely based on their skin color.


You're the only person mentioning race and skin colour on your threads. I don't see how it's relevant, really.

Nor is anyone here saying he smokes, drinks, takes drugs, has either a criminal record or children with other women. It's unusual for a wife to have to keep saying all that, but I believe you.

Nothing is wrong with my husband.


Great!

as a virgin who is sexually inexperience. It is normal for me to get uncomfortable in sex.


Is he?, you haven't been a virgin since the first time you had sex with your boyfriend. I find it strange that you were uncomfortable about it and married him anyway, but that's none of my business. Plenty of people never get enthusiastic about sex. It's only a problem if one person wants it five times a day and the other thinks twice a week is too much, because compromise will make them both feel resentful.

What people do to and with each other in bed isn't worth posting on an 'open' forum like this one. I have no doubt there are other forums where people discuss every weirdo trick in the book, but I've never felt inclined to go looking for them. Nothing you've described is pornographic. Far from it; the TMI you posted is very basic. Your first post here, at the end of last year, said all the same things. At that point it bothered you that he looked at you during sex.

Usually couples work out what both of them like, and stay with it. As long as it is what both of them like, they keep it to themselves. Intimacy is breached when you start telling anyone else about kissing, thrusting and looking at you. I'm beginning to wonder if you'd like more or different but are afraid to say so. If being looked at is the problem, get some thick curtains, wait until dark, and obviously, have the lights out. Get wild and crazy with the mystery until you're more than comfortable with it and think you'd like to take a peek. I don't think he'll complain, especially if it means you can relax, he gets more, and you both feel freer to experiment.

And I am learning everyday about sex in my marriage life.
I know I will get fully comfortable one day, the awkwardness will get better. I'm only 3 months into marriage.


So... nothing wrong with your husband, sex life improving... Please remind me, what was the purpose of this thread?
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