Loving Life Without Weed

Postby kickingthehabit » Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:51 pm

Hey there everyone,
I'm starting a new thread because quitting this time around feels so different from the last time and I feel like I have a new lease on life! Also, I'm drinking coffee again, which I'm happy to report, I am drinking in moderation now.

It's Day 3 today and it's much easier going through withdrawal this time. My sister was confused when I told her that. I explained, "Quitting was hard, not withdrawal."
It's not definitely not easy but it's not as difficult as it could be for several reasons - I had gone through a worse withdrawal the last time I quit, I know what to expect, I know how to recognize what's going on in my subconscious mind, I know why I'm quitting, and this forum (especially wakinglife's thread) has helped keep me on track.

I've gone through many relapses in the past that I can recount by flipping through my journal entries. (It's really funny looking back at previous entries when I used to be ignorant of MJ withdrawal symptoms. I would write about strange dreams and I didn't know they were due to withdrawal.) It's amazing how strong human denial can be. Even reading through the many regretful entries didn't stop me from thinking, "Oh, that was then, this is now. I can control myself." or "This time will be different." HOW the hell is it going to be different?! I like that someone quoted Einstein's description of insanity on this forum - doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think it's pretty clear that the majority of us do the same thing - get high, munch out while watching meaningless videos that we won't remember (I did this all the time).

It feels SO great to actually remember things. I didn't think that would be one of the greatest benefits but it is! Being clear-minded and actually using my brain is no longer dreadful or a chore, but such a blessing. It's so great to go outside and actually enjoy the weather without wishing I was high to enjoy it better.

I now look forward to working out and reading. When I smoked, I would look forward to it and thinking that weed might enhance the activity, I would toke and not do anything I was planning on doing. It just doesn't work.

This morning, I woke up in a crappy mood and I was being very careful not to snap at people because I knew it was due to withdrawal (and PMS - ya feel me ladies?) I got food in my system and I felt SO much better. I took a nap again shortly after, and I felt even better after that. Sleep really is one of the best medicines when going through withdrawal.
Do any of you guys feel super tired while withdrawing? I can't tell if it's PMS or PAWS. My sister says she feels like she has a mental veil - like she's green-hazed alllll the time.

Anyways, I'll continue to update. Let's stay strong together. We can do it!

THERE IS A REWARD. Let's keep our eyes on the prize. WINNING~
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#1

Postby helengleaves » Mon Mar 30, 2015 9:27 pm

Hey!
So proud of what you've got through, that's amazing :)
I've never really thought of stopping smoking weed, but now I see myself in a lot of the problems you've mentioned, especially not being able to remember things. When you said "When I smoked, I would look forward to it and thinking that weed might enhance the activity", though, that kinda opened my eyes a lot... I hadn't noticed that my mentality had become that, too.

Keep updating us, I'd love to know how everything is going for you :)
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#2

Postby kickingthehabit » Tue Mar 31, 2015 5:02 pm

Hey helengleaves!
Thanks so much for the encouraging post. I will most definitely be updating on how I'm doing. No offense at all, just curious, if you're not quitting weed, what brings you to this forum?
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#3

Postby kickingthehabit » Tue Mar 31, 2015 5:10 pm

Day 4
Yesterday, I realized weed is a lot like Chinese water torture - one drop at a time doesn't seem so bad just like one toke doesn't seem so bad. You don't see the negative impact until you get hundreds and thousands of drops dripping until a hollow forms.

MJ isn't as innocuous as society and culture has made it out to be. I was definitely wrapped up in the lies that my brother STILL believes about weed. He's an even bigger stoner than I am and while living together it was so hard to keep off of the stuff, especially because I wanted to please him and because he was so much nicer when he was high. I also kept smoking with the excuse that I was much nicer high, and that stopped me from quitting. After quitting, I thought I'd be mean or bitchy, but it turns out, my real personality is freakin awesome! :lol:

Talib Kweli says in a rap:

I used to smoke so much weed that it clouded my brain
I took a break, had to find life's meaning again
Without the smoke in my lungs I started dreaming again...

...And when you snooze that's when you meet the cousin of death
So when I say I never visited the cousin, I don't sleep
I stay awake to the ways of the world cause sh** is deep (dream)
I've got dreams to remember

Literally, we start dreaming again when we stop smoking, but figuratively as well.

I'm starting to read more books and the huge benefit of quitting is that I can actually apply what I'm learning - because I remember what I'm reading, I'm not procrastinating to do it when I'm sober, and I'm not afraid.

This morning, as I was reading one of the business books I had been planning on reading for a long time (I'm going to the library again!), I had a huge epiphany that will improve my teaching studio drastically. I've already taken actionable steps to make the changes necessary and I know more change will happen steadily. I'm going to be a better teacher now to my students, and I know that will lead me to get more students, which means more money, which means I can do even more for my studio!

Thanks guys for reading and hope you guys are loving life without weed as well. Stay strong. Love and peace to you all <3
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#4

Postby JuliusFawcett » Tue Mar 31, 2015 7:11 pm

Changing our self talk is the key to change our experience of the world.

This video can help you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGgnx4f ... YwdCN2DLoN
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#5

Postby kickingthehabit » Thu Apr 02, 2015 2:47 pm

Day 6
I think I thought about weed only once yesterday - right before I fell asleep because that's when I used to smoke with my sister. Life is getting better and better, because I'm really experiencing the present moment and engaging with it, rather than being hazed throughout it and not remembering it later. I'm loving people better now and changing my perspective on many things in my life. I'm still struggling with insomnia, but I'm dealing with it in stride.
I wanted to share an inspiring story with you guys; not related to weed, but it's a touching story that's about overcoming extreme difficulty and living life to the fullest. It really struck a chord with me this morning and I hope it resonates with you as well (watch the video that's at the bottom):
http://fbshare.sfglobe.com/2014/11/24/c ... _new_20016

Have a great day guys and give today everything you've got. Hugs~
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#6

Postby kickingthehabit » Fri Apr 03, 2015 10:17 pm

Day 7
It feels great to be ending my weed-free week! I was pretty lethargic today but going out to a cafe to eat and read has been great. It's hard to stay productive whether you're high or not, but NOT being high helps immensely. If I had smoked today, I would definitely not have taken action to work on my teaching studio and stayed as productive as I have today.
I've written some goals and one of my major goals is to get more students to increase my income. I don't have new students just yet but I have some great ideas that I'm in the process of implementing, so hopefully, things will change soon.

Hope you all are doing great!
Peace and hugs~
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#7

Postby kickingthehabit » Thu Apr 09, 2015 6:09 pm

WOW. I am amazed at how much I'm getting done now that I don't smoke. I hardly think about it anymore and if I do, it's without the desire and affinity that used to accompany the thoughts. I just think, "Oh yeah... I used to do that and waste so much time..."
I'm noticing that the habit of smoking weed increased my level of procrastination and I'm finally growing out of that.

I just wanted to share the little accomplishments that I've achieved lately because I'm not smoking!

(I'm finally doing the little things that I had been putting off for weeks)
I filed my taxes! YEEEEAH.
I'm eating clean so I'm suddenly getting the results that I'd been missing in my bodybuilding. (Bye bye mindless munchies!) 100% nutrition + 20% exercise guys!
I'm scheduling recitals and meetings for my studio.
I'm more prepared for my students and their recitals.
I'm scheduling to collaborate with people to record music.
I'm staying on top of my websites.
I'm going to start blogging consistently again.

Now that I'm breaking away from weed AGAIN, it's easier to do. My desire to break free is stronger and as Tony Robbins strongly suggests, I am associating more pain with the act of doing it.
This could help you If you're having trouble quitting: write down all of the negatives that's associated with smoking and remind yourself of all of those bad feelings. Remind yourself that there IS a reward for quitting. The changes may be subtle at first but it all adds up and when you look back, you'll be amazed at how much has changed for the better! Today was such a day for me.

Good luck and wishing you all another amazing smoke-free day :)
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#8

Postby Wave » Thu Apr 09, 2015 8:37 pm

Too true on focusing in the positives. Communicating with people not stoned is so much better for me. I too have had moments of getting far more done without having to break for vape breaks and so pleasant not smelling weed anywhere.

Like you I have failed many times but feel this time is the one, already feel it is the right thing to do and cravings are mega bad, distraction is helping with that.

Great reading your story. Keep up the good work!
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#9

Postby kickingthehabit » Thu Apr 09, 2015 10:34 pm

Thanks Wave!
Yeah, I thought it would be harder to communicate with people while sober, but I'm finding that I actually have more patience and really engage with them.
Sorry to hear about your cravings; I whole-heartedly agree with distractions! I love staying busy.
Keep it up and thanks for your post~
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#10

Postby Ade,wales » Fri Apr 10, 2015 12:12 am

hi kicking
ur doing real good.u sound like my start. i had crazy first month. feeling amazing , getting loads done, positive about everything, like i just woke up from bumbling along in life not doing anything much and realising i can have a good productive life. keep at it

i did also have moments when things didnt feel so great. i hope u dont. but push thru it. it wont last long
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#11

Postby Wave » Fri Apr 10, 2015 12:58 am

Yea the cravings aren't too bad as in they are there but I never think must get some bud again. I love the positively of your quit and has really made me feel I should acknowledge when things are good, which I have.

Taking vitamins and tyrosine seems root really lift my mood and being so down was partly the reason I failed last time. Learnt a big lesson and know what to expect more.
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#12

Postby kickingthehabit » Sat Apr 11, 2015 5:53 pm

Thanks Ade,wales and Wave! Loving the encouragement and loving LIFE!
Ade,wales, yeah, I do have moments when life sucks for a few minutes - especially, lately, what I've been struggling with are my thoughts. I'm not used to being so aware all the time that at times, it can be overwhelming. I stress about minor things and it's hard to stop thinking about certain things, like - "wow, that girl at the gym is really glaring at me; why is she such a bitch to me all the time?" or "man, I have to get this and this and this all done today..." but every time I notice that I'm stressing and wrinkling my forehead, I break into a smile and breathe slowly. IT HELPS SO MUCH.

It's been over 2 weeks now; Day 15 today and I can't express how much life has changed already. I want to stress again how much better this quit has been and everything I'd gone through the last time is helping me so much. The most beneficial things as of late that I'd recommend to anyone who's trying to quit are:
-reading (motivational, personal development, business books)
-lifting (drinking protein and tons of water, take your vitamins! Good point Wave)
-podcasts (I love Hal Elrod, BiggerPockets, The Fat-Burning Man)

Have you guys ever heard the quote, "When one is definitely committed, Providence moves." - Goethe; and "Heaven helps those who help themselves."
When I started smoking again, I was afraid that God or the "Universe" wasn't really helping me because I wasn't really committed to myself and my endeavors. I wondered what would change if I quit. Well, small, but great things have been coming to me and happening that are out of my control, because I started committing more and more to what I CAN control. I can tell that Providence is really moving on my behalf. Although I'm in the early stages of development and I know nothing's perfect or ever will be, I'm excited for the turns that my life is going to make. "Just do your best, and let God do the rest."

If you're going through a tough time,
SMILE like this :D ,
Breathe
and go slowly.

Trust the process and you'll see progress :wink:
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#13

Postby Actualizing intent » Sat Apr 11, 2015 6:01 pm

Great post!! I am quitting tomorrow- by the grace of God and my own power too-.
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#14

Postby kickingthehabit » Sat Apr 11, 2015 6:02 pm

Awesome! Let us know how you're doing! Love the name: Actualizing Intent.
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