Loving Life Without Weed

#30

Postby kickingthehabit » Sat Jul 18, 2015 2:59 am

Going through withdrawal again... the worst part of it are the cravings.
I feel like I'm living R. Kelly's song Bump N Grind:
My mind's telling me NOOOO, but my body, my body keeps telling me YEEEEEAAHHHH...
sh**. It's hard. I feel shittier than I have in a while and it's a good reminder to not smoke ever. again.
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#31

Postby Wave » Sat Jul 18, 2015 9:35 am

Good job with staying quit. My 3rd attempt I managed around 100 days, and this quit I relapsed 71 days but carried on. I couldn't believe how such a little effected my sleep so much and my mood, was a massive reminder to not go back to it again!

Changing your mindset is the most powerful thing you can do, along with exercise which is sounds like you are managing.

Keep up the good work and after 20 days I was sleeping well again, so hopefully its not too long for you!
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#32

Postby kickingthehabit » Sat Jul 18, 2015 5:00 pm

THANKS WAVE!
I'm SO SO SO SO SO happy I didn't cave because I feel SOOOOO MUCH BETTER!
All yesterday I was acting like a little PMS-ing bitch - tired, depressed, irritable, but I have so much more energy today and I'm much happier overall.
I woke up a couple times last night but I still feel like I got enough sleep.

Yes, I'm working on my mindset every morning and still working out almost everyday. The consequences of smoking last SO much longer than people think...
On to another day!
Have a great day everyone~
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#33

Postby Wave » Sun Jul 19, 2015 10:53 am

Excellent news. From a relapse the withdrawal is less and way less in duration, so something to give a lot of hope!!

Keep going, your doing real good! :D
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#34

Postby kickingthehabit » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:33 pm

Thanks Wave! I just saw your post.

I smoked once again to celebrate something, and I instantly regretted it. I threw it all out again, a few hours later and I'm glad I did. It's been about 20 days, and I can tell I'm still withdrawing. I quit coffee and dairy as well, so it's been a rough past two weeks.
At first, it was going really well - I was eating right, working out, and everything else I knew I should be doing. Lately, I've been bumming around, eating everything in sight (no meat/dairy), but I could tell I was going through somewhat of a depression. I feel better after having journaled and doing some psychoanalysis. It feels good to know that I'm taking huge strides towards the right direction, even if I have been taking some tiny steps back.
I read a great article on James Clear's blog about "Tiny Gains" and it helped me to realize that I was trying to do SO MUCH at once. Of course, quitting a drug is best done cold turkey, but the gains I was trying to make in the gym, business, and life in general shouldn't have been all or nothing. No more self-sabotage!
The fog is still there but hopefully it will lift soon. I couldn't be happier that I've quit weed for good. No matter how many relapses it takes, I'm going to try to stay clean for the rest of my life - that's for sure!
Hope everyone's doing well. Stay strong!
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#35

Postby kickingthehabit » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:51 pm

"IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I WIN."
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#36

Postby Wave » Wed Aug 26, 2015 6:29 pm

kickingthehabit wrote:Thanks Wave! I just saw your post.

I smoked once again to celebrate something, and I instantly regretted it. I threw it all out again, a few hours later and I'm glad I did. It's been about 20 days, and I can tell I'm still withdrawing. I quit coffee and dairy as well, so it's been a rough past two weeks


Great to hear from you. There are some serious similarities on our stories. I also slipped up while out partying and had regretted it ever since. Mood is less stable and sleep is again horrendous without sleeping tablets. So annoyed as sleep was actually working out really well!

kickingthehabit wrote:......it helped me to realize that I was trying to do SO MUCH at once. Of course, quitting a drug is best done cold turkey, but the gains I was trying to make in the gym, business, and life in general shouldn't have been all or nothing. No more self-sabotage!
The fog is still there but hopefully it will lift soon. I couldn't be happier that I've quit weed for good. No matter how many relapses it takes, I'm going to try to stay clean for the rest of my life - that's for sure!
Hope everyone's doing well. Stay strong!


I have also been trying to increase career, lose weight and quit weed at the same time. I also want to try and get rid of "dead time" in my life so TV, computer games and sitting around and doing nothing. At points it goes really well and then suddenly I am in a phase of being really lazy again.

I just think if I was successful the first time I was on this forum I would be 2+ years clean but instead less than 1 month again. One good thing though is that since I have been off weed so much the last 4 months the withdrawal from my last slip up has been really mild in comparison to when I was quitting from everyday, so some progress.
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#37

Postby kickingthehabit » Wed Aug 26, 2015 7:50 pm

Thanks for sharing Wave! That's good to know that the work we've done before relapsing hasn't gone to waste. I have to agree that the initial withdrawal effects aren't as bad as the first go-around.

They say "Three steps forward, two steps back." and I always hated that two steps back part of it. It is great that we are making progress but I do wish I wouldn't slip up because the aftermath is just SO LONG and affects every part of our lives.

I TOTALLY get what you mean by dead time. I have a LOT of free time because I'm self-employed and I have a lot of goals, but I find myself doing a lot of unproductive things too. The habits I had built up while being a stoner die really hard - eating bad food while watching bad TV, eating mindlessly while browsing the internet, etc. I end up hating myself for it when I lie down to go to bed when I realize how my day had gone, but I realized this morning while I was journaling that I need a balance of toughness and forgiveness towards myself.

Otherwise, that lack of forgiveness towards yourself will grip you from moving on. The guilt bottles you up but letting it go frees you. At least, that's what I think for now! So I'm trying to learn how to make small gains everyday - small enough that I'm not dreading the task or afraid to try, but making consistent efforts everyday.
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#38

Postby kickingthehabit » Thu Aug 27, 2015 1:50 pm

Day 21
Last night, I exercised for the first time in the longest time. It wasn't long, but it was really intense. It was the best thing I had done in a while! I felt SO HAPPY afterwards, even though I really didn't want to do it. I had so much energy and I definitely didn't have that fog anymore. The only downside was that it was difficult to fall asleep but I just took that as extra incentive to exercise earlier in the day.
Today, I'm going to exercise earlier and it's going to be a great day.
HAVE A GREAT DAY Y'ALL!
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#39

Postby kickingthehabit » Sat Sep 05, 2015 11:31 pm

Day 30
As the withdrawal symptoms go away, I also think that the bad memories associated with weed goes away a little at a time, and I find myself trying to justify weed once again. Am I crazy or what? I go through HELL AND BACK just to find myself questioning if I should go back again. YEAH. I'M CRAZY. My stoner brother's coming to town tomorrow, and I already know I'm not going to smoke for sure. It's funny... the other times I knew opportunities to smoke were coming, I didn't post on this forum. Now, I'm gathering my forces - rereading other people's stories and even my past entries really help me. They remind me of how far I've come and WHERE I've come from. I don't want to go back there again.
Something I haven't talked about before was a smoking buddy of mine I had. We were acting in a project together and we were so close - instant friends when we met. We especially bonded over weed, but I realized that she wasn't the same person when she wasn't high. She wasn't the fun, loving, seemingly-caring person when she was sober - quite the chameleon. I've come to realize how important it is to take weed of the picture in any important relationship in your life. Will it change anything? For better or for worse? If it's for worse, maybe it's time to shift things around. I'm going to try this with my brother and see how it goes. It's gonna be hard to break it to him - that I've quit weed for good this time. No more f***in around.
Wish me luck guys and hope all is well with you all!
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#40

Postby Wave » Sun Sep 06, 2015 11:21 am

Sounds really positive. It is always a massive temptation when weed is around and I plan not to be around it for a long time, even if that means not visiting people I otherwise would and would love to see, just need to wait until I am sure.strong enough to resist.

I haven't forgotten my last slip up and last two nights had completely natural sleep, no sleep aid and it has been amazing. My longest without is 132 days and I plan for get a good 6 months behind me before going anywhere near weed again (I still count from my original quit date as never went back to daily use, so just count them a blips).

Hope you keep it going but the withdrawal has been way less and feel the real hard work was done when we both went from everyday is nothing and quitting.

Keep up the good work!
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#41

Postby kickingthehabit » Wed Sep 30, 2015 6:36 pm

Thanks for the encouragement, as always, Wave!

It's Day 55 and I must admit that there are very brief moments when I think about weed. During those moments, I analyze why, and I think it's just because I can. It's usually circumstances when I used to smoke, but when I think about the consequences, the thoughts are quick to dissipate!

I've had a lot of blips too, so if I don't count the blips, it's been more than half a year or so since I stopped heavy usage. It's becoming more clear to me now what problems were caused by the influence of weed vs. my own personal issues. That was the most important conclusion to draw from all this. I know that most of my problems were coming from myself but weed was only enhancing them and keeping me in the dark about them. The years of consistent usage built up a lot of bad habits that I'm now having a hard time breaking free from even now, though weed hasn't been part of my life for a while. It's hard to build up better habits, but that's the new journey I must now face.

I hope this doesn't sound discouraging, because I'm really glad to have quit and to be striving forward. I'm just a bit overwhelmed at not having an "escape" from reality at times. Breaking free from denial is never easy, but it's never beneficial to take the path of least resistance. Break out of your comfort zone and be the best person you can be. There is no destination, just some nice stops along the way, so enjoy the journey.
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#42

Postby kickingthehabit » Tue Nov 03, 2015 5:28 pm

I'm hitting the three month mark again tomorrow!
After having done some self-analysis, I realized that I've developed new and better habits. I can tell my mindset/attitude is so much better than it was a year ago. I'm so happy to have quit and I'm currently working on blog posts on weed addiction - tips on how to quit, why I quit, how my life has changed, etc. It makes me so happy to see how far I've come and to realize that I'm now in a situation where I can help other people. I know that this hardship I've had to overcome can be turned into a benefit.
I've been trying to quit for the past two years and I've had a lot of ups and downs, but ever since I found this forum, there have been more ups (not high's, lol, no pun intended), so I want to thank this entire forum - the people who have supported me, the ones who have unknowingly provided inspiration, and the creators of this wonderful site.
Life has definitely been getting better and better since I made the decision to quit, and there were so many more obstacles I've had to overcome as a result of having smoked for so long. There were so many bad habits I had created from smoking and I'm still trying to overcome them, but everyday is a chance for change.
"Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change." -Tony Robbins.
I read this on a picture quote recently and it really hit home for me. That is truly when change happened for me. I knew that I couldn't progress in life with weed still being a part of it. When that ultimate decision was the guiding force throughout my journey. I hope everyone is doing well, and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Keep going when the going gets hard. There is hope and the bad feelings won't last forever. You can feel good without weed. You can feel even better than the temporary high weed gives you. Stay strong and just keep getting up no matter how many times you fall.
XOXO.
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#43

Postby Furtive » Tue Nov 03, 2015 8:49 pm

Yeh, this is a lot like my experience too.

I quit heavy usage about 22 months ago
And my life is completely different now, I'm much happier in myself

occasional use didn't stop the recovery
Or change my decision to sort my head out

I honestly believe that taking responsibility for yourself
Is the main part of quitting and recovery

It's actually accepting a route to a happier and easier life in the long run
Once you really feel that for yourself, it's so much easier
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#44

Postby kickingthehabit » Wed Nov 18, 2015 7:18 pm

Day 104
It's surprising that urges still come and go. It's a bit frustrating to think that I still have cravings and it's even worse when I try to justify smoking. BUT, I'm happy to say that I haven't caved! I remind myself of why I quit by going through the process in my head. I think about the aftermath, and it's SOOOO not worth it.
Hope everyone's doing well. Stay strong! Every time you resist makes you stronger and brings you one step closer to your goal.
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