Finally ready to quit cannabis

Postby Wave » Sun Apr 05, 2015 7:19 pm

Hello,

Strange to be back here again, but I feel that I am finally ready to do this. Some of you may recognise my username and wanted to share with you my 4th serious attempt at quitting cannabis.

Why did I fail last time?
My last quit I made it 101 days totally cannabis free (I successfully quit tobacco 4 years ago as used to mix tobacco and bud in joints). Many people would be delighted to reach past 3 months and since I was 18 this is by far the longest I have ever gone. My sleeping was starting to sort itself out but I feel I fully underestimated the time it takes to recover from this emotionally. As such, the depression aspect of the quit was really getting to me and my brain was really helping to convince me that I was somehow missing out and going back was the right thing to do. Added to this I had a close friend to stay and even let them use my outside smoking shed. They left about 0.5g of weed in there and when I noticed a week later I gave in to the temptation.

That was about 14 months ago and has taken me a very long time to fully commit to this. I am pretty angry about my friend and what he did, I know it wasn’t a mistake and feel it’s a fairly unfair thing to do to anyone but addiction does weird things to you as a person (one of the MANY reasons why I want to quit). I also learnt from my previous quit that when you tell a cannabis addict you are trying to stop being a cannabis addict you can get a whole range of reactions from “can’t be addicted to weed” to almost resentment that you are trying to correct this aspect of your life.

I also hate how such a large part of you is weak. I feel in other areas of my life I am successful and achieved what I set out to but being an addict makes me feel weak, something I have really started to resent lately.

In these 14 months I have only vaped and my use as fallen from around 7g/week to 2g/week. It fills me with lots of confidence that I can do it this time as last time I was smoking massive bongs and using more. I also reached a point about 3 months into vaping only where I will never smoke again. I feel I can get to this point to not taking cannabis as I tried so many times to only vape and failed so shows me I can change.

Strategies
The main aspect of me failing last time I feel were:
1. Bad influences
2. Poor nutrition
3. Believing I was missing out

1. Bad influences
This will be pretty easy to sort, where I currently live almost no one has any idea of my addiction and I plan to keep it this way. Therefore this will just involve none of my previous smoking friends to stay or that I visit.

2. Poor nutrition
Last quit it wasn’t the craving that got me but the constant depression and dark thoughts. I have been reading this fantastic book called “The Mood Cure” by Julia Ross. It is all amount deficiencies of certain vitamins and amino acids as the cause of many mood problems. There is a survey you can do to see which areas you are need of boosting (Serotonin, Norepinephrin, GABA, Endorphin and Blood sugar)

The Book Cure by Julia Ross

Click here if you want to take the test

I am off the chart for most but in my previous quit I ate really badly (loads of take-away as a “reward”) and so feel I was not getting anywhere near the correct RDA of vitamins or had a balanced diet. As such, I will be trying taking daily supplements of various amino acids and vitamins as well as really concentrating on eating the right foods for my recovery. Since only vaping and have got my eating habits to be far healthier and now eat lots more veg, fruit and salad and I am far more mindful that this has a massive impact on your mood. I feel this will also be a great disraction along with exercise and dog walking to keep me constantly busy.

3. Believing I was missing out
In the back of my head I always thought if I would cut down to an affordable level and didn’t smoke just vaped, I would feel differently about this addiction and since it would be so well managed it would be fine. I feel I have reached that point and have found this is not the case and I know for a fact that for me any variation of consuming weed will never work. The sooner I am done with this, the better.

If you have any doubt about point number 3, go read itsanewdaywohoo posts as we were days apart on my previous quit (I think I was a few days ahead). I am here going through withdrawal AGAIN and here was some of his recent thoughts:

itsanewdaywohoo wrote: In 5 days it will be a year since I smoked weed !!

woop woop.!!

If I can do this, who ever is reading this can do this too.

I'm going to think of a nice reward / drug free treat for myself for Sunday....hmmmmmm, I'm thinking of inviting some fiends around and eating an entire cheesecake

My ticker says I have not smoked 1080 joints and saved $5481 hehehehehe


So he is loving being weed free and seeing the benefits and I am still fighting withdrawal on the daily basis, due to my reduced use tends to lead to some serious cravings and constant battle not to let my use increase. His posts have successfully shown me I am not missing anything, and I am extremely envious he managed it while I failed. I hope anyone reading this that has this in the back of their mind, I felt that too but have finally realised those thoughts are weed lying to me. I joined this site November 2012 and still here trying to end this!

Current Quit

So moving forward, seems to be loads of people all joined here recently so hoping I can support others and they can support me. I am currently on my 3rd day cannabis free but my first in the house (was away keeping busy with non-weed friends which really helped with withdrawal).

Overall things are going ok but already feel fairly down and really on edge, but keeping busy and writing this massive post has reminded me why this is so important to succeed.
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217


#1

Postby Wave » Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:28 pm

Day 4

Been a fairly ok day today. First full day in house and tried to fill it with as much activities that didnt involve sitting around thinking about vaping bud. On the whole it worked and aside from feeling constantly on edge it went ok. Had a moment around 5-7pm where I felt really down, probably as usually the time after a busy day I would get high.

It helps that I really dont want to be high anymore and feel I need to more on from this but showed me how long this will take, I only need to read my previous quits to see that.

Slept ok late night and aside from weird dreams and taking a long time to get to sleep, felt ok in the morning.
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#2

Postby desperate788 » Mon Apr 06, 2015 11:18 pm

Good luck with your quit attempt :)
User avatar
desperate788
Super Member
 
Posts: 40749
Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:39 pm
Likes Received: 99

#3

Postby Wave » Tue Apr 07, 2015 6:43 pm

Day 5

Parts of today have been a real struggle. At points felt very down, really lost and without motivation. Taken on way too many bits of he house to sort and usually I would get high and get with it but felt a but overwhelmed.

On the positives it's actually been a welcome change not been high and instead clearheaded and not always thinking I could just get high instead as I have felt on previous quits.

Last night was the first I have slept without any help and while I woke a few times, was great to manage that.

Looking forward to hitting the 1 week point and reading in here lots as seems lots of people trying to quit. Amazing how many of us are here for weed too, hard to still believe it's a "harmless plant".
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#4

Postby Actualizing intent » Wed Apr 08, 2015 3:16 pm

great Job, wave! I am proud of you for the over 100 days you did quit- and that you are back on track now! I think one thing that can help is to keep finding other people to use as inspiration- people who seem inspired and happy in life who do not use, if we can, to have as role models.

I hope to join you and everyone so very soon, as I have said. I am trying to gear up. Great job for you to be doing this again. I am sure the rewards and deeper peace will come soon for you!
Actualizing intent
Full Member
 
Posts: 210
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2015 1:11 am
Likes Received: 16

#5

Postby Wave » Wed Apr 08, 2015 5:56 pm

Thanks Actualizing intent, I truly believe now is the time and hope you can join us soon, while I am seriously adjusting I am trying to appreciate the good times and not over analysis the bad.

Day 6

Been taking multivitamins, omega 3,6,9 fish oils and tyrosine for a few days and feel it is helping. I started today taking 1200mg of N-Acetylcysteine (NAC) which has been used with cannabis use reduction studies effectively and feel it helped with today's cravings. Could be placebo effect but honestly couldn't care as I feel it works. Will report on this further once I have been taking it for a number of days. Study takes it twice a day but may take just the morning as sleep is difficult and don't want to do anything that may make it worse.

The study with NAC:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2826714/

As such, my mood has been a lot better than previous quits and really trying to stay busy which helps. Managed an hour of cycling today and was honestly amazing to do exercise not stoned at all, usually not the case and feel great for doing exercise (got proper lazy lately).

I am finding interacting with people while I am not high great, used to be seriously paranoid people were judging me for being stoned so this is a real positive I will focus on. Also got loads done today and had way more time and not constantly taking breaks to vape.

Really looking forward to hitting a week and sleep is going ok but was up very late last nigh as wide awake but don't feel too tired in the morning and dreams haven't been too vivid so enjoying that too.
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#6

Postby itsanewdaywohoo » Thu Apr 09, 2015 4:15 am

Hey wave - I am really surprised to see you back here, I thought you were as successful as I was with getting the weed out of your life - you were my quit buddy ! ! I had just assumed that you didn't feel the need to revisit this site after your quit........ and all this time you were back on the herb - in a way I feel disappoint in you, like you let "us" , not that I have the right to I suppose, I also feel that I can easily see how this may have happened and there were times I thought about going back too. I think we may both fall into that type of people who can never be casual users of weed, but rather all or nothing, which is why I am sticking to the "never another puff" theory. I can see though - how a bit of weakness on a sh1tty day could lead to a single puff, which then snowballs into drawing you back into your old ways.

So I am sorry to see that you are back here but also glad that you are having another go at quitting, you will at least know exactly what to expect and have the tools to deal with them, you've been there before! Best wishes friend :D
itsanewdaywohoo
Full Member
 
Posts: 224
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:48 pm
Likes Received: 28

#7

Postby Wave » Thu Apr 09, 2015 6:50 am

Thanks for the reply itsanewdaywoohoo, the thing is I did let 'us' down and was too ashamed to even visit here and admit I had failed. After failing in each attempt I was back to everyday using within a week. I can never touch weed ever again as I personally find weed extremely addictive and believe both you and I are in the 10% of users who get seriously addicted. I feel it also has an effect of my ability to remain calm and handle stress and honestly believe I will be a stronger more grounded person when I reach the milestones you have with this.

The positive is that many on here say how much they have learnt from each quit and I feel I finally know this one has to succeed as it has started to impact on other areas of my life and I was gradually becoming more isolated, something I hated (as did my partner) and at least I am here again! I hope my story can show to other that some people can never be casual users and one puff has ruined all my hard work.

So last night I has some seriously mental dreams and found the evening challenging, but the day was great and cravings are not too intense, I know it will get easier.
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#8

Postby Stevenpearce » Thu Apr 09, 2015 4:43 pm

Heh mate how you doing today? I hope all is well. Think you've picked a great time to quit as summer is on its way!!
Stevenpearce
Full Member
 
Posts: 242
Joined: Thu Jun 06, 2013 5:41 am
Likes Received: 25

#9

Postby Wave » Thu Apr 09, 2015 8:09 pm

Day 7

Hit the 1 week point today and went ok. Feel myself getting quite frustrated at things that probably aren't that annoying but pleased I know have a week under my belt. Steven your right summer is a much better time as last time we did it over winter and that was tough!

Feel pretty down and finding it hard to communicate with people, wife has got some friends over and had to finish watching a film and just want to be on my own...

Still know this is the right decision and will get better!
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#10

Postby Ade,wales » Thu Apr 09, 2015 11:52 pm

alright wave

day 94 now. cant believe it

i had a crazy first few weeks. all over the place. no sleep which didnt do things any good. up and down constantly.but i was determined, and along with itsanewday felt i had to do the 'never again' thing.just had that in my head. if i started thinking just a bit, i would distract myself with music, exercise, anything i enjoy. what helped me greatly was Bevanos post 165. check it out

good luck. and remember it can be done. whats going on in your head is the weed tricking you back to it.
Ade,wales
Full Member
 
Posts: 296
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2015 10:14 pm
Likes Received: 103

#11

Postby Wave » Fri Apr 10, 2015 12:52 am

Yea I really feel it's never again for me, just doesn't fit in my life and makes me lie to friends. Ended up getting involved with people around and one even made a remark how late I am still up (always making excuses to leave to get high on my own, how sad).

Like you ade, back in the day bonging with mates was a blast but now it's just in my shed on my own and always smells of green, which i don't appreciate anymore.
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#12

Postby itsanewdaywohoo » Fri Apr 10, 2015 1:15 am

Well done on a week wave - the dreaming will be starting up and I still LOVE my dreams, they have settled down a lot but I can now remember my dreams every morning, something I missed out on for 22 years, wonderful having them back.

Sounds like you might be in need of a shed burning ceremony :)

I thoroughly enjoyed smashing my ashtrays and throwing the last bits and pieces away, very healing and proactive. Getting your partner more involved might be helpful too??

Hang in there friend - NEVER ANOTHER PUFF
itsanewdaywohoo
Full Member
 
Posts: 224
Joined: Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:48 pm
Likes Received: 28

#13

Postby Wave » Fri Apr 10, 2015 9:36 am

Yea never another puff for sure! Slept great, feeling good today. The real test is next week as had a fair bit of time off and so life has been less intense. Know I can do it though.

Thanks for all the comments so far!
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217

#14

Postby Wave » Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:17 am

Day 8
Seems to be noticing a pattern of starting off pretty low each morning, taking 1000mg of Tyrosine and 1000mg of NAC and these both seems to help massively with my cravings and mood. At the end of day 8 I went to another city and meet with some people I have known for a very long time and never bothered to make the effort with, mainly due to rather be getting high on my own (why was that again!?!?!).

It was amazing! Had so much more fun than another night on my own and even took the car and only have a small glass of red wine with food. I found it super easy to stay up later (always been terrible at that) and got home at 2am, sober! I have never got with alcohol in the way I have drunk very little as instead I would smoke/vape weed instead. Alcohol it is a real take it or leave it drug for me, but I really love being with people who are drinking and feel it helps me relax, sounds weird probably but save me a packet and means I can drive, win win.

I wanted to share an explanation I gave to two of my friends there last night, they asked about my current use of weed and I mentioned that I have given it up. I still have a fairly positive opinion of weed, in the sense I can understand some people don't develop the dependency subsequent addiction that I have. I do believe there is a massive correlation between the age you start using weed (I was 12/13) and getting addicted, people who wait till their brain if fully developed (18/19+). The younger you start the more chance to develop a problem.

Anyways, both of these people smoke regularly but the key difference is they had also travelled far but knew using weed would not be convenient on this visit and so didnt bring any. Plus they are planning to travel of a year or so with no concerns that many of the countries they will visit will have little/no weed. For me, I could never visit someone without weed and would have a horrible time in withdrawal and the idea of travelling when I was using everyday filled me with fear. As such, I think this is where the key difference lies between people that can and can no longer use weed.

I also mentioned that I am leaving using cannabis on my terms, in the grand scale of things it has not had a massive impact on my ambitions and so I can look back and see cannabis as a large part of my upbringing and youth, but as I progress into being a contributing member of society quit in the process. This is also the first quit I don't feel ashamed when I tell people I have quit, I don't know why but felt like a failure for giving up the previous attempts where as this time I feel I would be a failure for even one puff.

Moving forward I want to use my weekends as best I can and really build my social circle, as I have really become a little introverted the last year and want to change that. I find my conversation skills are much better when not high and can remember far more details, making me probably more interesting to chat with (again win win).

Day 9
Again, taken aback how low I felt when I first woke up, actually felt some relatively strong cravings too which I found surprising as due to last night felt I would see this is the right choice but I suppose I am going through physical withdrawals. Took Tyrosine and NAC before breakfast and lifted my mood and not craving at the moment.

My thoughts lately are starting to focus more and more on one thing, PAWS. 3 months hit me like a train last time and I hope I dont make any stupid mistakes which I know will lead me to actually where I was before this quit as a result. I have to keep that in mind and focus on all the positives so far.

I can say that I am finding this far easier this time (vaping ~2g/week) from my previous attempt (smoking pure ~7g/week). It shows me that there is a lot of truth in cutting down before quitting can really help reduce the severity of withdrawals.
Wave
Preferred Member
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2012 9:47 am
Likes Received: 217


Next

  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Addictions