Strange to be back here again, but I feel that I am finally ready to do this. Some of you may recognise my username and wanted to share with you my 4th serious attempt at quitting cannabis.
Why did I fail last time?
My last quit I made it 101 days totally cannabis free (I successfully quit tobacco 4 years ago as used to mix tobacco and bud in joints). Many people would be delighted to reach past 3 months and since I was 18 this is by far the longest I have ever gone. My sleeping was starting to sort itself out but I feel I fully underestimated the time it takes to recover from this emotionally. As such, the depression aspect of the quit was really getting to me and my brain was really helping to convince me that I was somehow missing out and going back was the right thing to do. Added to this I had a close friend to stay and even let them use my outside smoking shed. They left about 0.5g of weed in there and when I noticed a week later I gave in to the temptation.
That was about 14 months ago and has taken me a very long time to fully commit to this. I am pretty angry about my friend and what he did, I know it wasn’t a mistake and feel it’s a fairly unfair thing to do to anyone but addiction does weird things to you as a person (one of the MANY reasons why I want to quit). I also learnt from my previous quit that when you tell a cannabis addict you are trying to stop being a cannabis addict you can get a whole range of reactions from “can’t be addicted to weed” to almost resentment that you are trying to correct this aspect of your life.
I also hate how such a large part of you is weak. I feel in other areas of my life I am successful and achieved what I set out to but being an addict makes me feel weak, something I have really started to resent lately.
In these 14 months I have only vaped and my use as fallen from around 7g/week to 2g/week. It fills me with lots of confidence that I can do it this time as last time I was smoking massive bongs and using more. I also reached a point about 3 months into vaping only where I will never smoke again. I feel I can get to this point to not taking cannabis as I tried so many times to only vape and failed so shows me I can change.
Strategies
The main aspect of me failing last time I feel were:
1. Bad influences
2. Poor nutrition
3. Believing I was missing out
1. Bad influences
This will be pretty easy to sort, where I currently live almost no one has any idea of my addiction and I plan to keep it this way. Therefore this will just involve none of my previous smoking friends to stay or that I visit.
2. Poor nutrition
Last quit it wasn’t the craving that got me but the constant depression and dark thoughts. I have been reading this fantastic book called “The Mood Cure” by Julia Ross. It is all amount deficiencies of certain vitamins and amino acids as the cause of many mood problems. There is a survey you can do to see which areas you are need of boosting (Serotonin, Norepinephrin, GABA, Endorphin and Blood sugar)
The Book Cure by Julia Ross
Click here if you want to take the test
I am off the chart for most but in my previous quit I ate really badly (loads of take-away as a “reward”) and so feel I was not getting anywhere near the correct RDA of vitamins or had a balanced diet. As such, I will be trying taking daily supplements of various amino acids and vitamins as well as really concentrating on eating the right foods for my recovery. Since only vaping and have got my eating habits to be far healthier and now eat lots more veg, fruit and salad and I am far more mindful that this has a massive impact on your mood. I feel this will also be a great disraction along with exercise and dog walking to keep me constantly busy.
3. Believing I was missing out
In the back of my head I always thought if I would cut down to an affordable level and didn’t smoke just vaped, I would feel differently about this addiction and since it would be so well managed it would be fine. I feel I have reached that point and have found this is not the case and I know for a fact that for me any variation of consuming weed will never work. The sooner I am done with this, the better.
If you have any doubt about point number 3, go read itsanewdaywohoo posts as we were days apart on my previous quit (I think I was a few days ahead). I am here going through withdrawal AGAIN and here was some of his recent thoughts:
itsanewdaywohoo wrote: In 5 days it will be a year since I smoked weed !!
woop woop.!!
If I can do this, who ever is reading this can do this too.
I'm going to think of a nice reward / drug free treat for myself for Sunday....hmmmmmm, I'm thinking of inviting some fiends around and eating an entire cheesecake
My ticker says I have not smoked 1080 joints and saved $5481 hehehehehe
So he is loving being weed free and seeing the benefits and I am still fighting withdrawal on the daily basis, due to my reduced use tends to lead to some serious cravings and constant battle not to let my use increase. His posts have successfully shown me I am not missing anything, and I am extremely envious he managed it while I failed. I hope anyone reading this that has this in the back of their mind, I felt that too but have finally realised those thoughts are weed lying to me. I joined this site November 2012 and still here trying to end this!
Current Quit
So moving forward, seems to be loads of people all joined here recently so hoping I can support others and they can support me. I am currently on my 3rd day cannabis free but my first in the house (was away keeping busy with non-weed friends which really helped with withdrawal).
Overall things are going ok but already feel fairly down and really on edge, but keeping busy and writing this massive post has reminded me why this is so important to succeed.
