by miami72fins » Mon Jan 04, 2016 3:23 am
Hey guys I hope everyone is well,
I don't know if anybody will see this but I've been searching online regarding the dp/dr and marijuana topic for almost a year now. I have gained some relief knowing that I am not alone but am not completely satisfied in that I feel like I am the only one who has experienced dp in this manner.
Here's why:
My first time smoking was when I was a sophomore in high school. Heavy weed smoking did not happen until the end of my senior year. I stupidly continued this daily addictive habit until about three months ago, when I quit cold turkey ( I am 21 and a junior in college now) because it was and had been for a while doing me no good whatsoever. My main concern is, and has been for a while now, is ongoing continuous feelings of depersonalization. Before smoking weed, I always considered myself a very happy person with anxious tendencies in social situations only. However, as I continued to smoke weed I more and more felt feelings of unreality and depersonalization/derealization which really freaked me out. Stupidly, out of habit I continued to smoke for roughly another year and a half and tried my best to ignore these symptoms which I regret immensely.
Now, unlike pretty much every other case I have seen, I did not develop this feeling after a panic attack from one specific bad weed high. Rather, it was a gradual onset that I cannot exactly pinpoint. Do you think that this condition developed because of chronic weed smoking or was it independent of it? I am really worried that I ruined my life forever and really just want these feelings to go away and for me to live life like I did before I started heavily smoking. I really anticipate on never smoking again in an attempt to resurface my past happy and carefree self.
Thanks so much.
Best
Zach