how to overcome shyness??


Postby proudconfidentman » Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:20 pm

By stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things that make you uncomfortable.
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Postby Esperanzara » Sat Feb 11, 2017 7:08 am

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Postby angelal » Sun May 21, 2017 10:43 pm

I feel your pain when it comes to shyness. You should ask yourself if this is something you want to overcome. If so, why? Why is it so important for you speak out in public. Once you establish that, write it down and visual yourself speaking in public. Visualize yourself speaking out confidently and how good you will feel after and the skills you will develop as a result.

The next step is to practice. Start small and work your way up. Exposure is the only way to develop these skills and become confident. You don't want to your knowledge to be greater than your ability.
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Postby DeannaDuarte » Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:38 am

I am also bit shy at my work place. I don't get friends easily. But I don't face much problem in public speaking.
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Postby J Derrington » Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:57 pm

You are shy and afraid in social situations because of the unconscious beliefs you have about yourself and others. I used to be incredibly shy myself too. I would mumble all the time and I would try to run from social situations all the time. Letting go of these beliefs and the fear that comes with them is a process that takes time but it can be done.

1. Understand where this shyness comes from
2. Take action

1. This shyness comes from your underlying beliefs. Even though you might not be aware of it, you probably unconsciously believe that you have to be perfect for others to like you, that if you say something wrong people will think that you are stupid and will think less of you, that you are fundamentally imperfect (so you have to be constantly monitoring yourself, doing something so that this doesn't shine through. You don't think that you can simply relax and still be ok)... These beliefs were acquired as you were growing up, in school, through your parents, your peers, ... As a child you misinterpret people's criticism and anger towards you as an indication that you are imperfect just by being yourself. These beliefs are unconscious, like you say, you don't know why you are nervous. They are stored in you in the form of this nervousness/fear you feel. You feel this fear when you are the centre of attention because at some level you think you are fundamentally flawed, and if you have the spotlight on you then people will see this. But this is not true. Of course I don't know you but there is no such thing as being fundamentally flawed.

2. You can only let go of these beliefs by taking action. You have to receive experiences where you will feel this nervousness, they are a great opportunity to experience the fear and to tell yourself that it is just your body trying to protect you from being rejected by your peers. Don't beat yourself up for it. It is there, don't resist it, understand it. It is your body telling you to act so people don't see what you for what you think you are. I recommend that you seek out your opportunities, so that you can rewrite your unconscious opinion of yourself, and to see that you are OK just by being yourself, and that people are welcoming of you as you are. You will come to see things for how they are, and not like your inner fear sees them as. :D
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Postby Septimus » Mon May 13, 2019 10:26 am

Sounds like high in trait neuroticism. Exposure therapy is believed to be one of the most effective ways of dealing with shyness. I'm sure some relaxation techniques could also be helpful.
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Postby James_Lee » Fri May 17, 2019 3:22 am

As with any other sort of anxiety, the best thing to do is NOT to suppress it and simply let it pass. Just know, there are many like you, it is a common problem, it will be ok... so on and so on.
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Postby allenjackkson » Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:07 am

Shyness is a negative quality that can hold back people. It does not allow them to interact in public and has a direct impact on delivering speeches. If you are part of the herd, fear not as four out of 10 people consider themselves shy. The good news is, you can overcome shyness and be confident in public speaking.

Consider the following techniques:

1) Do not advertise your shyness. It is not as visible as you think
2) If others point out your shyness, keep the tone casual. If it is part of a discussion, speak about it light-heartedly
3) If you blush when you are uncomfortable, try changing the tone during a public speaking
4) Do not label yourself as a shy person. Define yourself as a unique individual
5) Avoid that inner critic put you down. Rather, analyze that power and defuse it
6) List your positive qualities and remember how much you have to offer
7) Develop a habit of observing others. Everyone has their symptoms of insecurity
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Postby Confidencetalks » Mon Oct 07, 2019 10:28 am

You want to answer a question, but fear is keeping you still and your mouth shut. Next time, ask yourself, what have you got to lose? What is the worst thing that can happen?

I'm pretty sure you would answer that you are concerned at other people judging you or worse, laughing at you. Tell me, can you remember someone else doing something embarrassing today? What about yesterday? Last week? Last month? The further back you go, the less likely you will remember someone else embarrassing themselves, that's because people don't really care when others embarrass themselves, they are only interested in what happens to them.

Next time, I would recommend taking a deep breath and answering that question. Chances are everything will be fine, but should the worst happen and people do laugh, then just laugh with them. If it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, then it really will not be a big deal for others.

Good luck.
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Postby allenjackkson » Tue Oct 15, 2019 7:22 am

Shyness tends to hold back people, be it in personal or professional life. This holds for public speaking as well. Those shy away tend to avoid public situations and speech events. The better term here is chronic anxiety.

The good news is you can overcome shyness and become confident in public speaking. With time, effort, and desire to change, it is possible to breakthrough.

There are some techniques to overcome the same. They are –

• Do not advertise your shyness.
• If others point out your shyness, behave normally. Continue speaking light-heartedly.
• If you blush while speaking in public, do not equate it with shyness. Let that flow through your speech.
• Do not label yourself as shy. Define yourself and the trait as a unique one.
• You fail to become successful in public speaking is because you criticize yourself.
• List your positive qualities and frame your speech around them.
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