how to overcome shyness??

#15

Postby proudconfidentman » Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:20 pm

By stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things that make you uncomfortable.
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#16

Postby Esperanzara » Sat Feb 11, 2017 7:08 am

useful
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#17

Postby angelal » Sun May 21, 2017 10:43 pm

I feel your pain when it comes to shyness. You should ask yourself if this is something you want to overcome. If so, why? Why is it so important for you speak out in public. Once you establish that, write it down and visual yourself speaking in public. Visualize yourself speaking out confidently and how good you will feel after and the skills you will develop as a result.

The next step is to practice. Start small and work your way up. Exposure is the only way to develop these skills and become confident. You don't want to your knowledge to be greater than your ability.
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#18

Postby DeannaDuarte » Fri Sep 08, 2017 11:38 am

I am also bit shy at my work place. I don't get friends easily. But I don't face much problem in public speaking.
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#19

Postby J Derrington » Wed Mar 28, 2018 1:57 pm

You are shy and afraid in social situations because of the unconscious beliefs you have about yourself and others. I used to be incredibly shy myself too. I would mumble all the time and I would try to run from social situations all the time. Letting go of these beliefs and the fear that comes with them is a process that takes time but it can be done.

1. Understand where this shyness comes from
2. Take action

1. This shyness comes from your underlying beliefs. Even though you might not be aware of it, you probably unconsciously believe that you have to be perfect for others to like you, that if you say something wrong people will think that you are stupid and will think less of you, that you are fundamentally imperfect (so you have to be constantly monitoring yourself, doing something so that this doesn't shine through. You don't think that you can simply relax and still be ok)... These beliefs were acquired as you were growing up, in school, through your parents, your peers, ... As a child you misinterpret people's criticism and anger towards you as an indication that you are imperfect just by being yourself. These beliefs are unconscious, like you say, you don't know why you are nervous. They are stored in you in the form of this nervousness/fear you feel. You feel this fear when you are the centre of attention because at some level you think you are fundamentally flawed, and if you have the spotlight on you then people will see this. But this is not true. Of course I don't know you but there is no such thing as being fundamentally flawed.

2. You can only let go of these beliefs by taking action. You have to receive experiences where you will feel this nervousness, they are a great opportunity to experience the fear and to tell yourself that it is just your body trying to protect you from being rejected by your peers. Don't beat yourself up for it. It is there, don't resist it, understand it. It is your body telling you to act so people don't see what you for what you think you are. I recommend that you seek out your opportunities, so that you can rewrite your unconscious opinion of yourself, and to see that you are OK just by being yourself, and that people are welcoming of you as you are. You will come to see things for how they are, and not like your inner fear sees them as. :D
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