8 months quit have I messed myself up forever

Postby semi92 » Tue Sep 08, 2015 11:26 am

I first posted 10 weeks into my quit and I can happily say I've stuck at it until now which marks my 8th month. I've had loads of ups and downs, times when I have thought that I'm well on my way to recovery but then the lows hit and they hit hard. I feel as if I have messed myself up for good I don't know what it is but I just don't feel right I have days when I feel amazing but then days where I feel as if the withdrawal has started all over again. I remind myself that I've done things I.e gone on holiday, done some camping, been out with friends which hows there is some progression but mentally I don't feel like I'm recovering. My memory is really rubbish I still get anxiety I've even stopped drinking because I didn't like the feeling anymore. I know it's going to take alot of time to recover as I smoked from a young age of 14 until 22 (I've just turned 23) so I know there's alot of work still to be done im just really scared im going to feel like this for life. Today I decided to post as I felt I needed to speak with people who understand this process I have friends and family but they intoxicate one way or the other so don't truly understand what I'm going through. I still try to remain positive and to be honest I haven't done half the things recommend like exercising, meditating as much as I should be or really balancing out my diet, it's like I'm so obsessed with how I feel I don't give anything else a chance. I have a 3 year old daughter and i suppose this is my main concern that she doesn't get the mother she deserves. I would appreciate any responses
Have an amazing day
Semi92
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#1

Postby Wave » Tue Sep 08, 2015 5:52 pm

Keep hanging in there, some very heavy smokers have found it takes up to 18 months, even two years to really feel yourself again.

The way to try and look at it is that you have done by far the hardest bit and being young your brain will reset eventually.

have you filled the time when you smoked with other activities? Do you exercise much?
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#2

Postby semi92 » Tue Sep 08, 2015 8:52 pm

Thank you wave for replying, as I've read on plenty of posts that it can take up to two years as you've stated, I think im just inpatient and finding it quite difficult to accept that it could be this long for myself. I'm hoping that my brain will level out eventually suppose it is a waiting game with abit more determination to help myself out. I don't exercise at all which maybe something I should take up and as for replacing my habit with an activity I haven't done so either. As I said I'm so caught up in the negative feelings I ain't giving anything else a chance. I have had days when life just feels absolutely beautiful, I suppose I have to adopt a more positive attitude and really make this change happen
Thank you again for replying
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#3

Postby yayada65 » Wed Sep 09, 2015 7:42 am

Hi,

In 2 weeks i will be 1 year free. All i can tell is that you may gain 15 % of additional clarity each 3 months ! Right now i feel good but it was not the case 3 months ago ! After one year i would say that the biggest has been done, and things slowly improve. You just need to be patient. I think i will be totally healed at the 2 year-mark. But as i said, after one year, PAWS are managable and not as tough to deal with. For me, the main problem was social anxiety. Now i can easily speak with people and be as interesting as i was before smoking. I just have a bit of anxiety. But you really see improvements.

Keep fighting.
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#4

Postby olskoolru » Fri Sep 25, 2015 5:27 am

Keep up the good work Semi. What you are going through is completely normal. You have not messed yourself up permanently. Many of us have gone through the same thing. I also thought that I f***ed up my mind for good, but I made it through. I'm probably one of the worst cases you will come across. I felt hopeless at 8 months. The rollercoaster ride was insane. Today, about 2.5 years later, I feel f***ing awesome.

3 things:

1. Let the process run its course and don't resent it. That will make it 10 times worse.
2. Never lose hope
3. Don't relapse

There is no way of speeding up this process. Live one day at a time. You made it through today, rejoice! Who's to say that tomorrow won't be your best day yet? If it's a bad day, so be it. Get through it.

The bad days will lessen in quantity and frequency, the longer you are in recovery. They may be more or less intense. Everyone's different.

Hope for the best and expect the worst! Don't let it catch you by surprise. If it's a good day, enjoy it! Don't ruin it by worrying if it's only temporary.

Keep it up homie! Keep us posted.

OSR
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#5

Postby akash agarwal » Sun May 01, 2016 6:44 pm

OSR r u 100% fine now? Totally?
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