poor body image and low self esteem

#15

Postby Kiruba Murugesh » Sun Nov 01, 2015 6:53 am

Think positive about urself. Self hyponosis helpful to overcome your inferiority complex.
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#16

Postby Introspectah » Sun Nov 01, 2015 11:39 am

Dizal wrote:I try to think positively and believe that I am good enough but then those thoughts [...]


You won't make much progression by combatting this overwhelming current with a vicious counter of ''positive'' resistance, for in resistance you find the unwillingness and/or disability to accept, which perpetuates the problem.

The solution lies entirely in the opposite direction.
Instead of trying to mend the wound by means of external aid, penetrate the wound and inspect it from within---feel it.

That is the solution to any psychological problem at hand.
Feel the pain of rejection, feel the pain of worthlessness, feel the pain of insignificance, truly feel it and you will relieve your self of a massive impediment.
Then, once you have ideally processed the deep emotional pains, you investigate the belief-systems you acquired out of the environment for what they're worth.

''Am i truly comparably insignificant due to my height and visible youthful appearance?''
''In the larger scheme of life, does that really matter?''
''Could i find somebody who unconditionally appreciates and adores me without having them attach any sort of significance unto height difference?''
''Moreover, isn't the main reason why i've been feeling so bad about my self because the childhood humiliation and feelings of inferiority made me put my self down in a vicious spiral, which the composed adult mind, by means of rationally sound re-evaluation, can bring an end to?''
''Would i have felt so bad about my self if i looked exactly the same but grew up with people who didn't look much different from me, and who didn't target and mock my unique characteristics?''
- ''If growing up in such an environment would never have made me feel as bad as i've felt in my youth, then isn't nearly all of my pain due to a particular perspective which is extremely limited and subjective?''

[I don't really feel comfortable with,] particularly my cousin which has contributed a lot for me to feel like this. Whenever I am around her I feel so down and restless. I am always on look out when she is around coz I feel like she is going to hurt me. Because of her I can't trust anyone anymore and she has caused me a lot of emotional damage from negative comments about how I look like a kid and how it's sad that I am not taken seriously by my family.


Can you visualize a situation in which you allow your self to muster the courage to express the gut-wrenching feelings of inferiority and pain she has inflicted upon you?
Obviously direct confrontation would most likely be way too intimidating, but i'm directing your attention to healthy alternatives like writing a small note, with however a gentle indication to the pain she's caused you, not necessarily written in a vengeful manner.

Who knows, she might never have had a clue as to how deeply she's actually hurt and intimated you?
And perhaps she's grown mature enough to question her self instead of shifting the blame?

What do you think?

Is there any sort of way, aside from the alternative i suggested, in which you can visualize your self providing an entrance for her to approach the damage's she's done or contributed to?

Lastly, if you find merit in retrospectively analyzing the experiences you've had with her, could you then assert with absolute certainty that she has in every single hurtful memory seemed to have deliberately humiliated you to the degree which you remember?
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#17

Postby Arne Pedersen » Wed Nov 04, 2015 11:32 pm

Hi Dizal,

In one of your replies to a persons comment, you said that being short felt like you were living half a life. The truth is, if you let yourself believe that, then by belief, you are living half a life. This belief is supporting you to make that so and everything you do that is done through this perception WILL support you to keep feeling that way.

I know this sounds like a hard thing to hear, but sometimes the truth is just best. Until you learn to at least a reasonable degree how to love and accept who you are, including your height, you will keep supporting beliefs and behaviours that make you beat yourself up for not being good enough. The only way to get past this line of thinking is to start building the experience of being good enough by doing things that make you feel good about yourself. The more you support behaviours that make you feel good about who you are and the less you support behaviours that do not make you feel good about yourself (like judging yourself for not being tall enough to be a good person), the better off you will be.

Perhaps you could write a list of all the things you do and would like to do that make you feel good about yourself, and another list of the things that do not make you feel good about yourself (like spending time with people that judge you who do not feel good to be around). If you do this you will have some clarity through contrast to help you with healthy choices for change that will empower rather than disempower you.

I hope this helps,
Arne
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#18

Postby Dizal » Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:38 am

"In one of your replies to a persons comment, you said that being short felt like you were living half a life. The truth is, if you let yourself believe that, then by belief, you are living half a life. This belief is supporting you to make that so and everything you do that is done through this perception WILL support you to keep feeling that way."

Hi there, thank you very much for your support.

That makes a lot of sense. So that means basically unless I change those thoughts of being short is not good, I will never be happy. Yes it's hard to change those believes and thoughts but it's also good to know the truth.

Thank you very much I will try your suggestions:)
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#19

Postby Dizal » Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:46 am

"You won't make much progression by combatting this overwhelming current with.."]

That was a lot of help full feedback thank you for that.


"Can you visualize a situation in which you allow your self to muster the courage to express the gut-wrenching feelings of inferiority and pain she has inflicted upon you?
Obviously direct confrontation would most likely be way too intimidating, but i'm directing your attention to healthy alternatives like writing a small note, with however a gentle indication to the pain she's caused you"

Yes I decided to do that few weeks ago and it really helps because I don't have to repeat it in my mind the disappointment s she has caused me. I wrote a letter to her and told her everything I felt. It was nice to finally take it out of my heart.
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#20

Postby Introspectah » Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:13 pm

Yes I decided to do that few weeks ago and it really helps because I don't have to repeat it in my mind the disappointment s she has caused me. I wrote a letter to her and told her everything I felt. It was nice to finally take it out of my heart.


Oh, you cannot believe how euphonic this sounds to me!

This truly is a huge step in the right direction, and i admire and applaud your courage for exposing your vulnerability!

You've got the power.
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#21

Postby Dizal » Fri Nov 06, 2015 9:16 am

"This truly is a huge step in the right direction, and i admire and applaud your courage for exposing..

Thank you
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