5 months clean from weed...Is there hope?

Postby pursuit_of_happiness » Sat Sep 19, 2015 4:18 pm

Hello!

I have been smoking weed heavily for about a year (I also did shrooms a few times), and the last 3 months I smoked throughout the whole day.
One day I got a panic attack, and decide to quit weed for good. The first two weeks were horrible: no sleep, severe anxiety and dp/dr. I freaked out and started searching through the internet on what could be happening to me. I realized it was a withdrawal phase and decided to start running and doing yoga everyday. Taking herbal remedies and vitamins helped too.

After the first 2 weeks of my withdrawal anxiety disappeared, dp/dr was gone and I was feeling okay. I was really thankful that this ended so quickly. So I stopped exercising. (I am not a fan of it)

Unfortunately, at one month mark I started getting severe mood swings and anxiety. I would cry several times throughout the day and just feel hopeless. Anxiety was back, and then dp/dr. I started getting really weird thoughts and getting anxious over everything. I also got visual snow, tracers and afterimages. The world just looks like an HD movie to me. :shock:

I feel really depressed now. Sometimes my mood gets better and I would not feel any pain for days, and then bam I find myself crying again and feeling hopeless about my future. I still have dp/dr. My anxiety seems to be getting better, but some days I just find myself obsessing over certain things and feeling anxious.

Is there any hope that I will feel normal again? At this point I am scared that I have done an irreversible damage to my brain.
I am gonna start CBT soon and maybe try 5HTP. I know that it takes up to two years for paws to subside. Somehow I don't see any hope in getting a better future.

I am looking forward for your opinion on this.

P.S. I am 19 now
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#1

Postby tokeless » Sat Sep 19, 2015 6:45 pm

Hi there.. Are you sure you're just not craving weed? Irritability and anxiousness can be related to intense cravings because your mind wants the drug effect and you've stopped the 'distraction' methods you had.. I've never had withdrawals really and i smoked 35 yrs, daily and a lot of the time all day.. wake and bake. Definately every evening without fail.. I just don't get this 1-2 year PAWS stuff.. nicotine was about a week, weird dreams 3 months, still get some but dreams are weird as they're your subconscious?
Just live as a non smoker and have a new lifestyle... You may have stuff underneath, but you'd have to check that out professionally.

Best wishes
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#2

Postby pursuit_of_happiness » Sun Sep 20, 2015 5:46 am

I did new lifestyle changes. I don't hang out with the same people anymore. I moved to a new place. And yes I am gonna seek out professional help. Its just the fact that all this some in waves is what makes me think that its paws.
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#3

Postby Wave » Sun Sep 20, 2015 10:06 am

Hi,

Welcome to the forum and highly recommend you keep posting as this forum has helped me no end, even if it is to share you challenges and frustration with many other people in a similar position.

Few things I picked up from what you are saying, stopping the exercise is the biggest one I can't recommend enough. I am going to the gym x2 a week now and feel it really helps to keep me in shape and feel chilled and relaxed after (its a great feeling, one I only ever used to have when weed was involved). The money saved on weed is less than a monthly cost to the gym so feel this is win/win. I think it is key to quantify the money saved and do something positive with it!

Secondary, the amounts and regularity you were smoking is probably directly affecting the challenges you are facing. There does seem to be a correlation to how heavy user you were to how challenging you find it.

And finally, mindset is for me the most important. I have failed many times with this but this is the first time I have not felt I am missing out and life is empty without weed. I actually now think life was a quite empty with weed, so much "dead time" and thinking of all the junk I used to eat and how bad munchies would be, it more than enough reason for me to stay clear (5.5 months at present).

5-HTP can be really great to help "on the odd" day but I personally did not find it beneficial on a daily basis. There are a few amino acids you can try; n-acetyl-l-tyrosine (for mood), n-acetyl-l-cysteine (NAC) (cravings). However, again all the things I have tried did not work for me on a daily basis, just in the early days to see me through. May be worth having to help when things are really bad, but I do not think they are effective on a regular basis. Have a search online and there is some interesting things to read about them, also a study about cannabis cravings and the use of NAC: Here is the link (click here)
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#4

Postby pursuit_of_happiness » Sun Sep 20, 2015 10:50 am

Hi wave!

Thank you for all the advices and recommendations. Really appreciate it!
Although I hate exercising, I realized now that there is no recovery without it. I should start running again.
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#5

Postby Wave » Sun Sep 20, 2015 11:07 am

I was never a massive fan of exercise either but after doing it on a regular basis it becomes way easier and you remember how good you feel afterwards and you start to look forward to it!

Can't recommend it enough!
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#6

Postby pipboy » Sun Sep 27, 2015 6:31 am

Your story is exactly same like mine. First 14 days were very tough. Then all symptoms gone for 15 days and then again dp/Dr came back with anxiety, depression which still persist at 6 months mark .I am very worried about my future that it will never go and if I have to live like this than I should end my life instead.
I got this by weed when I tried first time I mixed it with alcohol.
What should I do now?
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#7

Postby pursuit_of_happiness » Sun Sep 27, 2015 12:56 pm

Pigboy, you should look for help! Talk to your friend, parent or counselor about it. Look for professional help. There are plenty of stories of people who overcame depression, anxiety and dp/dr (even those who did not smoke weed to begin with). Also. try to distract yourself. I know its hard, but once you are distracted you forget about all the feelings. Go hang out with a friend, start a hobby.
You can drink camomile tea to calm yourself.
Right now, I am having pretty normal days once I have things to do during the day (dp/dr is still there though).
Good luck and please don't stop hoping for the best! I know what you are going through, but having some kind of support would help a lot!
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#8

Postby pipboy » Sun Sep 27, 2015 1:22 pm

Thank you for such a kind reply.
I was hopefull during entire period but recently I don't know what happened but this depression is killing me. I just can't control it how hard I try .whenever I travel or sleep less than usual I got more depressed
Today I also went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me lexapro. I am thinking to start with it as depression becomes unbearable. I will let you know about my progress and you should also message me.thanks
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#9

Postby lmcbride » Sun Dec 13, 2015 9:37 pm

Pipboy- how are you doing?
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#10

Postby pipboy » Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:18 pm

I am doing well except some fog which is not noticable but still there I can say I am a lot better but not as good as before the incident. I hope u doing good too
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#11

Postby lmcbride » Thu Dec 17, 2015 5:50 pm

Glad to hear you are doing better. I'm forging along. 4 months cleans and seeing slow improvement.

Did you end up going on medication?
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#12

Postby pipboy » Fri Dec 18, 2015 5:52 am

No started at that time and after 2 days I realise that meds are not for me
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#13

Postby richardmj » Thu Dec 24, 2015 12:58 am

I saw that you are both still battling PAWS! I really need a chat with some people going through it. I am now in my third week of withdrawal and I havent had a really good solid day since week two. Ive had stretches with no symptoms and im back to normal, but it doesnt last a whole day.. i smoked for 6 months before this, when do you guys think itll end?

thanks!
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#14

Postby pipboy » Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:43 am

Hi Richard if you stay clean with everything than it will surely end it will test your patience but surely get better. I don't know the exact timing but it does gets better.
Today I have a bad day not as bad but still I am down today.
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