Month 17 couple of slip ups

Postby adamzapple26 » Fri Oct 02, 2015 1:53 am

What's up guys,
Haven't posted here in a while but on September 20th of this month I hit 17 months. It's still my first month of dorming at school. To be honest I think dorming was a mistake, at least for as of this time in my life.All everyone wants to do is drink, party, smoke, and do drugs. Everywhere I go something is happening. The pressure is really tough on me because everyone wants to turn up with me all the time. First day of move in I drank and did some ecstasy. A couple days later smoked a blunt. The weekend after I did ecstasy I got ducking trashed at a frat party.Next day I got trashed again and did some moly at a rave. Week after that same sh**. Basically every weekend I been getting drunk or something.

Yesterday I smoked a q with my roommate and his friends and got really stoned, but I didn't even like it that's the sad part. I still had my symptoms too while I was high. Now I'm just laying on my bed thinking about life. I'm thinking if I should be proud of myself for coming this far and still not being the person I used to be. I say this because back then i would smoke at least 10 blunts everyday and drink and stuff on the weekend.I went to that to being conpletely weed free for about 15 months.

Now I just have slipups on weed maybe once every two weeks or something but I do drink about every weekend. Idk if this is a good think knowing that I can control it and still not go back to who I used to be, or if its a bad thing because its f***ing over my recovery. One thing that's for sure though is that I'm transferring next semester to my local community college. I'm also gonna work at my old job again and do both because tbh I can't be dorming, there's too much pressure everywhere. I also been slacking in my classes. When I first started the semester I was excited and had a strong positive motivation to do good. Idk if its a freshmen thing, but a lot of these kids don't do sh** but procrastinate all day. Next thing you know I became one of those kids. That's exactly why I'm transferring to community college, where I'll be isolated from people who wanna turn up all the time.

I still have a lot of symptoms, fatigue, memory loss, brain fog. It's been such a long journey I can't believe it myself. I guess the reason why I decided to drink and party once or twice a week is because I just wanna have fun and be normal. But I guess I can't since I'm not "normal" right now. I'm going through paws and going through the week after a drunken night only makes my paws 20x worse. Saturday I'm going to a rave called life in color but I'm just gonna drink like 2 beers and leave it as it is there.

Do you guys think that this will fuckover my recovery Or just slow the process? At the same time I'm kinda proud of myself because I haven't gone into a full blown relapse and I don't drink more then twice a week but then again, idk I'm thinking that I f***ed it all up -__-.
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Postby adamzapple26 » Fri Oct 02, 2015 4:38 pm

:cry: :cry: :cry:
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Postby emphysema » Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:17 pm

Do your best to stop smoking marijuana it damages the lungs, causes chronic bronchitis, and causes choking and wheezing
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Postby Wave » Sat Oct 03, 2015 5:29 pm

Well done on 17 months. Just in the same way weed takes a long time to leave you body it takes a number of sessions to get fully back in, the more you do it the worse withdrawals will be.

Try not to compare your withdrawals now to what it would be like 17 months clear, as the occasions you are smoking a having a negative effect. I smoked about 4 months in and felt increased withdrawal for about 3 weeks, 10 days had lots of sleep problems.

That doesn't sounds like an environment that will lead you to being weed free, so moving away does sound wise.

Keep posting your progress and try not to get dragged into that lifestyle again, won't lead to good grades!
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Postby adamzapple26 » Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:18 am

Hey waves,
When you said" Just in the same way weed takes a long time to leave your body, it takes a number of sessions to get back in", do you mean that if I keep smoking I'll go back to how I was? Because tbh 17 months in, I'm thinking king of going back. Its been too long and I really wanna just be happy again. Although I haven't gone into a full relapse , I did have some slipups on weed. However, It just made my withdrawal worse but if I have to be constantly smoking to raise up my tolerance then I think I'll do it to be normal again.At this point I really don't care anymore.
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Postby Broken stoner » Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:13 pm

I understand how hard it is to stay away from weed everyone and there grandma smokes, even if you try to get with a girl who smokes and you don't she most likely wants to do nothing with you, with all the being said stay away from ecstasy, mdma, Molly, it highers your saratonin levels to super high levels and that's 100x worse than weed in my opinion I'm not a doctor. A lot of the time people will sell you methylone or methadrone witch is bath salts and if you don't have a test kit and you want to do this id highly recommend getting one. I have a friend who did ex twice a week for about a year and he was completely fried dude. He couldn't even hold a conversation. That happiness goes away and the come down is miserable. And try to stop smoking it's probably hindering so much of ur progress. Don't make this all for nothing. The drinking is fine have a few beers every weekend it's not the best but no one is perfect but stay away from the other two I'm not saying get plum sh** faced every weekend just have a few beers and relax, then occasionally get hammered. I hope you the best man
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