Purpose in life?

Postby Mus1c-dude » Wed Nov 04, 2015 4:41 pm

I'm not positive that this is as much a "question" as it is wanting to talk about it. I think a little description of myself may help (diagnose? Not sure on the word) the driving factor. I'm 28, male, average build. I was diagnosed young with dyslexia and mild autism. I grew up a bored, and thus troubled student. I have one older sibling who, in my and my significant others opinion, was always treated as the "good child" receiving praise and affection where I did not. I graduated school and completed two years of college, on a full ride scholarship for music, before leaving to join the Navy. In the Navy I learned to be confident and take advantage of my logic and pattern recognition skills. Since leaving (after 5 years of service) I returned to college, obtained my undergrad degree and started working in banking. In the past 4 years I've promoted 7 times and now run our asset liability management program. I'm giving this back story because my success is what baffles me. I've always felt empty inside, as if I should be doing more with my life. These feelings surface anytime I see people doing things that are meaningful. For example, playing concerts or performing theater. The most recent example came last night; and is the driving force behind me finally talking about this. Last night I watched the documentary "winter on fire" about the Ukrainian people protesting to join the EU and the hardship their former President put them through. I don't know what bothers me more, seeing such injustice, or realizing I'll never believe in something that strongly, strong enough I'd be willing to die. These emotions/emptiness bother me. I typically do not feel deep emotions. I don't like being touched or bothered and generally do not feel compassion towards others. I have struggled to put these feelings into words that are understandable. I'm just not sure why I feel this way. Furthermore, I'm not sure if I want the feelings to go away or if I want something to feel so strongly about. I can't be the only one feeling these things. The heartache of not having purpose in life; I feel like I'm supposed to be doing more, like I'm supposed to make a difference. These feelings leave me unfulfilled by what others would call success. Any thoughts on this would be really appreciated. Thank you for taking the time
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Nov 04, 2015 5:36 pm

I think a mistake some people make is thinking they can "find" purpose. That is not how it works. You build purpose and building something takes time and it requires deliberate action. If you want to do more you can.

Another thing to consider is you can't do it all. Between hunger, poverty, disease, injustice, etc. you and I can quickly lose focus. What I recommend is inventory your assets/liabilities, your skills, your knowledge and your attitudes and then figure out what you want to do next. Set a short term goal...for instance, take your financial skills and offer to work with a non-profit.
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Postby quietvoice » Fri Nov 06, 2015 8:59 pm

Your purpose in life is to make peace with what is.
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Postby McCain » Fri Nov 06, 2015 10:02 pm

Mus1c-dude wrote:These feelings surface anytime I see people doing things that are meaningful. For example, playing concerts or performing theater.

. I don't like being touched or bothered and generally do not feel compassion towards others.

This is a clear contradiction. How can you associate success with a career that requires the exposure to other people. An exposure in some cases that requires being touched, "bothered", and compassionate towards others?
In your mind these people are in an ideal position.. So. how does a person that has no interest in others, become them?

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Postby laureat » Sat Nov 07, 2015 3:23 am

you need to be aware that what we focus on is important

If you focus in music, it will sure effect your results in your job you have so be aware of that,

I recommend that You should not live in a crossroad here, confused what to do, you got to make decisions

Because confused is bad, decisions are good

you can sacrifice a half an hour a day to do what you like; music, or what you like consider it as fun time, instead of investment

And you also decide how much to focus on your job, and do what you need to do , you dont want distractions
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Postby Augusto » Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:02 pm

Purpose... I would imagine you would know by now that purpose is a word without place in reality. Change it for happiness. Pursue that.

Eitherway, you seem to be pursuing fulfillment... mmm... write a book. Try to create a literary jewel. That's a life achievement you may be capable of.

Among my list of achievements, I have the goal to make my wife happy and to avoid divorce. Not many people can do it. Love is not quite a big truth as it is a golden cage and a sweet blindness that helps us ignore the futility of our own existence. It's pretty sweet, tho.

Also, how about rising a child for success beyond your own achievements? If you cannot win the olimpics, maybe you can become a trainer to someone. How would this "perfect trainer" be? I smell the sweet scent of love again.

So, there it is.
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Postby Elyse » Sat Dec 26, 2015 2:25 am

Hello Mus1c-dude,

Thank you for sharing, that takes courage.

This is a really good question, purpose in life? What does that even mean?

Napoleon Hill was a philosopher on personal achievement, and wrote the world famous book: 'Think and Grow Rich' (which I would highly recommend). He spent 20 years researching the greatest minds of America in the 20th Century including names like Thomas A. Edison, Henry Ford and Andrew Carnegie. His mission was to give the world its first philosophy of individual achievement and lived to see his purpose fulfilled (Napoleon has made more millionaires than anyone that has ever lived, however his philosophy covered riches of the material, mental and spiritual.)

There are 17 principles in the Science of Success... and guess what the first one is? Definite Major Purpose.

He found (through studying 500 of the most successful men and women of the 21st Century, and over 25,000 of the 'failures') that those people with a Definite Major Purpose were successful, and the one's without were not.

Why? It has been proven many times that if a person is determined to get something, they can get it. The problem is that 98% of us don't know what we want. We all know what we don't want, we don't want to be poor, or sick, or lonely, or like our parents or siblings. But we can't decide what we do want.

That is the hardest part, but once you know what you want out of life, the way to achieve that will be attracted to you.

What do you want? What would you like to achieve in this short time on this Earth plane? What would you like to leave behind as a monument to yourself? We only get 100 or so years, and only you can decide how you spend that time, in what way can you spend that time which will bring you the most enjoyment?

Your first duty is to yourself, do what makes you happy and your happiness will spread to everyone that comes within your influence. Let you motto be: Deeds, not mere words. And show others how to become happy through your own example. I am sure that we are all born with a talent, something that know one else in the world can do as good as you can. What did you love doing when you were a child?

You can become anyone you choose to be, you can do anything you choose to do, the first step then.... is to decide.

Good luck.


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Postby Siouxyan » Tue Feb 23, 2016 1:44 pm

The greater purpose in everyone's life is to make others happy, and when you are not doing your best at doing so, you will feel unfulfilled. If you feel empty, that emptiness is most likely caused by you not benefiting the world to the true extent you are capable of. Though you may not be performing in front of massive crowds or reaching as far as you can to help, guiding people towards happiness and helping to change lives, in any measure, can attribute meaning to whatever you are doing, as long as you put your heart into it.
People with large audiences are thought to be more life-changing, because they can help many at a time and there is much help needed in the world today, and every day, but you can also help in your day-to-day life even if you are not playing concerts or speaking in front of large crowds...
Realize this: though you may not be helping everybody and changing the whole world, if you simply help one person, by being kind to them and helping them to feel their true worth, you are changing their whole world and bringing true happiness to someone who may not have held it before. You can do this for anyone, not just strangers. Friends, family, coworkers, clients... everyone can benefit from simple acts of kindness, and from you bending your mind to assist them along on their path. Kindness is a ripple effect: if you are kind to one person, they are more likely to be kind to another person, and so on. Helping others to find their own worth helps you to do so with yourself, and our personal worth is measured by the extent to which we spread our happiness, not simply what we are doing in terms of reaching large crowds (though that does not hurt, and can boost our own worth).

On the topic of doing things in front of large crowds, your worth- based on how you go about fulfilling your purpose of assisting others in reaching their own true potential for happiness, and therefore in lending that happiness to the next person- can be boosted by creating and spreading art. Art is a way to convey to others what you are facing, a way of putting it in front of them for their observation and analysis, allowing them to feel that other people are going through similar things as them, but note that the ones who truly effect others in a positive way are the ones who do receive benefit from being in front of those crowds (someone who gets in front of large crowds to talk down about people or to bring negativity in to the world do not get any long-term benefit from their performance.
Though it is not the only way to spread a positive ripple, it still is something that everyone should try. It helps to alleviate your own stress, by delving into the causes of that stress, and it enlightens you to solutions to those problems. Then, to publicize your own art helps to give meaning to life, for yourself and for others. You definitely should try to tune into your feelings and to create art, and to present it. I know that doing so would greatly benefit you. Try writing poetry, or writing short stories, or painting, or making music, or getting into photography... there are so many art forms, and at least a few of them will surely speak to you and help you alleviate your worries.
However, like I said earlier, creating and presenting art is not the only way to alleviate your stress and to create a positive ripple; you can help others without doing it in massive proportions, for besides going to art shows, people benefit from positive interactions in their everyday lives. Meditation helps to calm your mind; holding a positive disposition does the same, for when you radiate with a positive vibration, you emanate that vibration, and others latch on, and so you create for them a bit of happiness that they may not have felt before, and that they would not have felt in that instance when you come into their lives if you are not focusing on helping as best you can.

On the topic of feeling strongly enough for something that you are willing to die for it... that is simply a radical thought, and is not actually helpful, for at the root, you can do a lot more for someone in being alive than you can when dead, no matter the profundity of your passing. I know you were referring more to the feelings of willingness to die for something, but what I am saying is that nothing is worth dying for, because you can do the same by staying alive, and, in fact, you can do much more. It is not natural, in fact, to feel so strongly for something that you would be wiling to die for it.
As far as feeling strongly about something, you surely will, but you must first create the path for yourself that fulfills your greater purpose (that purpose which is shared by everyone, regardless of if you see or feel it at any given moment) of spreading happiness to the furthest reaches you can. The other side to this is that when you are fulfilling that purpose, you will come to peace with yourself, for peace is the reactionary outcome to that fulfillment.

Not liking being touched or bothered are symptoms of being busy, whether it be with dealing with sorting out a physical or mental ailment, or simply working through something that takes much focus. You may not feel busy, but your mind is trying to tell you something- it is trying to tell you that you have something to figure out, that you have something to do.
Being busy makes people seem irritable to the outside world, and you are simply seeing that irritability for yourself, since you seem to not be filling your time with finding your path and moving down that path (the path towards inner peace; the path towards helping the world).

Everyone feels compassion once they are working hard towards something positive, because when they are working hard towards something specific, and when that something specific is something that will benefit others in their own quest for happiness, your everyday goal is aligned with caring for people, and compassion itself comes from caring for people. Whether it be trying to put smiles on the faces around you, or trying to extend your reach through the arts, you will feel compassion when practicing these forms of sharing yourself with the world around you.

You simply have to align your life with what you want to be doing, and you have to work towards it, and I can guarantee that you will feel those feelings of fulfillment, because feeling those feelings is motivation to help further your care for others which is the only way to bring true benefit from your life in a way that aligns with your true purpose and everyone's true purpose- creating and complimenting the creation of happiness in yourself, in others, and, ultimately, in all.

Try keeping a journal. It may sound unhelpful, but it really does help. It helps you to sort through your thoughts, and therefore how to move on from where you may be stuck. If you take up my idea of creating art, keeping a personal journal will help immensely.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions about anything I have posted here, feel free to respond with those questions and I will clear up what I have said. Take care.
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Postby Theorease » Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:57 pm

My purpose is to increase the pleasure and decrease the pain of as many people, and other lifeforms (I'm not a vegetarian but...well) living today and in the perpetual future. :D
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