How to get over issues with nudity?

Postby eagle44 » Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:01 pm

Could you please refer me to literature, a legit website or other sources of help for my problem?

I have a huge issue with nudity. In artwork, on TV, in public, etc. It makes me extremely angry and upset. If I watch TV and see full frontal nudity, I won't be able to sleep that night. Even if I hear about a TV show or whatever with specific nudity, it will affect me.

The issue is specifically with genitals, behind and female breasts; or just anything "risque" or sexual.

I am really tired of this issue, it is affecting my life greatly. I believe it may come from my mother being extremely anti-nudity. I would like to change, because I realize the human body is nothing to be ashamed of. I have a healthy sex life and am not ashamed of my own body, although I do not like being shirtless in public. I am in a relationship with an art student and it is a big issue that I conflict so much with nude art.

Please help? :)

BTW, I'm male and 24. No drinking, no smoking, no drugs, although I did have a bad period 2/3 years ago.
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#1

Postby jenishpatel87 » Fri Dec 04, 2015 8:48 pm

Its quite normal to get such thoughts about nudity, being young in 20s-30s. As a human body, it quite natural to get affected by lust. But whether or not if you want to encourage that particular thought at a given time is your own choice. You don't have to run away from it neither completely get stuck into it. It is said that, mind gets bound with whatever you are against it or completely immersed in it. Just observe it and your mind will come out of it automatically, the you have a choice & freedom to take decisions.
Hope it helps :)
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#2

Postby eagle44 » Fri Dec 04, 2015 8:59 pm

jenishpatel87 wrote:Its quite normal to get such thoughts about nudity, being young in 20s-30s. As a human body, it quite natural to get affected by lust. But whether or not if you want to encourage that particular thought at a given time is your own choice. You don't have to run away from it neither completely get stuck into it. It is said that, mind gets bound with whatever you are against it or completely immersed in it. Just observe it and your mind will come out of it automatically, the you have a choice & freedom to take decisions.
Hope it helps :)


Hey!

Thank you for posting. ^_^ I think you misunderstand the problem, though. I am not aroused or having sexual feelings at all. I feel anger & upset at nudity. Like seeing someone kill a kitten. This is an unnatural reaction and makes me want to punch the wall or something (I don't, but just as an example of how I feel). I don't know anyone at all who is like me, except maybe some elderly Christian ladies.

I'd like to read up on "extreme discomfort with nudity", but this seems to be such a specific issue, I cannot find any material on it.
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#3

Postby jenishpatel87 » Fri Dec 04, 2015 9:07 pm

eagle44 wrote:
jenishpatel87 wrote:Its quite normal to get such thoughts about nudity, being young in 20s-30s. As a human body, it quite natural to get affected by lust. But whether or not if you want to encourage that particular thought at a given time is your own choice. You don't have to run away from it neither completely get stuck into it. It is said that, mind gets bound with whatever you are against it or completely immersed in it. Just observe it and your mind will come out of it automatically, the you have a choice & freedom to take decisions.
Hope it helps :)


Hey!

Thank you for posting. ^_^ I think you misunderstand the problem, though. I am not aroused or having sexual feelings at all. I feel anger & upset at nudity. Like seeing someone kill a kitten. This is an unnatural reaction and makes me want to punch the wall or something (I don't, but just as an example of how I feel). I don't know anyone at all who is like me, except maybe some elderly Christian ladies.

I'd like to read up on "extreme discomfort with nudity", but this seems to be such a specific issue, I cannot find any material on it.


ok.. I understood. But I guess you still stuck with it, as you say you feel anger and upset, means you are against it. So, if you develop a habit of observing instead of feeling reacting on it, it would help to uplift your mind from that situation. Don't know if you understood what I mean :!:
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#4

Postby eagle44 » Fri Dec 04, 2015 9:16 pm

Ah, sorry, then I understand what you mean.

Yes, I agree with you. Actually, I understand the theory but DOING it is just impossible. Any kind of recommended book or literature? I really need to read something deep to be able to change myself, you know?

But realizing the problem is a start, I think.
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#5

Postby jenishpatel87 » Fri Dec 04, 2015 9:37 pm

eagle44 wrote:Ah, sorry, then I understand what you mean.

Yes, I agree with you. Actually, I understand the theory but DOING it is just impossible. Any kind of recommended book or literature? I really need to read something deep to be able to change myself, you know?

But realizing the problem is a start, I think.


ya..absolutely correct, once you realize the root cause of the problem, then its a simple start. In order to do it practically, it needs some "lead" from inside, from within. I know a couple of books called, 'Mind Matters', 'Know Your Mind' by Art of Living. Its not directly/specifically related to your problem of issues with nudity, but it indeed talks the basics about how the mind behaves in different situations. You can find it in google. Another way to deal practically is to drive the mind via breath. Check these books on art of living, I am sure you will find your initial START :D
Good Luck brother!
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#6

Postby Introspectah » Wed Dec 09, 2015 5:46 pm

'



Reading this, eagle?



'
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#7

Postby eagle44 » Wed Dec 09, 2015 5:52 pm

Introspectah wrote:'



Reading this, eagle?



'


Huh?

jenishpatel87 wrote:
eagle44 wrote:Ah, sorry, then I understand what you mean.

Yes, I agree with you. Actually, I understand the theory but DOING it is just impossible. Any kind of recommended book or literature? I really need to read something deep to be able to change myself, you know?

But realizing the problem is a start, I think.


ya..absolutely correct, once you realize the root cause of the problem, then its a simple start. In order to do it practically, it needs some "lead" from inside, from within. I know a couple of books called, 'Mind Matters', 'Know Your Mind' by Art of Living. Its not directly/specifically related to your problem of issues with nudity, but it indeed talks the basics about how the mind behaves in different situations. You can find it in google. Another way to deal practically is to drive the mind via breath. Check these books on art of living, I am sure you will find your initial START :D
Good Luck brother!

Thanks! Unfortunately I can't find those books, just something about Christian living? :/

Actually I like what you said though. I hope I can work in that direction.
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#8

Postby Introspectah » Wed Dec 09, 2015 6:27 pm

Huh?


Checking out to ascertain whether or not you had read up on the latest advice, and taken it in well, or if you were still on the lookout for some pertinent pieces of feedback.
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#9

Postby eagle44 » Wed Dec 09, 2015 6:33 pm

Introspectah wrote:
Huh?


Checking out to ascertain whether or not you had read up on the latest advice, and taken it in well, or if you were still on the lookout for some pertinent pieces of feedback.


Oh, thank you. :)

Yes, I am still looking for more information as well. I was waiting for other people to reply, that's why I hadn't yet.
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#10

Postby Introspectah » Sat Dec 12, 2015 5:45 pm

Yes, I am still looking for more information as well. I was waiting for other people to reply, that's why I hadn't yet.


Are there certain situations in which you do feel at ease beholding nudity?
As in the symbiosis of romantic passion?


I assume your mother conditionned your youthful mind by rigidly imposing a sense of morality upon you, and by preventing you from searching out certain provocative stimuli she dreaded?
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#11

Postby eagle44 » Sat Dec 12, 2015 9:02 pm

Introspectah wrote:
Yes, I am still looking for more information as well. I was waiting for other people to reply, that's why I hadn't yet.


Are there certain situations in which you do feel at ease beholding nudity?
As in the symbiosis of romantic passion?


I love your phrasing.

By "symbiosis of romantic passion", are you referring to my relationship? I have no issues with nudity there at all. In private between us it is totally fine.

But if one of us was nude in front of someone else, I would lose my sh**...even with a doctor or masseur.

The only situation I feel slightly at ease looking at nudity is (don't judge) Madonna's SEX book. There is something very "in control" and down to earth about it. I think some of it is fine.

But if I Google "nudity", it will absolutely make me lose my mind and I will want to punch whoever is on the photos/paintings and whoever is looking at it.

I assume your mother conditionned your youthful mind by rigidly imposing a sense of morality upon you, and by preventing you from searching out certain provocative stimuli she dreaded?


It's possible, but I don't remember anything about it. I know she is very anti-nudity and makes some snarky comments about it, but I don't remember anything extreme done to me.

In fact, by the age of 14+ I became more anti-nudity than her. I remember getting my parents to turn off the TV many times because it was making me sick and upset.
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#12

Postby eagle44 » Sat Dec 12, 2015 9:15 pm

I just want to add, maybe it's irrelevant, but I'm very monogamous and believe that the body is something special and intimate that should be between you and your partner.

Of course, that does not explain why I have a problem with fictional nudity...like simple sketches or paintings...IDK.
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#13

Postby Introspectah » Sun Dec 13, 2015 2:01 am

By "symbiosis of romantic passion", are you referring to my relationship?


For example.
And by extension, any form of intimate contact which entails nudity as a criterion.


The only situation I feel slightly at ease looking at nudity is (don't judge) Madonna's SEX book. There is something very "in control" and down to earth about it. I think some of it is fine.


This naturally requires an in-depth investigation as to discern which elements inherent to this book differ so remarkably from the rest of imagery and occurences which you find so reprehensible.


It's possible, but I don't remember anything about it. I know she is very anti-nudity and makes some snarky comments about it, but I don't remember anything extreme done to me.


Wasn't implying the happening of extreme acts of punity or something of the sort.
More like a rigidty of upbringing which has left behind a residue carried out and held onto by certain notable memories you may be conscious of, or may have repressed.
In which case i'd feel inclined to suggest a moment of retrospection to attempt to reintegrate [some of] these into your awareness.


I just want to add, maybe it's irrelevant, but I'm very monogamous and believe that the body is something special and intimate that should be between you and your partner.


Far from irrelevant, and far from worrisome in and of itself.
Its the ramifications of your core values that prove to complicate the matter.
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#14

Postby MindfulMiss » Sun Jul 17, 2016 12:06 am

I would like to say how brave you are because it's so hard admitting that nudity bothers you especially in a world filled with nudity around every corner. Well maybe not every corner but it can sure feel like that when you're anxious and agitated by nudity. I myself am in the same boat I will be 28 this august and i have hated nudity and oversexuality (outside of my own private committed monogamous relationship as well) pretty much my whole life. I can even remember back to being a young infant and disliking seeing sexual gestures even mild ones.

I agree with a comment made above that when you focus on any subject much like the law of attraction, If you focus and hone in on the things you do and don't like your bound to be surrounded and even eventually smothered by them. The trickiest part will be doing some ``mindful bushwhacking`` as silly as this sounds, you need to start making some changes for yourself to start living more comfortably and happily. The main reason because you deserve too!

I just recently took a mindful meditation course suggested from my counsellor whom i talk to every so often about this exact issue and other things which cause myself anxiety. So step one get a counsellor, it's hard to take that first step but it's really amazing and rewarding talking to someone unbiased who doesn't love you. Step two ask to go do a ten week mindful meditation course. I know you're probably thinking this sounds hokey pokey and this won`t help, IT WILL!!! Cognitive therapy to change your habitual ways of thinking and your behaviours are necessary especially when dealing with a boulder this large.

Also i don't think anything's wrong with you or that you even need to change, people need to accept you for who you are starting with you, others will follow. Don't act like you need to fix something because then it means you're broken. Just know you are perfect as you are this is one of your quirks and the only thing you really need to do is make the intensity of your reactions maybe less and again that's only so you yourself can live more happily and comfortably.

I`ve never posted anything before in my life i hope this helps you and isn't too lame! I thought only christian ladies felt this way too haha its nice to know i'm not alone! There's gotta be more of us haha! Goodluck!
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