3 years and 9 months clean from weed - PAWS

Postby bvl » Fri Dec 04, 2015 7:45 pm

Hello everybody,

It's been a while since I last posted, so probably most new comers don't know the issues I had to face while withdrawing from marijuana.

I quit smoking 3 years and 11 months ago and experienced severe withdrawal symptoms which lasted for aproximately two years. But that's not the end of the story. I still had to undo some damage I made to my thinking pattern and currently I am working on improving myself and will probably do this for the rest of my life.

3 years ago I was a complete mess. I was permanently thinking I had ruined my life for good and that I'll never get better and the best thing I could do is to commit suicide or go and hide somewhere where there isn't any human being on a radius of 50 kilometers, for the rest of my life....
I had no hope left and desperation had filled my entire being.

I guess I owe it alot to uncommonforum, to the support I got from my suffering parteners (here I mention Netty - I hope you're doing great!) and to the reason that I had people to whom I shared my story and they non-judgmentally understood. This, few friends of mine, beautiful girls and my stubbornnes helped me fight this tremendous battle and overcome what I consider it to be the biggest test of my life.

So, where am I now?
Things got ALOT better, both on the inside and on the outside. I really am a different person. A normal person with good days and bad days, a person that doesn't take life for granted anymore. I became a responsible adult and though i'm only 26 years old, in 4 months I am going to become a father and start my own familly. Yes, of course I still have some bothering thoughts, some concerns about the future... but now I understand this is a normal part of our human experience and it doesn't scare me anymore.

I feel focused on my tasks, I feel motivated to find solutions to any problems or challenges I experience on my path, I am more sociable, started speaking in public and doing things I never thought I could do. And starting my own family was one of them.

I can't say for sure that the nervousness I often experience is PAWS related ( I remember being like this before I even started smoking weed) but this is one of the issues I am currently working on improving and I know it is just a matter of time until i'll change it into something more productive. (hey, we all have flaws after all...)

Another thing that I have to change and repair on the inside, is the lack of smiling. I forgot how to smile from the bottom of my heart. I know PAWS was a very intense experience and probably left me a bit shocked, so I usually look as if I am going to kill someone ( I just look that way..... well... sometimes I could punch somebody at least :D ).

Becoming better is a lifelong struggle and learning, which none of us can avoid, but overall.... I am proud to say I overcame addiction and PAWS.

For all those still fighting this battle I wish you best of luck and stay strong! Read as much as you can about personal development and never give up on the things you desire to accomplish.
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Postby endofdelta9 » Sat Dec 05, 2015 1:48 am

thank you bvl for this great report

i am so happy for you that you had such great improvements


i am 1 year and 4+ month and it is getting better
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Postby DianaCamomile » Mon Dec 07, 2015 1:42 pm

I tried it once - "bull s**t" was my thought. its not mine thing =)
hold on!
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Postby Davinci » Mon Dec 07, 2015 9:06 pm

BVL you are an example man!

Congratulations on your new life.
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Postby bvl » Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:24 am

Thanks, you too!
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Postby cryingsoul » Sun Dec 13, 2015 9:20 pm

I'm freaking out. I quit weed 2 weeks ago and I'm having ringing in my left ear, severe anxiety, hot and cold sweats, no appetite. It mostly happens at night and when I wake up. I'm so scared that I almost went to the ER. I feel my life is over.
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Postby netty28661 » Mon Dec 14, 2015 1:17 pm

Hey bvl, I haven't been on the forum for a while, I do try to check in now & again & I'm glad I did. Congratulations on your new baby, that's fantastic news!

What a long way we've come, we're both at the same stage & yeh I'm great ta! Like you I do not take life for granted, I spent nearly 10 years in the fog of weed addiction,I'm 54 & the fittest I've ever been, still love the gym, do as much as I can with my 5 year old grandson. Lost a good friends husband to cancer this year so that's another reason to live life to the full.

I still have some issues but like you I had them prior to using weed, mainly anxiety. I still wake up some mornings with a feeling of dread even when lifes good,I think that's just my default setting & I don't deal with stress very well but I never have. I still try to meditate which helps ALOT, I've got out of it lately due to my son coming back home after a split but I'm getting back to it.

We were away at a Christmas market at the weekend to get in the mood for christmas, got a panto next week & santa steam train with my grandson & my parents & it's just lovely with a little one,you've got all this to come!

Great to hear from you. If nothing else mine & bvl's stories are proof that you can quit for good & have a much much better life for it.

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Postby bvl » Sat Dec 19, 2015 10:39 pm

So glad you replied!
I'm very proud of us and the achievements we've unlocked in our lives.
We really had a tough journey and here we are as normal persons.
Yes, we are the living proof that paws can be defeated.
Thank you for giving me some encouragement (then and now), I really wish you a happy life netty!
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Postby Masculine Vigilance » Thu Dec 24, 2015 4:03 pm

Congratulations on becoming a proud person with a family. Im two weeks sober and I can wait till i am in your position; in which I am sober and living with a woman that loves me as much as i love her.

Cryingsoul , i feel your pain man. Keep posting on this forum , this is a good support system. Maybe , move back in with your family , so that they could look out for you during this time of withdrawal and PAWS.
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Postby Mozzy » Tue Jan 05, 2016 5:03 pm

Dear crying soul..the first few weeks are utterly intolerable. For the first week all I did was mope around, thinking of something more serious. I actually relapsed over the holidays after 4 months clean. It was awfully stupid of me as I now have to start from scratch. But hang in there...there must be better days ahead. Good luck!
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Postby Mozzy » Wed Jan 06, 2016 12:01 am

Dear blv,

Congrats on everything you have accomplished thus far. You are truly an inspiration to us all.
Uncoomonforum has been a real life saver for me. I appreciate all of the threads here.all very sincere and genuine. We're all struggling in one way or another, and I'd just like to send warm wishes to all tonight. May you rest well with a better tomorrow.
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Postby Masculine Vigilance » Wed Jan 06, 2016 10:15 pm

Hey all forum members, I wanted to encourage everyone to keep up the good work. My last post on this thread was Christmas eve. Its was a tough new years, yet I got through it. I stayed sober that night and have continued to stay sober. I feel proud and strong for enabling myself to stay sober through even these hard times and I feel that everybody will feel that way about themselves by staying sober
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Postby Markdaniel » Thu Jun 21, 2018 1:53 am

What about the sleep does it get better
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Postby Meruem » Mon Apr 08, 2019 2:27 pm

Hi fam. Everyday is a battle for me. It's been a year seven months up to date bit the suffering stop has a hold on me.

Most symptoms are gone. I struggle with head pressure and crippling insomnia. Sometimes I just want to give but their is so much at stake.

This thing restricts me from my full potential. I'm often restricted and pinned down my bed. I quit my job and don't pursue my freelancing side hustle as often as I did.

Anyone still going through head pressure, scalp pressure, headaches after a year in six months?
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Postby admmck81 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 2:12 pm

That's great for you. When I smoked, it was super easy not to. All I had to do was...not smoke. I was never addicted to it, even when I used it every day for months at a time. It was always a decision, never a compulsion. Someone says "Wanna smoke?" and I would say yes or no. Yeah, for me it really was that easy. And I spent a good chunk of those days in a post-high haze. Next day, didn't smoke any. Days turned into weeks, then months, then years, and I never had withdrawals. The only time I want to smoke is when pain is keeping me awake at night. Again, I used to smoke every single day. Maybe I just have a harder time becoming addicted to things than others...
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