I'm not comfortable around women.

Postby w666 » Wed Apr 20, 2016 9:40 am

My family is extremely religious and boys talking to girls is a taboo. So since childhood I never really approached any girl. I have very few girl friends ( about 3), that too, THEY approached me. I want to meet more women now but I feel inferior to them for some reason and also I'm a very shy guy. What should I do?
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Postby Bean » Wed Apr 20, 2016 10:07 am

In what ways do you feel inferior to them? Do you feel superior to them in any ways? Perhaps there are many things you feel on a level with them if you think about it?
Do you feel inferior to guys also? (perhaps this isnt a gender thing?)

What should you do? -- I should think approach more girls (just do it!). Find activities to do that interest you and involve males and females interacting, then you can naturally come into closer contact with females more and start talking to them more.
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Postby betawarrior » Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:27 pm

I think it's important to understand women. From my experience, what women crave more than anything is individualized attention. They like to feel as if someone sees them as special, as individuals, with unique, lovable qualities.

So, if I were you, I would simply practice your observation skills. When you see a woman, ask yourself: what about her is unique? When she talks, listen carefully. What about her story, her personality, her style is unique to you? Don't worry about approaching women. Just focus on observing and listening to them. Listen, observe, listen, observe.

If you do this enough, with the different women you see, you'll start to get out of your shell and be a little more comfortable.
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Postby Betsy90 » Sat Nov 19, 2016 9:06 pm

Work on your confidence man. Start to work out, that helps a lot.
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Postby Marais » Sat Nov 19, 2016 11:06 pm

Nobody is.
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Postby AlexD » Thu Nov 24, 2016 12:08 am

You can take a good social anxiety course online. There are several excellent ones. Inexpensive at that. There are also courses on conversation skills. It seems like the prohibition your family imposed on you has really done more harm than any good. You should be comfortable talking to anyone while growing up, because talking to boys or girls is simply not a crime! Otherwise how can you possibly function confidently in society? You've got a mental block and need to rewire your thinking process a little bit. I want to reassure you it is completely learnable. I help people with this all the time as a self-confidence coach. Not sure if I am allowed PMs yet as I am a relatively new member here, but if you want, check with me in a couple of weeks, and you should be able to PM me. In the meantime, do some online research on books or courses that target shyness, low self-esteem, and social anxiety. And as the other members here say, you are not inferior to anyone! You are just as good as anyone else. I am a woman and I know you are not inferior, so erase this notion from your head, please. You will find eventually that there are all sorts of people out there, just start talking with them and you'll see you have plenty to offer.
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Postby laureat » Thu Nov 24, 2016 1:21 am

well first of all, you should know its natural for a man to become little excited around women,
and second nomatter the religion its easy to become tense around women as the expectations you have from oneself keeps you on pressure

and the religion can possible strengthen negative ideas

try to have positive experiences with women so that may strengthen positive feelings about them
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Postby Marais » Thu Nov 24, 2016 4:56 pm

You feel inferior to them because of your low self esteem by the way, fix that somehow.
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Postby JuliusFawcett » Sun Nov 27, 2016 12:39 pm

Learning to be more comfortable with ourselves is all about being more forgiving, more accepting and being more grateful. These choices all improve the quality of our life experience
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