Mom is a bully, what do I do?


Postby turtleswim » Thu Oct 05, 2017 12:52 pm

angelal wrote:I would move out. Yes, she is your mother and yes, you love her. But nothing in this world is worth losing your sanity from emotional and mental abuse.

I should move out. I have no money. I have to finish grad school. I have two months to go. I will move out when I have an income. She threatened me a couple days in a row. I asked her if I could use her credit card to help pay for a fee to be a substitute teacher. She handed me the card. Now she has been threatening eviction daily. She is taking about a dozen pills a day so I can see how uncomfortable that is. Thanks for the thought of moving out. She acts like bully with a "gunnysack, release, honeymoon" pattern. She lays in bed all day thinking up things I have done wrong. Then when I get home after working in a school all day she unleashes her anger and tells me I am a thief and should go live in my car. Then I talked to her and kept the mood level by keeping her up to date on my schedule. I told her I'm done in two months and then I can pay more rent, move out or whatever we decide on. She wants me to work and pay some rent. I can do that until I have a job that can help with rent somewhere else. When she is upset I have to hold my ground and argue a little just to calm her down. She wants me to tell her what is going on. Between her loud TV and her manic inability to listen it is hard to talk to her. I have gratitude uncommon knowledge is her for issues like this. My therapist communicates the message that even though family is off and on manipulative and threatening pure hatred does not exist. The desire to commit aggravated assault is just not there. Anyone out there have ideas about how to deal with daily minor and major threats?
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Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Oct 05, 2017 9:02 pm

Why are you unable to get a job while attending grad school?
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Postby whybotherwhynot » Fri Oct 06, 2017 4:43 am

40-year-old man living with 77-year-old mother and calling her a bully. Unbelievable!!!

Who is younger and who is stronger here?

I don't know if you are your mom's only child, and she spoiled you rotten, and made you to be disable, to grow up to be a dependent man on mama, to feel entitled for everything she has had or worked hard for. And now she's old and weak and feeling tired and maybe feeling disappointed in you and becoming crumpy. And you cannot get much out of her anymore, and you accuse her as a bully.

Unless you are physically or mentally impaired, there's no reason you should have no job and living with your mom and call her a bully.

Nowadays there are so many young adults are so lazy, feeling entitled for everything their parents worked hard all their life to earn it. And when they cannot get what they want, they get mad.

If you were a good son, you should listen to her when you were young, to studied hard, worked hard, got a good job, had your own home, either far or near her, and your could help her when she needed you. If you could not help her yourself, you could hire someone to help her. And if she is really a difficult woman, you could live in your own place, then there would not be crashes.

I saw many times in my life that children who are willing to study hard, work hard, and want to be independent, dare to move out of the house from young (after high school), take responsibility on their own are the ones who are more successful in life and not to blame and accuse their parents of this and that so much. And there are the totally opposite ones.

I just hate to see young (very young up to 25 years old) and old children (40, 50) want to rip off their parents, and when they cannot, they get upset, mad, and call their parents names and accuse them all kinds of mean things.

That is really wrong.
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