What should i focus on?

Postby Translucent » Sun Aug 14, 2016 1:39 am

I can't decide if i should focus on myself, or if i should focus on helping other people like family or friends. I need friends and family in this world but at the same time i can't progress unless i focus on myself.
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#1

Postby This-isnt-me » Sun Aug 14, 2016 2:35 am

Buddha says if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.

Take care of yourself first bc you can't love anyone else without first loving you. If is a struggle we all go through. I'm still struggling.
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#2

Postby Translucent » Sun Aug 14, 2016 2:38 am

Awesome advice, i'll try to keep that in mind
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#3

Postby This-isnt-me » Sun Aug 14, 2016 2:51 am

:) if you need a pal I'm here!
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#4

Postby JuliusFawcett » Sun Aug 14, 2016 7:30 am

Trust your intuition, your true self, keep it real, what's your gut instinct telling you to do?
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#5

Postby Translucent » Mon Aug 15, 2016 8:54 pm

This-isnt-me wrote::) if you need a pal I'm here!


Thanks, right back at ya
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#6

Postby Translucent » Mon Aug 15, 2016 8:57 pm

JuliusFawcett wrote:Trust your intuition, your true self, keep it real, what's your gut instinct telling you to do?


My gut feeling is pain and anxiety right now, i want to go to school to become a counsellor but school in the past was painful to say the least.
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#7

Postby JuliusFawcett » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:02 pm

The past is over, the past doesn't equal the future, the fact that school was painful puts you in a wonderful position to become a school counsellor. What would be something that you could do today towards this goal?
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#8

Postby Translucent » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:13 pm

Thanks for the quick reply.

No way, i hate the school environment. By counsellor i meant like a psychologist or something.

One thing i could do is try to exercise more and eat healthier, to lose some weight and build muscle so i can be stronger. Another thing i could do is research my occupation choice and prepare myself and be more enlightened as to what i must do.

Either way i must leave my comfort zone somehow because i want to have a good life and i want my relatives to be proud of me.
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#9

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:20 pm

Translucent wrote:My gut feeling is pain and anxiety right now, i want to go to school to become a counsellor but school in the past was painful to say the least.


Setting a goal to become a counselor would be of little value if it was not without challenge. It is healthy to set specific, challenging goals.

"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” - President Theodore Roosevelt
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#10

Postby Translucent » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:28 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Translucent wrote:My gut feeling is pain and anxiety right now, i want to go to school to become a counsellor but school in the past was painful to say the least.


Setting a goal to become a counselor would be of little value if it was not without challenge. It is healthy to set specific, challenging goals.

"Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” - President Theodore Roosevelt


You're totally right, without challenge and progression life is stale. But i find it hard to concentrate at all, it's like thinking too much and looking too deeply into things and being alone, has changed my mind and i can almost predict things. But then i get nervous and things turn out differently. I don't know if that makes any sense but it's true.
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#11

Postby JuliusFawcett » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:35 pm

Translucent wrote:Thanks for the quick reply.

No way, i hate the school environment. By counsellor i meant like a psychologist or something.

One thing i could do is try to exercise more and eat healthier, to lose some weight and build muscle so i can be stronger. Another thing i could do is research my occupation choice and prepare myself and be more enlightened as to what i must do.

Either way i must leave my comfort zone somehow because i want to have a good life and i want my relatives to be proud of me.


So what is stoping you from start right now?
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#12

Postby Translucent » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:50 pm

JuliusFawcett wrote:
Translucent wrote:Thanks for the quick reply.

No way, i hate the school environment. By counsellor i meant like a psychologist or something.

One thing i could do is try to exercise more and eat healthier, to lose some weight and build muscle so i can be stronger. Another thing i could do is research my occupation choice and prepare myself and be more enlightened as to what i must do.

Either way i must leave my comfort zone somehow because i want to have a good life and i want my relatives to be proud of me.


So what is stoping you from start right now?


I have a skin lesion on my tail bone that needs an operation, so until that's done i can't work out. I've been trying to eat healthier though i had some candy today so that's bad. And i feel severe anxiety about going into the unknown, as if once i start i have to make a commitment and follow through until the end, so i procrastinate. Also i have a difficult time concentrating as i might still be in love with a girl i once knew and my heart longs for her.

Please bear with me, i'm really pouring out the truth here, painful as it may be. I have many psychological problems.
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#13

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Aug 15, 2016 9:55 pm

Translucent wrote: But i find it hard to concentrate at all, it's like thinking too much and looking too deeply into things...


When I think too much, I find it helpful to take a step back and focus only on what I want to accomplish tomorrow or the next week. By shortening my time horizon, it reduces or eliminates any immediate concerns.

For instance, you can set a one week goal for researching counseling. You can set a one week goal regarding fitness. This allows you to move forward, it allows you to focus on at least that week. With your action plan for the week established, you can then feel more comfortable fleshing out longer term goals.
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#14

Postby Translucent » Mon Aug 15, 2016 10:01 pm

Do you think i should tell someone about my action plan and seek help, or should i do it privately?
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