How to be happy alone

[mmacc2011]

Hi,

Recently I've been noticing changes in my group of friends. We're all 25 and some of us are lucky in relationships, others haven't found that person yet... I haven't.

I've noticed that were all drifting, and from speaking to other people, apparently it's kind of normal, as people meet their other halves etc. At the moment, I haven't, and to be honest I don't really have time to make that special person happy either, so I feel although I want to meet someone, it's better if I didn't.

But on weekends, its increasingly hard to find a time to meet up and go for a meal or a beer or so on. I'm angry in a way that it never happens, and that all of a sudden I'm not their priority. I feel used. We've had a period where I've stepped away from the group when I feel angry, and do my own thing. They say they miss me.

What I would like to know is this:-
A) Is it normal to idealise about not needing any friends and being totally self sufficient and happy? I sometimes wish I was totally not in need of social interaction as it is so hard to get a mutually convenient time,
B) If you're single, what do you do on weekends, that can be by yourself? Not a fan of being in a restaurant or bar by myself.
C) How do I remain happy on my own? I always tend to get lonely and miserable really quick? Yet if I have some project on the boil, I feel a blessing when I get my own time.
D) After a crazy week at work, is it normal to not want any contact for a few hours or days?

Thanks.

[Richard@DecisionSkills]

A) Is it normal to idealise about not needing any friends and being totally self sufficient and happy? I sometimes wish I was totally not in need of social interaction as it is so hard to get a mutually convenient time,

It is normal and fairly common. While 100% isolation is extreme, there are plenty of stories of artists, philosophers, writers, religious figures, etc. living relatively solitary, productive, happy lives. There are farmers, trappers and rangers that spend lots of time by themselves.

B) If you're single, what do you do on weekends, that can be by yourself? Not a fan of being in a restaurant or bar by myself.

I travel. I go enjoy the local culture. Most recently I was in Ecuador for a couple of months and now I am headed to China for 4 months. During my travels I make new friends and they often times invite me to this or that activity. Sometimes I'm alone, other times with locals, other times with foreigners or expats.

C) How do I remain happy on my own? I always tend to get lonely and miserable really quick? Yet if I have some project on the boil, I feel a blessing when I get my own time.

That is a bit tricky. To be happy on your own it is based on your personal beliefs and what you see as important in life. A person with high self-confidence that is comfortable with who they are is happy with their own company. Spending time alone or with others makes no real difference. Have fun, enjoy the journey either way. It's your journey.

D) After a crazy week at work, is it normal to not want any contact for a few hours or days?

Sure. That is perfectly normal and in fact healthy. I would be concerned if a person could never spend a weekend without requiring contact. I could see a problem if every weekend you just laid in bed, but there are plenty of people that go hiking or fishing to "get away".

[Suiky]

In order to be happy simply to be)

[Just_dance]

Just play video games and work.
Or just try online dating.
Cause you are not 50 years old.

[HumanB]

Make new friends. Or get a boyfriend/girl friend(s).

There is no normal. Some people like to be solitary and don't feel at all lonely with it. But that doesnt sound like you.

[bestcatcher]

Hi mmacc2011,

Good day

I see what you’re getting on its really hard because you fell that you getting left behind and there is nothing wrong with that is totally normal. What I suggest is don't focus on the negative be busy and be productive. Once I read this line I just don’t remember where or when and it said
“A shark that does not swim drowns” if you going to ask me what the hell is that supposed to mean? It means you need move on and go through with life with or without them that’s is very hard but if you look at the bright side you can be who you are with thinking of social pressure. You can soul search on things and find your way on your own. But don’t feel sad or angry with your friends because seemly feel they just used you that my friend is bad eventually you will moved on and as they have that a fact of life and you need accept that.
So solution :

A) You need to be busy and productive
B) Move on
C) Find your self
D) Be open to there situation